August 20, 2013 at 5:51 pm #40861HaveLipsWillSmileParticipant
I am a brand new member to this site and after trawling the web for some ‘answers’, was so absolutely excited to find Tiny Buddha with it’s broad range of knowledge, advice and experiences.
I am 26 years old and in the last fortnight, I have had some life-changing realisations. At this point, they are all in idea-phase and I am here to learn how to practically and effectively implement them into my life.
I have spent the last 16 years being a very bitter, spiteful and negative person after having ‘lost’ my mum to a very controlling and manipulative step-father. I must point out, my mum is still alive but I have lost her in all senses of what a mother should be. I was very angry for a long time that she would abandon her children emotionally so she could have a sense of security herself, and I truly believed that I could never have a relationship with her until SHE changed.
But, this last fornight, I’ve started seeing a new therapist who very cleverly planted the following ideas in my head:
1. Let it go. You must learn to forgive in order to move forward. Forgetting isn’t as important but if you learn to accept and acknowledge your feelings about what’s happened in the past, you’re going to feel much better.
2. Control your inner-critic. This was a concept completely foreign to me but when I started to actually listen to my inner-voice and understand how critical and negative she was being, it was mind-blowing to know that without controlling her, there was no way I was ever going to feel better about myself.
3. Choose happiness. Happiness seems to be this elusive, fleeting feeling that we may get moments at a time but I never knew that it was our own choice to be happy. By changing the way you think, we are much more open to be happy.
So, now I am at the stage where I need the tools, the outlets and the support to implement the above. I have decided that Buddhism may be a great place to start as the principles really appeal to me. I am seeing the director at the local Buddhism centre to learn about the foundations of Buddhism in the hope it resonates with me and I can put the principles into practice.
I also need to get to know myself again. I find it really hard to explain to people who I am without giving the whole “my name is ____, I work ____, I have this many animals” etc. I don’t know what I really like, I don’t know what drives me, I don’t know what my passions or my goals are.
Seems like I have a lot of work ahead of me and I’m so excited I have found this community to guide me and hopefully support me along the way.
I will keep you all posted on my progress!
KAugust 21, 2013 at 3:38 am #40897Buddhist WifeParticipant
Good luck Kristy, I look forward to hearing more about how you are getting on.August 21, 2013 at 7:44 am #40906luciaParticipant
That is awesome Kristy! Not a lot of people are willing to take that first step to acknowledge and do the self-discovery. You’ve got some great insight. Keep it up! 🙂August 21, 2013 at 5:48 pm #40942HaveLipsWillSmileParticipant
Thanks both, I am just glad I’ve had these realisations now and not many years down the track.
I am still blown away constantly learning new perspectives and ways to see the world. It’s addictive and eye-opening and I’m having a lot of ‘ah-ha’ moments. I’m loving it so far.
Keep you posted!