Home→Forums→Share Your Truth→Sick of not contributing or not knowing how to
- This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 years ago by Anonymous.
-
AuthorPosts
-
October 3, 2014 at 10:42 pm #65981AnonymousInactive
Hi everyone,
I wasn’t too sure where to put this post so I’m putting it here. The title says it all. I’ve posted a few times on this site. First in the tough times section and recently in the relationships sections. I’m always talking about what is bothering me and asking for people’s opinions and help on here.
I have been thinking about how I do this and I never give anything back to people who are having a hard time too. Sometimes, I just don’t know what to say. I’ve wallowed in my own drama for so long, I don’t seem to know the right things to say or do to help someone. It is something I must change and I am working on it.
I was having issues with trying to start a relationship with someone recently. I don’t know if it will work but I’ve decided to let it go and just see what happens. This site has been helping work through things like that and I appreciate the input from people on the forum.
I guess this is a bit of a declaration to start contributing to others more often.October 4, 2014 at 12:01 pm #65984MattParticipantSteve,
You do contribute, friend. More important than bringing any “special wisdom” or whatnot, bringing what you have is always what’s needed. Even when its problems you need help with! Consider that you have the courage to say what is there for you, what you’re looking at. You’re not the only one looking at those things, so as you express even your confusion or need for help, it helps others feel less alone.
Consider, for instance, how many others may read these threads and feel like they can’t contribute something meaningful. You bring it up, with courage, and right off help them feel less alone. And, the community grows a little brighter… even though it was a question, not an answer! And then, it also opens a road for those that have worked through a similar discontent to respond with their ideas! See? There is only contribution. Great work! 🙂
With warmth,
MattOctober 4, 2014 at 3:36 pm #65988Big blueParticipantHi Steve and Matt,
The common theme you shared is gratefulness. This is very powerful for each of you. I’ve read about it here at TB and other places, and then lived it. Said it. Told people face to face that I am grateful. For them. What they do. Where I live. Food. Exercise. My job. My family. My friends. Fresh air. Have told myself: Grateful for myself. My hard work. My sense of humor. Successes. Accomplishments. Learning. The mistakes that I’ve made and painfully learned from. The opportunity to approach each day with both experience and open arms. The sunrise, the day, the sunset, the night. I can say with certainty, that being honestly grateful is a very positive life force.
Many of us found TB because we were torn and beaten down. Failed relationships. Lost causes we thought. Looking for a kind ear. A chance to share. To reach out across the table. To say hi there I am in horrible pain right now, and I could use some help. It’s a darn hard place to be. It is true, though, that simply being grateful can start to turn things around for you. It did for me.
Thank you Steve and Matt.
Big blue
October 4, 2014 at 6:22 pm #65990@Jasmine-3ParticipantThanks Matt and Big Blue.
Hey Steve @guitardude
Matt and Steve provide a great insight and hope it will make you realise that hey, “I am indeed a valuable contributor to everything and everyone around me :)”. So give us a big smile now 🙂
I too believe that each one of us is contributing in various ways. Just by being in this world at this time is a massive contribution. The air you exhale out through your nostrils or mouth is becoming part of another human or other things on this planet. The air you breathe in has already been exhaled out by someone else. We are all connected at a very basic level. Our needs and wants are all same.
We just need to be kind to ourselves and stop being so judgmental. With judgments come the non-acceptance for self / others; our love becomes conditional; we find it very hard to forgive self / others for even the smallest things; and being grateful for every tiny thing becomes the hardest challenge of our existence.
So if you still feel that you don’t know to contribute or you feel sick of not contributing, just start with the simplest mantra – THANK YOU. Thank everything – from yourself to your family / friends / neighbours, food, shopping malls, air, plants, cars, toilets, transport, homes, utensils etc. The more grateful you become, the simpler and purer you will become and life will become a breeze.
I have read your earlier posts over the last few months and I can already see how much progress you have made at a personal level. Keep moving forward. You are doing so well 🙂
Best wishes,
Jasmine
October 4, 2014 at 8:25 pm #65993AnonymousInactiveThank-you Jasmine-3, Big Blue, and Matt,
I’m grateful for many things in my life. I have great kids and people seem to get along with me quite easily. (By the way, my sons are awesome. How many 11 year olds listen to old jazz instrumentals to get drumming tips, or 14 year olds that are hooked on classic Bob Dylan)
I have parents that care about me and I’m quite healthy. I’m just trying to come back to a place where my self-esteem is where it once was before my marriage ended. I wrote in the relationships section again. The other woman I was trying to date decided she shouldn’t date right now. I get tired of rejection.I am grateful that I found this site and I am able to interact with some of the great people I have found on here. Sometimes I feel a little guilty because I read some of the posts on here, and some people are suffering so much more than I am, and I don’t know what to say that might help them.
Four years ago, I would have never shared my life like this. I sat alone in what was troubling me and tried to figure it out myself. It worked sometimes because I used to always believe that things would get better. I had a positive belief that I could always make it better.
I want to be that person again. You guys help me. Thank-you so much. -
AuthorPosts