“Why I should I treat her with more respect if I don’t get the same respect back?”- this question is easy to answer: you can’t control how your mil treats your co-sister, but you can control how you treat the co-sister.

Your mil has the right to respond to the co-sister as she wishes; she has no right to control your responses to the co-sister.

No More Unfair Control, says I!

From now on- quiet defiance! No need to argue or be loud- simply do not submit to your mil’s expectations or directions! To thine own self be True! (Shakespeare said that).

It takes courage. But think about it: what’s the worst that can happen if you decide how you respond to co-sister? You’ll have to sleep on a small bed all by yourself when you’re there. lol.. Better that or some sign of others’ disapproval than a heavy, angry (understandably) mind and heart!

Tell her calmly and politely how you are going to respond to co-sister. You might be surprised- she may retreat and not push you. I just wish your husband would be there to support you. But if you have to do it alone- be it..

Take an example from your little one’s defiance.. just do it in a grown-up, mature way.

She got it from you! The Fierceness is within you, I noticed it from the time we first started talking 🔥

The fierceness is in you.. Trust it and it will serve you well!

I know anxiety all too well and I know fear of people, but I am discovering my own fierceness. I am discovering what it means and how to make it work for me (and for others).. And so can you. It takes learning, beginning in “small” ways. I put small in quotations because whenever you assert yourself just right.. there’s nothing small about it.

If you want, we can practice: you be you and I’ll play the part of your manager.. or co-sister or mil.

(I have to leave soon and be back to the computer tonight).

Anita

Remember my last words to you, Zenith: you ARE fierce inside. Trust it. I will miss you.

This place (tiny buddha) is no longer my place. Goodby, Zenith. I will miss you.

Anita