Home→Forums→Relationships→Seeking clarity about a relationship
- This topic has 154 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 13 hours, 52 minutes ago by
anita.
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October 13, 2025 at 12:22 pm #450891
anitaParticipant* My 2nd post (“I want to add: when we suppress our emotions, trying not to feel them, they tend to explode or overwhelm us.. sort of demanding their 3rd dimension/ their space”), that was meant for another member, Q. I mistakenly posted it in your thread…
Back to you in a few hours, Going Through Life!
Anita
October 13, 2025 at 5:13 pm #450894anitaParticipantDear Going Through Life:
If I had read your whole post before leaving the computer, your request for words of comfort, I would have found the time earlier 😔
Thank you for your empathy, friend. You are a good person 🙏. I am fine now, in this regard.
I think that yours and E’s choices in regard to SS & E are wise.
Yes, I do think that you can attract good mates, have fun relationships and a good career.. nothing perfect, but good-enough. Just keep being honest and courageous. Gradually reveal yourself with new people as you get to know them patiently. No rushing in these matters. One Step At A Time.
🤍🌿 Anita
October 15, 2025 at 6:26 pm #450961
GoingThroughLifeParticipantDear Anita. Thank you for your kind words, I’m ever so grateful to you.
Yes, we took the right decision. SS and me went on trips and I really miss her and the memories we made. Sometimes during the day I feel lost and feel like crying missing her, I will have to push through this.
SD tried calling me yesterday too but I chose to ignore, I cant give more of ny energy to her right now.
I hope you’re well too dear Anita. Hoping for your reply soon.
Goingthroughlife
October 15, 2025 at 6:57 pm #450962anitaParticipantDear Going Through Life:
You are welcome, and thank you for.. being you!
You deserve something better than what you had with SS, something more mature, more trustworthy, something you can rest in, feeling safe.
💞🫱🫲🤍🌿 Anita
October 16, 2025 at 8:37 am #450977GoingThroughLifeParticipantDear Anita, thank you.
It just hurts to think that’s she must be getting physical with someone else, someone she doesn’t know, doesn’t have a connection with. Maybe people, some women are just like that (sorry if I’m sounding sexist, I know the same applies to many men too).
Any advice?
Hoping for you reply soon.
Goingthroughlife
October 16, 2025 at 12:02 pm #450982anitaParticipantDear Going Through Life:
I wish I could remove those thoughts and images of her being with others from your mind. Are these thoughts frequent.. ?
🤍🌿 Anita
October 18, 2025 at 8:30 am #451038anitaParticipantHow are you, Going Through Life?
October 18, 2025 at 8:37 am #451039GoingThroughLifeParticipantDear Anita, thank you for your message. I am good, how are you?
Sorry I did not reply to your previous message. I don’t want to think or discuss SS physical things with someone else.
Even I need that physical affection but for the time being I have decided to work on my dreams, like my body and career and much more. I have also decided that I won’t meet someone new at least through a dating app, and I need to put myself out there. I have decided to go to workshops, activities to meet new people and increase my friend circle.
Through all these conversations I am very much grateful i met you dear Anita. You are a kind friend. I wish the best things for you.
Hoping for your reply soon dear Anita.
Goingthroughlife
October 18, 2025 at 8:58 am #451040anitaParticipantDear Going Through Life:
You absolutely have the right to choose what you will discuss and what you will not discuss 🙂
Working on your dreams, body and career, going to workshops, activities and increasing your friend circle- all sound good to me.
I am fine, thank you for asking, taking one day at a time, hoping to be as calm as this Saturday morning is so far, trees moving mildly to the gentle wind (I am surrounded by lots of trees and can see and hear them through big windows).
🌳 🍂 🌲 🍁 🍃 🌿 Anita
October 18, 2025 at 9:01 am #451041anitaParticipantAnd thank you for your kind words, Going Through Life, I am touched and grateful to you, my kind friend!
October 18, 2025 at 11:04 am #451046GoingThroughLifeParticipantDear Anita. I can totally relate, I myself enjoy going to the park and being between the trees and the birds. That’s all there is really.
Can I ask how do deal with loneliness, I’m personally not feeling good in my skin, I’m just seeking external validation.
My sister said to work on myself or I’ll be stuck in such relationships patterns.
I’m really glad you are enjoying friend, enjoy the nature, the trees, the wind to the fullest.
Hoping to hear from you soon
Goingthroughlife
October 18, 2025 at 11:18 am #451047anitaParticipantDear Going Through Life:
“Can I ask how do deal with loneliness, I’m personally not feeling good in my skin, I’m just seeking external validation.”-
Remember yourself as a boy? Were you a lonely boy?
I was (a lonely girl.. a very lonely girl)
Let the boy speak, let him tell his story, if he’s okay with it; if you (the adult) are okay with it.. only if it’s okay. I am suggesting this because the story of childhood tends to repeat in adulthood.
I will soon be away from the computer for the rest of the day, but hoping to read from you when I return (8-10 hours from now)
🤍🌿 Anita
October 30, 2025 at 10:08 am #451400anitaParticipantHow is Going Through Life feeling/ doing these days?
November 1, 2025 at 9:57 am #451443GoingThroughLifeParticipantDear Anita
Thank you for your message, i hope you’re very well. I apologize for not being active. I have been doing better. I have joined the gym, picked up my guitar again, rekindled with lost friends, and trying to work towards my goals now.
I’m sorry you experienced a lonely childhood, please know you can reach out to me your friend anytime Anita, I’ll be there.
I think I want to fall in love with myself more now rather than seeking external validation, I still want it but I want my own love first now.
I’m trying to change my habits relating to emotional regulation, handling conflicts, fitness and etc. I’m trying to become a man now.
In the coming week I’ll be starting acne scar treatment sessions which I’m really looking forward to because my acne scars have always made me feel less confident. I’m grateful my parents agreed to the procedure and related expenses.
Anything you would like to share dear Anita. I’m listening.
Your friend
GoingThroughLifeNovember 1, 2025 at 11:38 am #451449anitaParticipantDear Going Through Life:
“I’m sorry you experienced a lonely childhood, please know you can reach out to me your friend anytime Anita, I’ll be there.”-
Thank you for being my friend. You are my youngest friend, by the way. Sometimes I forget how young you are because it feels like I am talking to a person who is much older.
It’s a delight to read your positive, uplifting update: joining the gym, picking up the guitar, rekindling with lost friends, trying to work on your goals, seeking to fall in love with yourself rather than external validation, improving your emotion regulation, handling conflict better.. and removing acne scars so to feel better about the way you look- these are all positive and valuable things!
“Anything you would like to share dear Anita. I’m listening.”- well, it’s been raining cats and dogs here, no break. I don’t like it because it limits my physical activity. There are other problems, challenges, but I am taking it one day at a time, trying to focus on the positives and on where there’s hope.
Becoming a better person is a huge motivation in my life and it brings me joy.. like right now, having noticed that I am smiling 🙂.
Your (much older) friend, Anita
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