Holly,

We all on this earth are alone in one way or the other.  We have come alone and depart this world alone which is a hard truth.  The company of ‘self’ is the best relationship we can have and all other relations are temporary.  Its a fact that all relations that we have during our life journey will leave us at some stage or the other of life.  So, why not we seek happiness in whatever we love to do.   Lending helping hand to others without expecting anything in return is the best way to avoid boredom being single in life.

    There is always someone or the other out there for all of us.  There are number of such men who also think the same way as you do and you never know when you may come across meeting someone with similar liking and taste as of you.

Holly,

One word- WOW!

Every man on the planet has access to every other woman on the planet – honestly, it’s true.  That’s the reason why no man will ever want to commit to you.  It’s because they have access to the other 3 billion or so women and they just keep passing you over.  Those other women are all the ideal weight, the ideal age, the ideal character, the ideal personality with the ideal family background and the ideal life plan.  You just can’t possibly compete can you?  Time for a reality check.

Now – take a good, long hard look in the mirror.  If you can’t find a reason for a man to like you, want you, treat you as significant (whatever that means), how is he going to?

And why would you think that (maybe) you don’t have enough to offer?  You haven’t met this man yet but you presume to know what he ‘might’ want.

Work on your list of what you have to offer (what you have to give).  Even simple things can be a big plus in someone’s life.  Someone to talk to, share a movie with, have a coffee with, share a meal with, show an interest in, have a debate with, walk in the park with, kiss, hug, comfort, nurse, go shopping with, smile at, laugh with etc.

Much as we all want that special, someone in our lives, being single has its advantages.  The best relationship we can ever have is the one we have with ourselves.  The quality of all other relationships spring from this.  Use this ‘single’ time to develop interests and hobbies.  Think of giving some of your spare time over to a charitable cause that is close to your heart – this is really good for the soul.  Become involved in your local community and before you know it the ‘right’ person will magically appear.

Good Luck!

Peggy

Holly,

It sounds like you don’t have a good self image, that you don’t value yourself.  Your worth is not dependent on another man.  anita and Peggy have great suggestions.

I believe if we feel good about ourselves, value ourselves, love ourselves then that shines through and those around us are attracted to who we are.

Mark

Holly

I see relationships as self-selecting meaning that it does not work out and there’s a good reason why. It’s not a matter of whether someone is bad and the other person is good. It is a matter of it’s not a match.

I see relationships as self-selecting meaning that it does not work out and there’s a good reason why. It’s not a matter of whether someone is bad and the other person is good. It is a matter of it’s not a match.

Mark

Hi Holly!

I know where you are coming from somewhat. I’m 37 and was single for 10 years after my daughter’s father and I broke up, had a 2-year relationship, and now have been single for another year and a half. So I get how lonely it can get sometimes and that you start thinking something is wrong with you… but there isn’t. I think dating is just hard these days for the reasons you’ve mentioned in your bullet points above, but please remember those things have nothing to do with you or your worth or what you have to offer.

Personally, I look at being single as a blessing in a way. There are advantages that you can’t get when you’re in a relationship. So during this next period of my life where I’ve been single for a while, I’ve been taking full advantage of those things… including organizing my house so that I can get everything in order and I’ll have more time later for when I get into a relationship, I went back to school, I bought a guitar (although still haven’t had much time to practice it due to other priorities), and I’m focusing on my kids and my friends. So try doing the things you really want to do too and try not to worry about finding the right guy at the moment.

I am a FIRM believer that the best relationships happen when you are’t looking. So do all of the things now that you won’t be able to do when your guy comes along, work on getting yourself (and your view of yourself) where you want to be… fix any issues you think you have, especially self-esteem if you believe yours to be low, because lack of confidence tends to not be so attractive and can cause problems in relationships, same goes for things like fear of abandonment. That can also sabotage relationships… if you don’t think you have much to offer, build up your skills and things that you value so that you feel like you have more of value to offer (but this is really more for you and to build your confidence… the right guy is going to like you for you as you are). Try not to get hung up on being older or worrying about men wanting someone younger either. It seems a lot of guys these days actually like older women, believe it or not. Just do all the things you need to do to prepare yourself for and make time in your life for a great relationship… get so happy with your life that you stop caring about finding a guy at all, and he’ll come along in perfect time.