Dear Jenny:

I am not a parent, so your thread is not directed at me, I suppose. I hope parents do answer. It will take great courage for a parent who has or is abusing their child to acknowledge it, to regret it and post here that indeed they did or do. Excellent topic. I for one will come back to your thread, if it is okay with you, later.

anita

Hi Jenny I’m a victim of verbal and emotional abuse, I know my father may never accept the fact that he is abusive. I’m still in the process of accepting and forgiving. I cry myself to sleep some days. My suitcases are packed up, I’m very ready to leave my fathers house and cut ties with him. I went to college at 16 I didn’t even know what I wanted to do at that time, he put so much pressure on me and I ended up choosing something I didn’t like. Fast forward two years in college I slipped into depression and I stopped going to class, I eventually dropped out. Now my father has punished me he says he won’t pay for my college . I hear him talking to my mum about how much money he wasted on me when I was in college those two years. He went on tothe call me a failure and a disappointment but I don’t dwell on his words. I know I am a winner, sometimes I feel sorry for him he is just so angry at the world for nothing. I’ve had just about enough of him talking down on me. I will work two jobs or three to pay for my tuition if he won’t pay and I’m not expecting him to pay anyway. Slowly I hope to cut all ties with him.

My dad never feels remorse for abusing his family. Instead, he’s very eloquent and somehow finds a way to justify his actions. For example, it’s for the sake of the family. I think if I ever heard a sincere apology from him for his abuse, I would forgive him because that’s all I want as his child.

Hi Jenny.

No, I’ve never abused my children. My mom was mentally, emotionally and physically abusive to me. I recall some apologies after a handful of abusive acts but it didn’t stop the abuse. Thankfully (that sounds so horrible but it is how I feel), when she began having health issues her physical abuse stopped. She still apologizes for some things but it has been difficult for me to see it as sincere or truly meant. I always replied; “Its ok”. Because after all of these DECADES, she still hasn’t changed it and I don’t believe she really cares whether I forgive or not.

So I tend to see her apologies now as more of a manipulative tactic. Run me off and when I’m about ready to walk out that preverbial door? Apologize to reel me back in. I question myself on that many times, wondering if I’m being too harsh. If maybe this time …and perhaps the other times as well, she really means it? However. It is difficult to argue a track record.