- This topic has 68 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 11 months ago by Anonymous.
December 28, 2022 at 9:41 am #412763
Alright, thank you for letting me know. I always have a lot on my mind, so I might sometimes go overboard sometimes when I find someone good to talk to.December 28, 2022 at 9:44 am #412764AnonymousGuest
You are welcome, levi. You didn’t go overboard at all; it’s just that I want to reply to two threads from 2 days ago before I return to you.
anitaDecember 28, 2022 at 9:57 am #412765
Ok, cool. Have a good time 🙂December 28, 2022 at 11:05 am #412771AnonymousGuest
I am sorry to read that your family is not supportive of you, other than financially, so it seems.
“I have mixed feelings on porn, without it, I would lack any significant outlet for my sexuality which could make me desperate enough to tolerate an unhealthy relationship just for access to sexual stimulation“- the way you explain it, it looks like porn provides you with an advantage, but porn also contributes to your feelings of shame, and shame is a disadvantage.
“Although, due to exploitation in the porn industry, I wish to switch to drawn and animated porn“- how about good old imagination/ fantasy?
anitaDecember 28, 2022 at 11:27 am #412772
My family’s a bit of a mixed bag as far as support goes. But thanks for your condolences.
There are many advantages with porn, however there are also downsides/disadvantages. This is certain.
Going from where I am to just imagination would be very difficult and take a very long time, and I’d feel like I was denying myself for the rest of my life, most likely. Introducing a far greater degree of moderation, however, is definitely necessary. It’s something I shouldn’t have to be ashamed of in the first place, I believe. Yet I will put in effort to dilute this karma.
Otherwise, the most effective ways for me to quit would be to renounce sexuality altogether and either live like a monk, or become a monk, or enter a healthy relationship, which I don’t know how to do, and may be difficult due to my financial disadvantages.December 28, 2022 at 11:54 am #412775AnonymousGuest
“There are many advantages with porn, however there are also downsides/disadvantages. This is certain… Introducing a far greater degree of moderation, however, is definitely necessary“- I am impressed with your balanced and flexible thinking!
“Otherwise, the most effective ways for me to quit would be to… enter a healthy relationship“- taking into consideration the advantage of your healthy, balanced and flexible thinking, I see hope in you entering a healthy relationship!
anitaDecember 28, 2022 at 11:59 am #412776
Thank you, balance and flexibility are things I’ve been working on cultivating over the years. It would be nice to enter a healthy relationship, it just seems very difficult to find and identify the right person.December 28, 2022 at 12:04 pm #412779AnonymousGuest
You are welcome and thank you for your balanced and flexible thinking: the world needs more of it!
“It just seems very difficult to find and identify the right person“- imagine someone who is quite right, wishing to meet someone like you!
anitaDecember 28, 2022 at 12:15 pm #412783
I know they’re out there, it’s just so hard to find people and to be sure, there are so many unkind people who act kind when you first meet them out there. There are many people who like to take advantage of others. As well as myself ending up with greed when I go looking, because how do I know I’ve found the right one? I want someone who can gladly support me when I need support and give me space when I need space. Who doesn’t deny my experience of reality, yet who doesn’t fail to challenge it when it’s a little off. I don’t even know where to begin to be honest, though I should probably start by making ordinary friends first in order to develop social skills and have safety in numbers, I guess.December 28, 2022 at 12:38 pm #412786AnonymousGuest
“there are so many unkind people who act kind when you first meet them… I should probably start by making ordinary friends first in order to develop social skills“- yes, friends first so to develop in-person social skills and so to get to know a person thoroughly before considering a love relationship.
anitaDecember 28, 2022 at 12:40 pm #412787AnonymousGuest
* We can continue our discussion tomorrow, have a good rest of the day!
anitaDecember 28, 2022 at 12:45 pm #412788
You too! Also, you are really good at summation without distortion.December 28, 2022 at 12:48 pm #412789AnonymousGuest
Thank you, levi! See you tomorrow!
anitaDecember 29, 2022 at 10:46 am #412822
So, I’ve changed my username to reflect less on my family. Anyways, I want to bring up the huge problem that I hate most jobs, almost all of them, that people can get without many years of education or physical/mental endurance I do not have due to various health conditions. Standing on my feet for an hour or more causes me severe physical pain and leads to flare ups of my Crohn’s disease, and therefore jobs that require this would reduce my lifespan and radically increase my physical suffering. Meanwhile, most entry level desk jobs would exacerbate my bipolar depression and anxiety. Being jobless, I manage to keep all three conditions in remission.
I wish to enter a relationship where my physical and psychological “needs”, as far as anyone needs anything beyond basic survival no matter how miserable, are taken care of. I consider this to involve; allowing me to help others, allowing me to help the environment, allowing me to help myself, allowing me to help my partner. my family, society, and to write, pursue science, study, literature, and art. Without a partner, the career that would be easiest for me to attain and be able to perpetually pursue, would be doing sexual acts on a webcam for people who would pay me. I do not fancy this career path. Otherwise, there’s true Buddhist monkhood, which truly tempts me, though I don’t know at all if I could 100% permanently rid myself of orgasm, which would expel me from the monkhood. If only we could try our best, and accept our occasional failures while remaining as monks, it would be perfect for me with the right sangha.
Barring that, I could try to be a life coach, try to crowdfund major things in my life, or star a website or youtube channel, or become a writer. Whilst I’ve been looking towards web design/development, I hate the type of work in the field, it’s very much an opposite of how my mind works in general. My family wants me to pursue it because it’s practical, though they’ve said they won’t kick me out while they’re alive, albeit I only 95% trust that. I hate the idea of it, whether I should allow myself to or not. I just hate what most jobs do to me physically and mentally, yet I feel it’s unlikely and unfair to expect to find someone who can support me in the ways I’d like to be supported. What are your thoughts on these matters?December 29, 2022 at 10:47 am #412823
Also, Good afternoon (as it is here) anita!