I have never answered anyone like this before but I just came upon this sight a few minutes ago and already signed up with only reading a portion AND your post. I dont have the answer but we have a lot in common and feel we’re on the right page to get some answers. I think hobbies are good for us but when we use them for the purpose of just a distraction it is a temporary fill to a void. I dont think there is that “one thing” we are missing. I have been real busy with trying to learn new things such as windows office since I am looking for a new career and would like to be up to date with these skills. So with that I have been too busy to worry so much about what I should or could be doing. I am also learning to set and keep boundaries with those friends that always seem to be needy or negative. Being honest with yourself and focusing on any small goal brings self satisfaction which changes the way you feel and your outlook automatically becomes positive. I had a business for 17 years and recently sold it. My thought right now is Im wanting something more challenging with benefits and retirement-( but struggling with the idea of working for someone else). Regardless my resume doesnt seem to qualify me for whats out there unless I educate myself. So, as I said Im working on that and applying for jobs anyway.

Anything that you find “to get you moving again” has to come with challenges and self pride so that it sticks- otherwise its another high. If you love your job and want to persue it- you may have to work on marketing. A fresh start! A catchy new logo with bright shirts or hiring a positive person with fresh ideas. Mostly people want good service and know they arent getting taken. Once they trust you- Im sure you’ll be filled with referrals. If they see you’re a happy and genuine person they will help you succeed.

I didnt mean to pry or assume anything. I can relate and I feel its easier than we think to get motivated again. We just need positive influences around us. And remind yourself of all the things you have already accomplished. We tend to forget that part. Thanks for allowing me to share.

Angel

Hi Craig, I’m a 43 year old married, working mom of two. I think a lot of people feel the way you do but only some admit it. I’ve wondered about midlife, too.

To share a bit of my story with you, I lost my mom two years ago. We didn’t have a terrific relationship, but I stepped in to keep tabs on my dad and deal with the stuff that gets left behind. As that was going on, I found myself drawn to a lot of negative people, too. Misery loves company, they didn’t help me at all, and I had their sad stories stuck in my head, too. I’m generally optimistic so I tried doing anything that I used to enjoy and as you put it, “failed”. This made me feel worse.

So like Angel, I tried new things I hadn’t done before, knowing I’d fail at them at first. I laughed at my mistakes when I could, spent a lot of time by myself, outside in nature, and cried when I had to. I read a lot of optimistic “self-help” stuff on sites like this one. One tip I read was to imagine what I would do or say if one of my children were feeling the way I was. I would ask them, are you doing the best that you can for right now and in this moment? Another was to count my blessings. I forced myself to move in some way each day as a form of exercise – Neil is right, it really helps. I also try to make better choices eating. That helps, too.

For the past few months, I’ve been in a much better “place” than I was. It didn’t happen over night and I have to keep at it. I’ve been able to reflect productively. Many of those negative friends of mine are going through a lot of things, too: deaths, salary cuts, caring for elderly, etc. I think it’s part of being in our 40s. We are truly the grown-ups now.

This was my first time responding to anyone’s topic. I hope you find the answers you’re looking for. Oh, and thank you for your service to our country. Namaste. 🙂

Hello, Thank you to each of you for writing. I am 35 and I keep thinking – once I get this (life) all figured out, I’ll be okay. It is somehow a strange source of comfort to know that maybe there is no rush – I’ll still be working on this later, anyway. Sometimes I think, O, if I had a family – husband and kids then everything would be okay, because I would have someone to love me, and kids to focus on. But I guess that is great falsehood, as well. If I had a child – trying out ztwilliam’s question – in my shoes, I would tell her – Just go try something fun, go to a different country like you did in your 20s, just do it. Stop worrying.
I would love to hear your advice to me, as well, Craig, Angel, Neil and ztwilliams, what would you tell me – or yourself 10 years ago? Right now feel lost.
If I could talk to myself 10 years ago I would say – wait for the right person, and be happy – you are young! Does that advice apply to me today, I wonder, and if so why do I have so much trouble following it?
Sorry to start I new train of thought on my own life, but Craig, your post made me reflect on my own life.
My advice to you Craig is this – awesome for you that you are looking for a passion. Imagine – some people have just given up on looking, and are just sitting around, an unhappy – but you are looking – seek and you shall find – this is a Truth. Take this questioning and prompting as if someone were knocking on your door, asking to be let in for a while to sit with you. You would let someone in right, who kept knocking? Take some time each day, to just sit with this question. Don’t agonize over it, just sit with it, with curiosity. Or just enjoy the sitting. If you get an inspiration write it down. If your mind keeps coming back to it on other days, write it down again. Repeat as long as you feel like it. Notice if something sticks out. You are asking a beautiful question. Your life is meant for something special.
Thank you too, if you could take some time to give me some advice.

Kline, what is your question exactly?

I totally agree with you Mark. I am searching for a new career and have realized by journaling…all i want to really do is help people.. it gives me great satiisfaction. now i just have to find out exactly what i want to focus on that will also provide a decent income.

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