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Pulling out of an open relationship

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  • #188473
    Connie
    Participant

    Hello all,

    It’s been a while since my last post here. And this time I have a whole new different story.

    Earlier this year (yeah, on the New Year’s day), I met someone. I knew from the very beginning he’s in an open relationship but later I found out he’s actually married.

    We hit it off right away and felt the attraction. Everything was great and we agreed it was only for fun and friendship.

    However, after several meet-ups, both of us started developing feelings for each other. I’d wait for him to text me and sometimes we just chat about life and whatnot. Like I said, he’s a married man. I feel I have to withdraw myself from this “friendship” before things become too serious and complicated.

    We had the “talk” in the past couple of days about our feelings for each other and I am slowly pulling away. He seems to feel that and also becomes quiet.

    Today I didn’t hear from him at all besides a text which was to respond to mine from the day before. Before the “talk” we would usually exchange several texts/pictures everyday. I know this decision is made for the best of both parties but I feel kinda depressed and sad.

    I hope this feeling is only temporary and I will have the urge to stop responding to him if he ever reaches out to me again ( he said he wanted to keep hanging out with me.) I have been trying to do other things and distract myself from thinking about him. I mean I just met this guy literally three weeks ago. Isn’t it too fast to fall for him just yet? I know he’s married and our connection will eventually come to an end. But I just can’t seem to forget about him.

    Any advice will be really helpful.

    • This topic was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by Connie.
    #188525
    Mark
    Participant

    Connie,

    You are right by not going down a road where there is no winning.  Why do you want to develop a relationship with someone who is married?  He is out of integrity.  There is more to a good relationship beyond having “feelings” for each other.

    You are right in taking care of yourself by not having more contact with him.  You are adhering to your own values. Move on.

    Mark

    #188531
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Connie,

    I’m curious whether the wife knew they were in an open relationship LOL.

    “Open relationships” and “polyandry” is a fad. Don’t fall for it.

    At any rate, stop sending texts and pics.

    Best,

    Inky

    #188567
    Inky
    Participant

    edit: polyamoury

    #188557
    Erin
    Participant

    Connie:

     

    Don’t allow yourself to succumb to temptation and a false idea of a fairy tail.  Every time you think of this man, remember that he is married.  If you get involved with someone who has committed themselves to another, you are playing with fire.  In other words no matter how perfect he may seem – what you’re not realizing is that he is a “bottom feeder”  Anyone who would step out of their committed relationship for “fun and friendship” is not only betraying their partner – they are betraying you too!  Don’t fall for it!  With the chemistry you describe it is better to keep moving.  Just think of all the heartache and regret you will have avoided by aligning yourself with someone who is open and truly available.

     

    Don’t waste your time girl!

     

    Erin

    #188829
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Connie:

    You feel emotionally attached to a man you met three  weeks ago, and you feel sad and you felt “kinda depressed and sad” yesterday when you didn’t hear from him other than one text.

    In a July 25 thread last year you wrote: “I tend to be really depressed in the  morning  after  I  wake  up… everything starts fresh the next day. It’s a loop that  I can never get  out  of”-

    The “kinda depressed” feeling of yesterday, is  it the same depression you referred to last year? If so, do you remember when this depression started  in your life, that loop you “can never get  out  of”?

    anita

     

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