Dear Seth,
I’d suggest “in Spite” of your Dads Self-Anger. (Try alone), in good space – Dad I,m sorry for your disappointments, I Love you Regardless! Next! ~ Look in Mirrow & Speak Dad I Love You !

Thanks Lone Wolf and Big Blue.

Hey Seth

I am sorry that you find yourself in this state but hey, all of us go through this in our early years. Fortunately, you are brave enough to look for solutions to this issue, while many others leave the world without coming to a resolve and the cycle continues.

I will provide my perspective in the hope that it will resonate with you at some point in life 🙂

You may feel that you are judging Dad and perhaps a little too harshly. But it is not really Dad that you are judging. You are telling us about your inner conflict and battle with your own emotions. Dad is just the projector for your emotions that you need to get past. Hey, can you please be kind to Seth ?

Dad is dad. Seth is Seth. You are 2 different individuals with different conditioning. He is living his life the way he has learnt to and there is nothing wrong with that. You are living your existence as you wish to. Where does the question of wrong or correct come into the picture ? How do you know that what he is doing or projecting is the wrong way and how do you know that your feelings are correct ?

The whole problem in our relationships start to occur when our beliefs start to clash with others. But no one can truly tell us that either of you are wrong or right, can they ? It is just a matter of perspective. No matter how thin a slice you cut, there are 2 sides to the slice. This principle applies to us also.

Can you try and see the positives in Dad instead of negatives ? Because if you are able to do that, your resentment will take a back seat. And most importantly, your relationship will improve and you will rise to a higher level of consciousness. It will be a win win in all directions.

We cant change Dad today or ever. We cant change anyone else today or ever. This is an universal law. Sooner, we start to appreciate it, the better it gets for US. The only person who can change and evolve is ME (Seth). You have a choice: You can spend your entire life trying to change this universal law or try to resist it but you will not win OR you can let go of your negativity towards self and Dad and march forward with love and respect. And I can guarantee this from my own experience that once we change for the better, the world around us transforms automatically. Hate and resentment converts to acceptance for self and every other thing or person on this beautiful planet.

So what do you need to do to embark on self journey ? Start with self-acceptance. You are awesome as you are and so is everyone else. Improve in areas that need work and let go of need to work / change others. Soon your lesson 2 will arrive 🙂

Loads of positive energy coming your way and may your relationship with self / dad improve.

Jasmine

Hey Seth,

Each situation is entirely different – but as someone who is of a similar age to you in the very similar situation of living at home while studying and too having a father that is often more like an alien to me – I thought I might share with you some personal insights of mine about tricky relationships in general that I’ve found work when applied to even people as close in proximity to you as your Dad.

Take the emotion out of the interaction if interaction is decidedly negative!

When my father is being unreasonable, it’s so easy to feel a massive internal pool of disdain towards all he is saying and profess that through words I may come to regret… The reality is that if a situation to you is frustrating, the most likely answer is that while objectively it may still be unreasonable or irritating – for whatever reason, moral or deep-seated issue, somewhere in your father’s mind is the idea that that is a perfectly fine way to act at that particular time and place… What conflict comes to you as a result of your father is probably the intrinsic human instinct kicking in that is constantly trying to decipher and understand situations – particularly those that are of a communicative nature. So stop trying Seth!

Run through some questions mentally the next time your dad is making you especially frustrated…
Do I understand where he is coming from?
If the answer is yes appreciate your instinct to stand ground but back off and let it go…
If the answer is no… try to understand where he is coming from, verbally if needs be, then if it still won’t budge and trying to make it do so will only further worsen the issue…
You and your father are separate humans and so have separate minds, it’s frustrating having such a differently wired mind to the man who was one of two parts in making you but it’s not the end of the world.
Let. It. Go.

You don’t understand what he’s on about. You don’t understand why he thinks its okay to act that way. Soo.. he does not deserve the privilege of evoking your emotions at that particular time. Accept your confusion and emotionally DETACH from that situation.
“Ok then Dad.”
Using slight passive aggression and actively making the effort to mentally release yourself from that negative emotional labyrinth and directing your focus elsewhere is SO LIBERATING.

The reality is that you may never understand your dad or why he does the things he does, but breaking the negatively charged bond between his bad qualities and your emotions now will improve whatever relationship you may have now and long-term.
From resisting to need to critique and be emotionally affected by him will allow you to take a step back and maybe even see some good qualities that were hard to see under the bad, before.

Hi Seth!
So sorry to hear you are in a situation which to you, seems as if there is no way out, and you probably feel stuck. I have an idea of what you are feeling because I too have felt that way before with certain people in my life, whom I physically had to be around more than I wanted. What helps me when I start feeling this way is to remember a couple things. One, it’s okay that you don’t like him. That doesn’t make you a bad person, if that has at all crossed your mind. I know I can sometimes get into that mindset, thinking similar thoughts.
Try to remember that everything is ENERGY and more than likely your energy and soul aren’t vibe’n with his. And that’s ok. The more you fight it and focus on the fact that you hate begin around him, the more intensified it’s going to get bc you’re putting all of your mental energy into it. So try and catch your negative thoughts about him, and refocus them onto something else, more positive.
I also remember that every person and situation in our life is a lesson for us to learn. He is one of your most important teachers at this time. The hardest situations in our life are the the biggest lessons our soul needs to learn. Try to keep in mind that every single person on earth is doing the BEST they can at their current consciousness level. You never know what is going on within a person to make them act out, etc.
If you have trouble seeing your dad in a loving light, a good exercise is to focus on something that makes your heart feel warm, whether it be another person, a pet, a project, a place, anything. Focus on that feeling of love and caring. Then, once you’re sitting with that feeling, bring your dad into your mind. And see your dad, whilst mentally sending him that love from your heart to his heart. You can even do this when he is around, even while he is being a jerk, etc. Mentally send him love. Honestly, he is making you a more loving and forgiving person. Like I said, he is your greatest teacher. But whatever you do, go easy on yourself and even if you have 1 time during the day where you held love in your heart for him, even for a second, that is a huge accomplishment.
I’m not sure if you know who Pema Chodron is, but her books are amazing and extremely helpful. Here’s a link to her books and audio books http://www.shambhala.com/authors/a-f-1/pema-chodron.html and see if any resonate with you. Every single one I have ever read has helped me immensely…that and getting into meditation, which may help you too. Take care, take a deep breath and be easy on yourself~