Hi Harry,

Congratulation on graduating. I think a gap year is best for those who are still searching for the things they truly enjoy or want to do.  It’s a great choice, you also mentioned that you have a sense of emptiness within, it may be because you haven’t found what it is that you truly enjoy, you’ve gone to school and accomplished that goal and now you’re planning on finding a job and figuring out what grad program you want to enter. Though it’s not as exciting because at this point in your life you thought you’d be further than where you are in other aspects of you life.

It’s best for you to process those feelings that you are having and try to understand what it is that you are going through deep within and why you feel the way you do. Once you understand why it is,  you’d be more aware of them and can deal with it head on, instead of distracting yourself and pushing your feeling aside. Happiness is an inside job, the thing is you may have not been able to gain that happiness within because you haven’t dealt with what or whom has hurt you or disappointed you.

What I’ve learned on my journey of self healing and happiness is that I first had to forgive others and myself from either letting me down or leaving me. It can be a daunting task however, it’s a task that’s worth taking on for your peace, happiness and self care.

If you rely on other’s to determine your happiness there’s chances that they will hurt you, because we are only human beings and we do make mistakes, if we put our all in to people to satisfy us we will be left disappoint someday. You seem like a honest and good person. I know everything will work out for you. Try journalizing, or voice recording so that you can look back on how far you’ve came from the place you were once in. Which will be an uplifter and help you be more aware of yourself and emotions.