Thank you for your reply Anita.

I couldn’t sleep the whole night, it was filled with panic and crying. I feel knots in my stomach and pain in my chest. I loved her and accepted her. What she did is beyond imagination especially during a panic attack.

I’m still texting and trying to get on call with her. Anita pls guide me. The pain in unbearable.

Goingthroughlife

I came and hugged my mother Anita. I’ll stick doing that for some time. It makes feel someone is there for me. I will also take a hot shower soon.

Thank you for being here Dear Anita

Thank your being here dear Anita. I talked to SS on the phone today, cried a lot, and she confessed it was more than a kiss and she made out with that guy 2 times, second time after i found out. I convinced her, but maybe i’m just scared of losing her and being alone. How can i ever live with a cheater. She blames me for telling her brother what she did. Yes, i told her brother what she did. A bit immature but i was in shock.

I had a long talk with my elder sister and she told me to work on yourself and stay away from her, she is an immature stupid woman, and my sister knows i dont want to be with her anymore, i am just looking for someone for physical and emotional support now. SS told me she has no feelings for me now, and i cant convince her of that. We will maybe meet tomorrow as i convinced her enough to meet me once. Dear anita, i am scared and this is not what i wanted to happen, i loved SS as purely i could. My gut still says to pursue it, but maybe i will get more hurt, what are your thoughts Anita, i dont belive in letting go and thinking it will work in the future, if it has to work, it will work right now or never.

Awaiting your thoughts and guidance dear Anita, till that time i will maybe send a couple of messages more of whether i will meet her or not, i think i want to meet her at least for the last goodbye.

Goingthroughlife

I hope you’re well dear Anita.

I feel light and feeling better as of now. Listening to some fun music, picking up my guitar again and singing my favourite songs, although sad songs, but good. Hoping to sleep tonight without any panics.

Dear Anita, I was following intermittent fasting for the past 4 weeks, I’m happy to share that I feel like I’m shedding weight now.

I have decided to meet SS tomorrow if she agrees, I never ended my past relationships with a proper goodbye, I know how preciously short this life is, I want to have a proper goodbye for me.

Thank you for being part of this journey, my journey friend Anita.

GoingThroughLife

Hear Anita.

I don’t know how she will react. as I said I took a chance, I as scared as I can be.