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Pure coincidence?

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  • August 1, 2014 at 4:52 pm #62426
    ALN
    Participant

    About a week ago, I ran into my most recent love interest. Well, I’m actually still interested, but unfortunately, it cannot be (unrequited love), so I decided to go no contact with her in January of this year in order to have time and space to be able to heal. Prior to this encounter, for some reason I felt the universe pull me to go to the market to pick some stuff up. There was no need to, but something inside me told me that I had to go, which is a bit funny because all I really needed was some coffee creamer and mouthwash. I dragged myself out of the house to go. Figured I could pick up some beer too so that the errand run was a bit more worthwhile. And there she was, talking to her friend in the middle of the parking lot. My heart skipped a beat. I had been thinking about her a lot and I missed her greatly. We ran errands together, caught up on a few things and had some ice cream. She said she missed me. I told her I missed her too. It was nice. And that was that.

    Anyways, it was just so weird how that happened. I understand that there is nothing between us, but for some reason I just felt that there were greater powers at work here that brought us together that evening. I don’t want to look into this too deeply or feel that this was some divine occurrence for us to reconnect romantically because I’ve done too much work on myself to put my emotions back into that basket. I just wanted to get your guys’ thoughts on coincidence vs fate. Maybe share some of your stories on the subject. Does everything really happen for a reason?

    August 1, 2014 at 10:23 pm #62435
    Matt
    Participant

    Allan,

    Everything I know of happens for a reason(s), but I don’t see it as “meaningful”, more as “in tune”. My teacher called it auspicious coincidence, favorable moments. When we feel a heartfelt call and act, we often find things aligning. It doesn’t mean she’s destined to be a romance, more likely to show you how strong you’ve become, how peaceful. Its good not to throw emotions in a basket, we need them. 🙂

    Said differently, it sounds like you had a nice day. Maybe simply be grateful it went well? Much more than that might just open wounds that are still fresh, tender. Consider that if you keep on with the self growth, you’ll be better prepared when the time comes, no matter who your dance partner happens to be.

    Namaste, brother, may your equanimity grow rich from all your wonderful efforts.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    August 3, 2014 at 6:26 pm #62549
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Allan,

    I like your statement about having put so much into your personal growth, and that you don’t want to risk it. And, keep going as Matt said.

    If you go in there down the road in the future without getting emotional that could be another good test. Also not going again would be good, too. You are free to grow, experience your emotions and find your way.

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 3 months ago by Big blue.
    August 4, 2014 at 12:56 pm #62603
    ALN
    Participant

    Matt and Big Blue,

    Thanks so much for your insight. I like the perspective of this encounter being a sort of test to show me how far I’ve come personally. But in a way, it’s made things harder because I miss her even more now. I will just have to take this as another challenge to overcome on my path to healing. Maybe this was meant to make me stronger.

    August 4, 2014 at 1:24 pm #62610
    Anonymous
    Participant

    I find it is best for me when I am of service to others. I find it is not best for me when I concentrate on my own wants and desires. Actually the source of my unhappiness is a desire not met.

    Ok what does all that have to do with your situation? Do you make her happy “in that way” ? (you know what I mean :)) Are you what she wants?

    If the answer is no that may help you let her go in that way.

    August 4, 2014 at 1:38 pm #62614
    ALN
    Participant

    I don’t understand what you are trying to say? I don’t know what makes her happy and I don’t know what she wants. Only she knows that. All I know is that this sorta psuedo relationship we have had going on for the past couple of years has been emotionally draining to me and I am moving on. I accept full responsibility for letting it get to that point, but it doesn’t change the fact that I miss her.

    August 4, 2014 at 1:44 pm #62615
    Anonymous
    Participant

    I am sorry I made an assumption when you said unrequited love that you told her you wanted more and she didn’t. I was was wrong I apologize.

    August 4, 2014 at 1:58 pm #62616
    ALN
    Participant

    Hey no need to apologize. You’re right. Things ended the way they did because she didn’t want what I wanted.

    August 4, 2014 at 2:02 pm #62617
    Anonymous
    Participant

    No problem. I did not do the best job making my point. A bit too accusatory on my part I think.

    August 4, 2014 at 4:27 pm #62622
    Big blue
    Participant

    Allan –

    Right on!
    To what you said about getting stronger.
    As some here would say this thing was a teacher for you.
    Learning used well does make us stronger in some way.
    You rock!

    Big blue

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