Dear Alessa:

(Is “Dear” okay with you..?)

“Do you think Yana or Brandy might feel unsafe too? It was suggested for you to speak directly to people if you have any issues with them. Why do you think that might be? Could it hurt people not being spoken to directly?… I felt unsafe while the conflict was going on too. ❤️ I know that it hurt Tee and I when we were ignored and not spoken too directly.”-

I didn’t realize (wasn’t aware) yesterday that I was not only speaking to you, Alessa (directly), but that I was speaking indirectly to Jana and to Brandy.

Tee explained to me very well (above) the nature of a public forum and I hope that I truly understand the problem in referring to any member (not just to you and to Tee) indirectly. I think that at this very moment, I fully understand that it’s wrong and unwise and why it is so.

I apologize, Jana and Brandy for talking about you indirectly. I apologize to you, Alessa, for talking about Jana and Brandy indirectly in your thread, placing you in an uncomfortable situation. Thank you, Alessa for bringing this up. ❤️

In my next post I will be speaking directly to Jana and to Alessa.

🌿 Anita

I am preparing a response for you, Alessa, as well as directly addressing Jana and Brandy, all in separate posts.

Dear Jana:

I read all of your recent posts. One thing that I have a problem with is that your communication has been consistently vague and indirect. In regard to your most recent post in your thread “Compassion and respect during times of conflict”- I think you were talking to Alessa when using “you”. At first I thought you were talking to me. How can I respond to you when I don’t know whom you are addressing?

In the post before that one, you wrote that you will no longer accept or tolerate (1) gaslighting, (2) blaming or guilt-tripping, (3) belittling members’ pain or feelings, or (4) monitoring others (copying their threads and using them later against them).

Are you accusing me of doing all of these things? Are you accusing others as well..?

If you are accusing me of gaslighting you, can you give me just one concrete example where you felt that I gaslighted you? If you are accusing me of blaming and guilt tripping you, can you give me just one concrete example? Etc.?

If you are direct with me, I assure you it will pay out for you. I will reply kindly and honestly.

What’s clear to me is that you’ve been feeling hurt and stressed and I am very sorry that you’ve been feeling this way. I will continue to take responsibility for what I’ve been guilty of, but not for what I haven’t.

But at this point, I need to know concretely, what you are accusing me, in simple language.,. so that I can understand.. Please?

I will do my best to promote safety in this thread and everywhere else.

🌿 Anita

I am trying to understand your point, Alessa: The content of the quote (what Brandy wrote) was not “public shaming” of me? It’s me addressing her post (as part of the direct communication that you advocated for), that’s public shaming?

🌿 Anita

Dear Alessa:

In general, I understand your point, it’s a good point. You know what? I’ll stop quoting members, here and elsewhere, see how that works.

🌿 Anita