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Regrets, attachments, aversions, sorrow

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Viewing 15 posts - 46 through 60 (of 69 total)
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  • #412824
    anita
    Participant

    Dear gettingHealthy:

    Good afternoon to you, getting Healthy and congrats for the new screen name!

    “Standing on my feet for an hour or more causes me severe physical pain and leads to flare ups of my Crohn’s disease, and therefore jobs that require this would reduce my lifespan and radically increase my physical suffering. Meanwhile, most entry level desk jobs would exacerbate my bipolar depression and anxiety. Being jobless, I manage to keep all three conditions in remission”- you identified 3 health issues.

    You then shared that you wish to enter a healthy relationship, one where you will help your partner, your family, society at large and the environment.

    Without a partner, the career that would be easiest for me to attain and be able to perpetually pursue, would be doing sexual acts on a webcam for people who would pay me. I do not fancy this career path“- did you already perform sexual acts on a webcam for people: is it something that although you don’t fancy, you found it very easy to do?

    Otherwise, there’s true Buddhist monkhood, which truly tempts me… Barring that, I could try to be a life coach… What are your thoughts on these matters?“- in line with my question above, do you have any experience acting like a life coach for anyone, and what is your experience with Buddhism?

    anita

    #412827
    gettingHealthy
    Participant

    I have never been on a webcam except for when seeing doctors. I don’t fancy it; however, my sexual stamina is very high, which would make it at least a feasible option. This is something that is uncommon for me, I at least don’t have sexual sensation, it doesn’t contribute directly to other’s physical health problems or my own like so many ordinary jobs do (even working at a grocery store one sells liquor), and physical pleasure actually reduces my physical symptoms by reducing inflammation in the intestines and throughout the body.

    I have never been a life coach but find it easy to help people psychologically and emotionally online. Regarding Buddhism, I have been able to partially follow all but the fifth precept, the abstaining from intoxicants. Buddhist monks, whose talks are free on youtube, whose discussions are free online, who right cheap books, and Buddhist laypeople and communities time and again have reduced my suffering more than any therapist or psychiatrist managed to do. I simply question my ability to renounce sexuality and psychoactive substances. If it were not for these to hindrances, which are effectively equal for me, I would have only mild difficulty acting as a monk.

    I would most like to simply be supported for who I am without having to give out favors, ideally on my own at least for a time to get to know myself, but perhaps with a partner. For me it’s just a question of whether or not I expect or at least desire too much out of a relationship.

    #412828
    gettingHealthy
    Participant

    *don’t have in the first paragraph should be don’t hate

    #412830
    gettingHealthy
    Participant

    Also, reviewing you statement on my desires in a relationship, I don’t sound nearly as greedy as I fear myself to be when unchecked. This actually does seem like the best course of action for me, if undertaken with due caution, sincerity, honesty, compassion, and expectations. Your responses help me to take some of the excessive judgement I give myself away, and for that I thank you deeply and sincerely.

    #412831
    anita
    Participant

    Dear gettingHealthy:

    Physical pleasure actually reduces my physical symptoms by reducing inflammation in the intestines and throughout the body“- it may be that it is not that physical pleasure reduces your inflammation, but that pleasurable physical sensations distract you from the uncomfortable physical sensations of inflammation by removing your focus from physical discomfort=> physical pleasure. If you learn to distract yourself in non-sexual ways (through a mindfulness practice), you may experience more breaks from discomfort through the day.

    I have never been a life coach but find it easy to help people psychologically and emotionally online… Buddhist laypeople and communities time and again have reduced my suffering more than any therapist or psychiatrist managed to do. I simply question my ability to renounce sexuality and psychoactive substances. If it were not for these to hindrances, which are effectively equal for me, I would have only mild difficulty acting as a monk“- maybe you can become an online life coach who helps others, and yourself, using some (not all) of the Buddhist principles.

    anita

    #412834
    gettingHealthy
    Participant

    Regarding physical and emotional pleasure and its effects on inflammation (which is a surprisingly large topic), it does distract from it, however, the neurochemical changes and vagus nerve stimulation the type of which is caused by the sexual activities I enjoy actually does reduce inflammation. This is largely due to increases in the neurotransmitters anandamide and dopamine which have direct anti-inflammatory effects, as well as increasing serotonin, norepinephrine, and endorphins, which reduce the stress response, the stress response being a major contributor to inflammation. These benefits can be obtained in many other ways; however, none so far have been both compatible and effective for me with physical labor. In addition, sexual activity is dynamic, whereas many entry level physical jobs such as restaurant work involve much standing in place, which irritate my guts dramatically mor than dynamic physical activity, which involve motion, as sexual activity does. In addition, as gross as it is to say, anal stimulation directly stimulates the vagus nerve, inducing relaxation, reducing stress, and lowering inflammation. Ultimately, any enjoyable activity (even eating dark chocolate, sexuality is not an important factor) which does not directly harm the gut, improves the course of crohn’s disease.

    All that aside, becoming a life coach is feasible for me as well, especially incorporating those principles, from Buddhism and elsewhere that have helped me.

    But the way you summed up my desires in a relationship helped me realize it’s not unethically selfish for me to want to have a partner and have them support me financially. I can work to make a small income on the side, but if I’m open and honest while searching for a partner, I should one day be able to find someone who genuinely is happy to care for me in the ways I have a hard time doing, while I care for them and others, making it a win-win. I believe after some consideration that this is the best course of action for me to pursue.

    #412835
    gettingHealthy
    Participant

    Also, as examples of the first point, open awareness, jhanas, mindfulness and loving kindness also can reduce inflammation over time, they just are less conducive to producing an income.

    #412836
    gettingHealthy
    Participant

    In addition, rubbing the ears, and deep breathing also stimulate the vagus nerve, neither sexual nor anal stimulation are necessary for this.

    #412838
    anita
    Participant

    Dear gettingHealthy:

    The neurochemical changes…  caused by the sexual activities I enjoy actually does reduce inflammation“- from what I read, the endorphins released during sex are natural painkillers (not anti-inflammatories); it is the increased blood circulation during sex that decreases inflammation. (But I will not be surprised if sex otherwise reduces inflammation).

    Open awareness, jhanas, mindfulness and loving kindness can also reduce inflammation over time“- good practices and another good reason to practice these things! “rubbing the ears“- couldn’t hurt.

    But the way you summed up my desires in a relationship helped me realize it’s not unethically selfish for me to want to have a partner and have them support me financially… if I’m open and honest while searching for a partner, I should one day be able to find someone who genuinely is happy to care for me in the ways I have a hard time doing, while I care for them…making it a win-win… this is the best course of action for me to pursue“- I agree and am impressed that you came up with this truth!!!

    I will soon take a break from the computer, see you tomorrow!

    anita

    #412839
    gettingHealthy
    Participant

    You are right, endorphins mostly reduce pain, but blood circulation, movement, lowered stress response, and the body’s own “Cannabis” anandamide (which is powerfully anti-inflammatory), which is also released, also reduce inflammation. A reasonable sex life has many health benefits for most people.

    Anyways, they are excellent practices (the meditative ones) and are indeed great to pursue, I mostly pursue open awareness and loving kindness at this time, which have eliminated my panic attacks.

    Also, thanks for the agreement on finding a partner, most people look down on you if you want finacial support. Talk to you tomorrow also, good evening.

    #412840
    anita
    Participant

    Dear gttingHealthy:

    You are welcome. I definitely do not look down on you for thinking about having a partner who will financially support you, within the context of a win-win relationship! Good to read that you pursue open awareness and loving kindness and that it eliminated your panic attacks! (This is a great testimony to the effects of these healthy practices!). Thank you, have a good evening yourself, and talk to you tomorrow.

    anita

    #412966
    anita
    Participant

    Happy- Healthy New Year, gettingHealthy, and good night!

    anita

    #413312
    gettingHealthy
    Participant

    Happy new year to you too! Sorry for such a long time between posts. I’m going to start dieting soon.

    #413313
    gettingHealthy
    Participant

    I need to find a new vice until I’m better at mindfulness, as when I don’t overeat, I want to do something else instead. When I originally lost my weight, I used a lot of cannabis and drank a lot of coffee, but I can’t do that anymore, and alcohol has calories. I do chew nicotine gum, maybe I’ll use that.

    #413325
    anita
    Participant

    Dear gettingHealthy:

    Nicotine gum keeps the nicotine level in your blood up while you are in the process of quitting smoking. Find a mindfulness practice that is easier for you than other practices: maybe listening/ viewing online audios or videos of mindfulness guided meditations will work for you..?

    anita

Viewing 15 posts - 46 through 60 (of 69 total)

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