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  • September 17, 2018 at 6:49 pm #226111
    Lilly
    Participant

    hello this is my first time on this site, to be pretty straight to the point, I’m pretty tired of being single and kinda on my own I guess, like I have no crushes or anything like that. What’s some advice for putting myself out there and not being shy or coming off as b*tchy? A few people have told me that when they first met me they thought I was mean, which I’m totally not  haha. How do I seem more approachable and get into a relationship. I’ve never really had a relationship and I kinda just want to connect with someone like that, it seems nice.. don’t get me wrong I like being single but I’m just craving that connection people get with their significant other… help??

    September 18, 2018 at 4:09 am #226145
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Lilly,

    I think it’s best if it just happens, myself.

    And it’s great that you don’t have crushes. RELISH THE GIFT! I was plagued with crushes throughout my youth, and when one day I found I didn’t have any, I felt so incredibly FREE! And sane. Sane is always a good thing.

    Other than going on dating sites and having your friends set you up with people, what else can you do?

    Best,

    Inky

    September 18, 2018 at 9:08 am #226175
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Lilly:

    You wrote: “A few people have told me that when they first met me they thought I was mean... coming off as b*chy“- this means to me that you are angry at people and it shows.

    You asked: “What’s some advice for putting out there and not being shy..”-  this means to me that you feel less than, or not worthy.

    Therefore my advice, based on the little information I have, and so it is limited at best:  resolve your feelings of unworthiness, maybe in psychotherapy. Once you feel and believe that you are worthy, you will not be afraid that men, upon getting to know you, will discover that you are not worthy (you are!) and you will be angry at them expecting them to point that out to you.

    anita

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