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positive thinking help

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Lester 6 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #36583

    jason
    Participant

    Hi everyone. I am new and this is my first post.

    I need help at work. I raise money for volunteer fire fighters. A big part of my job is to go to homes in the fire district and ask people for their support. I like what I do but sometimes the job can really get me down. Lots of rejection, lots of mean people, but the worst are the ones that just dont care. It hurts my heart that so many could care so little about helping fire fighters, fire fighters that risk their lives and don’t get paid for it.
    Today was one of my worst days at work. My first five people were all no’s, and it wasn’t cause they were broke or going through hard times, they were the ones that said: “ I think I will pass” or “im not interested”, and not apologetic about it, they couldn’t care less, this is after I just did my presentation about why we need their support, many of the firefighters are jumping in burning houses with turnouts (fire suits) or SBA’s (breathing apparatus) that are 20 yrs old. But it seems that many could care less if a firefighter lost their life cause their old worn out equipment failed.
    This negativity not only makes me feel terrible, it affects the people I see. On the days that start off good ( and I am in a good mood) it seems like everybody wants to help. And vice versa on the days that start bad, which puts me in a bad mood all day. Once the negativity is in me it causes everyone I see to say no. even though I am smiling and saying the same presentation as I do on the good days.
    I know there will always be these kids of people and nothing will change that, so what can I do to to help myself think about about positive things and not get all bent out of shape dwelling on these selfish money grubbers.

    Thank you

    #36641

    Ella
    Participant

    Hi Jason. A few years ago, whilst raising money for a local animal sanctuary, I found that for every kind hearted soul there were 20 people who really did not care! And, as you have said, dealing with an uncaring person will encourage you to feel more negative and this in turn will affect your mood for the rest of the day. I tended to try focusing purely on that one kind person I would encounter, thinking to myself that if everyday I was able to meet at least one kind person, that would be a good day. If I spent 2 hours dealing only with people who didn’t care, I would still keep up my positive attitude in case the next person I spoke with was that one kind soul! This way I found that I generally kept quite positive and this led to each day being more successful and I would find many more kind folk than just one 🙂

    #36710

    jason
    Participant

    Thanks Ella, thats good thinking. Every day I meet great people. It seems every day I meet one that I get along with so well we talk for 30 min or more. Many times I meet people that are going through very bad times, lose of a loved one or sickness. I try and spend a few min with them and give some kind words. One young lady I met had just lost her job that morning, she was a young single mom with 3 kids and it was a week before Christmas. When I met her she lost it and just started crying. I did my best to offer kind words and listen to her get it out. I like to think I make a difference to these people. I also like to believe I have wisdom and a kind heart, therefore I am above those that care nothing about helping a good cause and I should not let it get me down. But I guess I am human and all the rejections eventually add up and overwhelm me. Understand it is not the rejections that bother me, its the ones that dont care that have so much more than the average person. They are the ones that bother me.

    #36713

    Ella
    Participant

    That’s lovely that you are able to get through to people in your job, I bet so many of them are grateful to have spent some time with somebody who really cares 🙂 and you are right, you are most definitely above those who do not care about helping out a good cause. I also think that those who have more than a lot of people yet do not care tend to lack gratitude for all the things they do have. These types of people will never be truly happy because the happiness they experience is superficial and materialistic. However, the people who experience your kindness will gain so much more and this will stay with them. Whilst this will probably not make you feel better when dealing with the negative types, maybe it’s something to think about?

    #36774

    StraightNoChaser
    Participant

    Hi Jason,
    Try not to take it to personally if people “don’t care”. I think about those poor souls on the street downtown who wait outside malls and restaurants asking people on the street to donate to a charity. Couple blocks down there are people for another one. I think people have become apathetic because were so used to charities.
    Try to think of a “no” as a great thing. As soon as they say no, say “thank you for your time” and move on to the next person. Every person that says no is saving you time so you can spend it on someone who really wants to help you out. Aim for No and you’ll get a Yes. My friend and I were cold calling and for every No we would throw a quarter into a jar. And you know what? we didn’t have a lot of quarters in the end.
    You have a big heart and I agree with Ella 100% , you never really know what people are going through. Maybe those who said No are having a hard day, bless them the most. I know sometimes i have barely enough change to get home and when someone asks me for change (I always give change) i feel like a jerk. They could be feeling awful for not wanting to help.
    “We’re trying to find people who WANT to help donate to our volunteer fire fighters, are you interested or do you know anyone?” Maybe try that speech, most people don’t want to feel left out or useless lol I have a lot of experience with this, its sort of what I do for a living. Also approach larger companies, local businesses and ask them to help you raise money. Maybe put a jar by their cash register. You are dedicating your time to something amazing and everyday remind yourself of that.
    Hope that helped and made some sense.

    #36775

    jason
    Participant

    Ella
    thank you for the reply. I agree, the ones that dont care will never be happy. They can never work enough, make enough money nor acquire enough material possessions. Rather than be upset about these folks I should pity them and be sympathetic to their sickness. And yes, I enjoy reaching out to those that need it.

    #36776

    jason
    Participant

    Jason-
    thank you for the reply. I had the “this is a no” negitive attitude for a few days and it was really causing me to nose dive like crazy. Its a funny bizz. Your attitude is everything . In our world if a guy came on our doorstep frustrated cause all day long no one said yes, I would want to help just to pick up his spirits. But its not like that in the real world. You have to have a happy, confident, almost arrogant attitude. We are taught to lead them to believe that everyone on their street helped and they should to. And they usually do what their neighbors do. Thats what we are taught. I have a different approach. I try and make them laugh and get them to help on account of the desperation and dire straights of the fire dept. which isnt mis leading, these depts rally are just hanging on by a thread and the need for help is very desperate. It works better for me. I have the best closing rate of all I work with, with the exception of my boss but he has been doing it 20 yrs vs my 1 year. I relate well with these folks. I work in rural areas and I am a down home country boy so they are my kind of people. The cocky approach doesn’t suit me and conflicts with my own ethics and virtues.
    “We’re trying to find people who WANT to help donate to our . . . .” thats good thinking , funny cause I already use it in my presentation, different spin but same context.

    I may have a big heart but it is only cause I was raised by great people
    and just to be clear, I have no problem with folks that say no, only those that have so much more than most and couldnt care less about helping the fire fighters. Many of those that say no I stay and visit with if they want to talk.

    #36778

    jason
    Participant

    Thank you all for the help, the last few days at work have been so great. My numbers have been a bit below average but my spirits have been so great. I had a few “i dont cares” even had a guy cuss me out and I just wanted to be even nicer to them. I think the mean guy was drinking. He kept saying we (the fire dept) has been driving down the road non stop with the sirens blazing. I tried to explain that if we were it was cause we were on a call and thats kinda how we do those things. He only got more upset, told me we all could go to hell, and I told him I hate that he was upset and I wish I could help him feel better, thank you for your time. Found out from the neighbor it was an ambulance. Poor guy.

    #36815

    Lester
    Participant

    Jason first of all know that you are a great man for doing what you believe in.

    I’m currently homeless at the moment. I’m living in my car right now waiting for school to start this fall on august. I work part time but I don’t have enough money to afford rent. I choose to eat instead. I’m currently trying to apply for another part time job but so far no bite.

    You see last year I made the decision to move out of my parents house. I decided to leave the safety and comfort of my parents house to go out here and pursue my dreams. Yes as a result, I’m currently homeless, and yes as a result I’m currently broke. But you know what? I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Because although my progress is very little, I know I’m going towards the right direction. Although my improvements are as little as an inch each day, I know that that inch will become a mile someday and I’m willing to go through anything, survive any trials that gets in the way. I’m laying each brick of my life one day at the time. Every morning I get up excited to lay the brick of my life as perfectly as possible because I know, and I can clearly envision it now, my layers of brick of life will someday turn into an indestructable wall of life. It will happen and I will do it.

    Every single day, is a painful rejection i go through. I’ve literary talked to over 80 employers(I’m counting) and so far no one has another part time job for me. Every time I come to work, I try very hard to hide the fact that I’m homeless, and I swallow my pride each day. It is painful yes, but the rewards in the future more than compensates for this.

    Every week my parents and siblings calls me telling me I’m crazy, that I should go back to safety before I hurt myself, that I’m being delusional. But I can taste, feel, see, smell, touch my goals and I know I will be there so no matter what is happening now, it’s just a small obstacle.

    My point is, WHEN YOU HAVE HEART, REJECTION IS NOTHING MORE THAN A NO. When you know what you stand for and know who you really are nobody can put you down. Live by your principles and soon those who disagree with them will not bother you while those you support you will forever be your aquantance.

    My friend, all you have to do is believe in yourself, and know what you value at your very core. I wish you the best!

    http://www.lesterdc.com

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