Hi Alessa, first, I wasn’t actually expecting you to respond again, so don’t worry about it!
And with this sort of thing, as with email and texts, I generally don’t expect an immediate reply, or even on the same day. It’s not like a phone call.
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had troubles that led to trauma – whatever they are, they’ve got to be bad to cause that. But it sounds like you’re doing a lot better now, which is good.
I empathize with difficulties in meditation – especially the “hurricane” reference!
I tried Transcendental Meditation ~1999, but often found my mind too full of agitating thoughts, and then a family crisis put an end to my attempts.
So yes, it’s really not always for everyone.

Advocacy – I actually tried that, but while they did their best, it ultimately fell through. But I think I may be able to get my GPs to reconsider.

People don’t actually know about my health condition – it’s a bit like AIDS was at first: poorly understood, with much myths and even fear linked to it. So I never tell people about it.
When folk treat me poorly, it’s usually down to everyday situations which often result in some form of conflict, and they would very likely treat anyone poorly – not just me. And as I’m not yet good at handling conflict or being assertive generally, I tend to lose out.

Your refernce to structured scenarios made me smile: I think largely due to advice given me by the careers service at university, when I have a job interview, I’d go to the venue a week in advance, just so I know how I’m going to get there, roughly how long it’ll take, and look out for any potential pitfalls which may hinder me the next week, e.g. roadworks. Then I’d check the traffic news on the morning of my interview.
And at university, I used what I’d learned from books about the memory, and go in advance to the rooms where I’d sit each exam, while they’re empty. I’d sit in the area I’d expect to sit, look at permanent features of the room that I’d be able to look at in the exam, e.g. straight ahead, or up or to the sides just a wee bit, as you wouldn’t get away with looking behind you or straight to the sides – they’d suspect cheating!
Then looking at those permanent features, I’d concentrate on parts of my subject that I was worried about remembering.
Then on the exam day, I’d look at those same features (hence the reason I chose permanent ones), and hopefully they would help jog my memory.
I don’t recall if I’d to do that much during actual exams, or how well it worked, but I did at least get my degree!
Now if I could just get a job to match…
😀
Bye for now!