Hi,

I am in my early 20’s and i’ve never had a boyfriend. I will be blunt and say most of my encounters with guys have been me “jumping the gun” (physically) with them, too soon. I express my like for them in that way, and if I like someone it’s hard not to want that close, enjoyable experience. Anyway, so I have been part of the broken hearts club, kind of for a long time. Not over anyone in particular, just the lack of connection to a man- a relationship, love, partnership, etc. and my past failed attempts.

I met someone new. He seemed so different. Seemed like he is just now getting over his ex. We met on bumble, hung out once(yes hooked up- tmi, wrong? maybe)all daaaaay for hours, and from there hung out 4 more times in the same week. He initially said he wanted to focus on work basically, to which I responded okay we should stop this then because i’m looking for more. He says, no I just thought you’d be freaked out if I said hey be my girlfriend after 6 dates, I meant like lets just see each other and maybe in some months..we left it at that.

He seems pretty kind, and the fact that he has the dedication for previous relationships is a good sign to me. Also, he said he wasn’t talking to anyone and when I agreed he got happy and said good.

Next day, I had this random “vision” of him banging a girl who looked similar to his ex. I felt that he felt bad for it when he was done but wanted to do it. My  mind wandered “does his ex really have bf?”. And I started to believe this vision as intuition, although I know I may have paranoia issues due to past?

I am paranoid in relationships because the past guys i’ve dated have liked their ex’s photos or girls they’re banging pics. So I basically had enough time on my hands to see he’s liking girls photos, who like his back. Hot, sexy ones. It’s literally only been 2 weeks since we met. And I am..wanting to withdraw. I’m very loyal and when I pick one- I have tunnel vision for them. I like monogamy. I havent experienced it, maybe thats why I like it so much.

Anyway, now I am feeling uneasy about the situation and don’t even want to hangout with him. I want to withdraw, which is what I usually do if i’m going to be hurt. (Once, I stuck around. And I still got hurt.) What if we are not even compatible? what if he won’t ever be over his ex? what if I get hurt? I am scared of water emotion. And yes, it is still wasted emotion if I enjoyed it in the moment but the hurt in the end outweighed it.

I am kind of sad in general due to stress so it would further induce those emotions if I did get hurt.

So, thoughts? Am I paranoid? Am I crazy for expecting such a level of dedication so early on? We hook up each time but would he really want sex that bad to see someone that consistently? He seems to value love. He is also in early 20s. He initiates all hangouts, if that stands for anything but probably not.