Pits and Ladders: The Game of Living Life

Does anyone remember the game Chutes and Ladders? Life is a lot like that, except the board is you, the pieces are your experiences, and the dice are the eternal, constantly changing now. Or, as we know it, the dice are the marching on of life itself. We all fall into pits. All of us experience moments of doubt, fear, or simply being stuck. The pits can last for hours or years, and sometimes even feel like forever. The caveat is that absolutely no pit is permanent. Each time we find ourselves in one is a chance—a great opportunity—to see how deeply or fully we can be present with it, even if it feels heavy (or a lot heavy).

Let us imagine having a disagreement with a loved one, where everything they say triggers that pain inside. Our thoughts begin to race, our breathing feels squeezed, and our chest tightens. Suddenly, we feel stuck—either in reactivity, anger, or rumination. Those are the pits.

The ladders are the ways out of the pit. They are familiar friends, like a deep breath, nature walks, exercise, or using humor to break the tension. Sometimes the ladders surprise us; they are like a new vantage point emerging out of a quiet pause. Chutes are the tempting shortcuts in life. They are distractions, drugs, and overindulgence in the senses. The chutes are thrilling and feel fast and fun, yet they don’t offer the growth, insight, or connection that ladders offer in the climb.

Let’s imagine the same disagreement with a loved one. Yet this time is different. We can see both our partner and ourselves, and we notice where the communication is heading. We feel the pain arise and the chest tighten, and instead of reacting, we take a deep breath and observe our own and our partner’s feelings without judgment. We respond with calm curiosity. Suddenly, the tension breaks down and dissolves. We see our experience and our beloved’s experience more clearly. That is climbing a ladder; we enact a slow and deliberate extrication, full of insight and endless possibilities.

It is usually when we are in the pits that the chutes become most attractive and tempting. Unlike the child’s game, winning this game means going six feet under! The chutes are great lessons, but our addictions to them will surely put us in the grave quickly. It’s the ladders that truly add more to your life. To pine only for the chutes is to miss the incredible richness of climbing.

Since The Game of Life is already trademarked, we can, for now, call this “Pits and Ladders: The Game of Living Life.” We are the players, and we are the pieces. We are all the collaboration before the game. Remember, it is more important to play fully than to play seriously. Find the ladders that lift you higher and higher. And, above all, enjoy.