January 12, 2019 at 4:37 am #273949
I do not know what is next. I just need to feel fine by myself again, I guess. I started therapy after the first thing I mentioned in this post happened, my my therapist suggested me to take a break since I said I was over it and I kind of closed myself. I rerurned back to ser my therapist after this CX guy dissapeared, but then I have been traveling because of work. I am planning to go back to therapy. Some days I feel ok, but some others I feel overwhelmed and I do not even know why I keep going.
kayJanuary 12, 2019 at 4:52 am #273951
Thanks for your words. I read some of your other replies in other threads and I feel related with you. Has therapy been helping?
I have talked about those dating experiences with my therapist. Talking with her definitely was helpful. I am planning to continue with that and hopefully I can be ok with myself again.
KayJanuary 12, 2019 at 6:29 am #273957
In your recent note to me you wrote: “I do not know what is next. I just need to feel fine by myself again”.
Earlier in your thread you wrote that four years ago you got a job offer to work abroad and you accepted it without hesitation, maybe because you were “trying to escape from everything in my home country including my mother, I wanted to be free”.
You wrote that you visit them only a couple of times a year, you wrote: “I wish a lot to see them, but when I am there after a couple of days I want to go far away again… I feel trapped when I am with them”.
You mentioned therapy, I think that it is in quality therapy that you should talk about that trapped feeling with your mother in particular. As adult we keep re-experiencing our childhood emotional experience, so I think you are still experiencing it. It makes sense to me that you avoided relationships with men because you don’t want to be trapped.
Living with your mother was a very distressing experience for you, year after year, trapped. For a child time goes by very slowly when suffering, no end in sight.
Resolve your entrapment emotional experience with your mother, and you will be able to live a better life, a relationship with a man will appear doable, something you can handle, choosing well and making a relationship a win-win, win for you, being free, not trapped.
anitaJanuary 12, 2019 at 11:03 am #273993
Thanks for responding, Kay!
Therapy has been massively helpful for me. I used to identify as a shy person, and now I have been getting braver and bolder. I am opening up to people more now. All of these skills that I am developing is most definitely helping me find someone to start a relationship with, eventually start a family with.
Therapist is definitely a safe person for you. You can say the dumbest things to them and they won’t judge you. Without fear, keep telling them what you feel.January 13, 2019 at 12:47 pm #274283
Dear Anita and Mandelbrot,
I am definitely going to mention this when I go back to therapy.
Thanks a lot.
KayJanuary 14, 2019 at 4:40 am #274399
You are welcome. There is no time limit on threads, so you can post again anytime, today, a month from now, six months from now, anytime. When you post, I will be glad to reply.
anitaJanuary 15, 2019 at 2:21 pm #274765
Will do. Thanks Anita 🙂