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  • #52072
    Lenne
    Participant

    I feel really emabarrassed even posting this, but I realise that all the Googling in the world isn’t going to magically turn up an answer for me. Basically, I really love music – a lot! I don’t play any instruments but I listen to it all day long, take my iPod everywhere, usually have it going if I’m home alone, in the the car, whatever. What I’d really like to do is *sing* with the songs I love (even my username comes from Lenne from Final Fantasy X-2 who’s a singer :p) but…

    I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but it just won’t come out. It’s like I’m too scared to make a sound at all and end up just mouthing along with the words, even when I can feel the strength of the emotion welling up in me and wanting to burst out. I suspect part of the reason is that I’m used to being quiet at home and not making much of a noise. It’s always just been me and my mother (we don’t have much in common…) and I’ve always felt like I need to be out of the way and not being a nuisance since “life is hard for a single mother” and blah blah blah and I think over the years the need to suppress and control any emotional outbursts or expressions to avoid creating upsets in the house (she used to have the ugliest outbursts over small things when I was a child and directed them directly at me; there was no else i could turn to; she does not do it as much these days, but she’ll still give me the cold shoulder for days/weeks over nothing) has been so indoctrinated in me I don’t know how to function normally anymore. SIgh. It’s gone a bit off-topic…

    Basically, I’m concerned about this. You hear about people being scared to sing in front of people but not of singing in general. Worrying about how much I’ll probably suck is also not helping. I hate this so much; I just really want to give voice to the passions within me…

    #52077
    The Ruminant
    Participant

    Lenne,

    I got really moved reading your post and I don’t think you have anything to be embarrassed about. I can relate and feel a need to help, to say something that would convince you to dare to open up and sing, but I actually feel a bit…intimidated. There is something incredibly beautiful in you desire to express yourself and what ever I would have to say would pale in comparison. I don’t want to offer a banal “you can do it!” cheer, but I do believe that you can do it, and when you do, it’s a start for something magnificent.

    We all need to practice to master anything. Great artists put a lot of time and effort into mastering their technique. It would be unlikely that you would one day start to sing and it would be pitch perfect right from the start. It is much more likely that you would actually sound not so great 🙂 That’s because you haven’t practiced, not because you would be bad. Considering your desire to sing, you’ll probably become very good, but practice is needed to get there. So do not let any initial stumbling discourage you. Of course first you’d need to make a sound. Any sound. Seek a safe place where you know you can make a noise without anyone hearing and then…start. With anything. Just do it. Make a sound, a noise, anything. That would be your only mission and goal. Then celebrate that! Then make more sounds.

    Learning how to sing and gaining confidence to express yourself are two different things which both support each other, but are iterative processes that take time. Luckily, you’ll likely enjoy the process! 🙂

    #52087
    Kelly
    Participant

    Lenne, I too was moved by your post. I think The Ruminant gives you great advice. I’d encourage your “start” to be talking….. surely you talk in your day to day life. How about speaking the lyrics to your favorite songs? Maybe even without the music – start by simply reading the lyrics off a sheet of paper. Then maybe add the music but continue to merely “speak” the words. You could also try humming along until you feel the courage to really belt out the tune with abandon. I am shy about singing in front of other people – I don’t even like to sing “Happy Birthday” at parties and will sometimes lip synch when I feel uncomfortable. But when I’m alone in my car, I’ll turn up my favorite music and sing along. Like The Ruminant says, maybe you could find a safe place and start small.

    I can relate to your mother issues as well :/

    #60277
    Lenne
    Participant

    hey guys,

    i know it’s been MONTHS since i posted and you replied (been sidetracked!) but i just want you to know that i really appreciate your input. it was hard for me to discuss and i am so happy to have been able to strike a chord (ha ha) with you guys as well. i’m housesitting atm so i’m hoping to use the nice big empty space to start opening up…:D

    p.s. @theruminant: please don’t feel that whatever you have to say pales in comparison – believe me, it means a lot :))

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 3 months ago by Lenne.
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