Bwale,
I sort of understand what you are going through. I lived with my dad until I was 18 years old. He would yell at me for almost anything and I would cry and he would yell at me even more. He would ask what is wrong with me. Every time I told him that I wanted to live with my mother, he would tell me I wasn’t old enough to make my own decisions and that I don’t know what I want in life. But I knew. He never understood me, even to this day he doesn’t, I am 21. As for what your going through, I know its tough and because I have dealt with that same sort of thing, I feel your pain, and I am about to cry reading this. Just be honest with him, if you find yourself feeling like you have to cry, maybe write him a letter about what you need to tell him. Let him know that you love your job. Explain it in a letter its easier for me to do that. Maybe it would help you? And you do know you have to do what makes you happy, not your father. I know making your parents happy is a hard thing, or wishing they could understand you or just be happy with who and what you are and chose to do. I hope I could help.

Dear bwale:

Your father is wrong for screaming at you. You probably cry because he screams at you. It is very difficult to be screamed at by someone you loved your whole life, your father. Unfortunately, if he never apologizes to you for screaming at you then he probably has no intention to change. It is not good for you to live with a person who screams at you and bullies you (and another person in the home, your mother). I think it is a good idea for you to find a way to move out of that home, away from your father.

Wherever you live, number one priority: let there be no person in your home who screams at you, who mistreats you in any way. Your home must be a safe place where you are either alone and safe or living with others who respect you, others who keep their voices calm and down, people you can trust to be calm, that is where safety is.

anita