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Passed Yesterday-

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  • #446345
    anita
    Participant

    Strange: A whole way of my Being- Non-Being, is in the past.

    I am as integrated as I can be. The repressed and suppressed are as expressed as can be.

    I feel no need to talk about my mother. She seems distant now.

    Distance between me and the pain of yesterday.

    I am not complaining about this Loss of Yesterday.

    Still, strange how that pain of the past held a meaning, an identity. There is a sadness in letting it go.

    So, here I am. If it wasn’t for the extent of progress I have made, I would go back right now, back to the old.

    I am far enough on the other side to not go back.

    There is no happiness/ happily-ever-after on the other side. Neither did I expect it to be. There is no problems/ challenges-free anita either.

    Yet, this other side is so much better, a moving on to something different. A “New Life”, the user name I chose here, on tiny buddha 10 years ago, hoping back then for.. A New Life.

    anita

    #446393
    anita
    Participant

    New Life:

    Q: Where does it take place?

    A: In the distance between my two ears.

    Q: What does it mean?

    A: It means, first and foremost, that I am not a bad person.

    Surprise! I didn’t know.

    I thought I had to correct my 5-year-old bad person

    And Earn the Good Label.

    Now, I am the one to give little-girl me the label she deserved all along, that of being a good, loving little girl.

    And then, I take this little, good girl into me. I integrate her into my once disintegrated, fragmented self.

    I want to use this opportunity to thank Alessa for her unending capacity to express empathy for others. Sincerely, I have never come across anyone with this ability, skill and talent.

    And I want to thank Peter for having been persistently, reliably, so honest and peaceful: never confrontational, never threatening, no-exceptions. Thank you, Peter.

    And of course, I want to thank Lori Deschene, the owner of this website and these forums for giving me this space for over ten years. Thank you, Lori!

    And I want to thank all the people who have come and gone, throwing appreciation and kindness my way- Thank You, each and every one of you.

    … Sounds like I am leaving, going somewhere else?

    No, not my intent.

    There is no online format that works for me better than this precious tiny buddha, May 2015- May 2025 and still going and going.

    anita

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