Hi Tiny ones.

So there’s this girl.
We’re friends. Or, were.
We met and abroad and three months together there before each returning to our own home country. At that time I was a self-confessed mess so wasn’t out, she was straight. I told her I liked her a few months after we got back from our travels, her reply was positive but ambiguous. In February she told me she’d had a sexuality-epiphany and found herself liking girls. In respect to our friendship, I didn’t just jump on her. Plus, I’ve never been in a relationship and I was depressed – I wasn’t really in the place even though I wanted to be, and I was scared to tell her. But I kept in contact, and messaged her maybe more than I should. It gave me some comfort when I felt very lonely.
Then a couple of months ago I visited her and she’d just got a new long-distance girlfriend. I still told her that I still like her because I didn’t want to hide anything from our friendship. I really value her as a friend, even though I’m aware that I message much more. When she’s there, she’s worth every non-message.
The thing is, before I visited she was messaging a lot and told me how much she missed me and cared about me and was so excited to see me.
Then I got there, and yeah I know I was hell-of anxious and she was at work for really long hours but.. she didn’t seem interested in spending any time with me without me looking for it or doing anything special- so I felt needy and ended up staying much longer than planned just in the hope we’d get back that friendship. I asked her about it and she told me she was sorry that she just wasn’t thinking about me (ouch), but then she said she’d miss me too. It was so confusing.
I’ve never really had friends that I felt that connected too either, so I really am in alien territory.
It really hurt because she began to say things like “when people are in love with someone they have hope in their minds” when I hugged her, and “under the circumstances”, I thought she knew me better than that.

Now I don’t know what to do. I know she’s pushing me away, or at least not contacting me, but for some reason I still care. I don’t want to lose our friendship. We’d talked about travelling together and everything, now it’s like nothing else matters apart from her girlfriend. I just want her to know I don’t have bad intentions… I don’t mind her talking about her girlfriend, losing a friend hurts so much more than losing her as a girlfriend.