Home→Forums→Relationships→Snooped through boyfriend's phone
- This topic has 5 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 3 months ago by
Mark.
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February 5, 2018 at 9:18 pm #190929
AllisonParticipantYou might have invaded his privacy but what’s worse? Creeping on someone else’s phone OR creeping behind someone’s back to talk to other people?
You have to confront him about what you found. Hear what he has to say. Then, take the information you’ve gained from your conversation with him to come to a rational decision.
February 6, 2018 at 1:26 am #190943
GeeanParticipantHi Juan,
Though it’s not right to secretly check your boyfriend’s phone, I do believe that he should’ve been more honest with you about the contents in his phone. You said that you have trust issues, that’s why as a boyfriend, he should’ve told you the truth because if he did that, you’ll be at peace since he told you the exact same thing that you have discovered.
Some people might say that in a relationship, you should respect each other’s privacy. But then again, if you have nothing to hide, it’ll be okay if you can hold your partner’s phone without worrying if you’ll open it or not.
You may still give him a chance, he might be afraid to tell you the truth because he doesn’t want to lose you. If he still lies, i don’t think he’s worth keeping.
February 6, 2018 at 4:20 am #190973
AnonymousGuestDear Juan:
Two months is such a short time. Habits from the past, as in saving nude pictures and flirting with others in phone messages, these may be just that, habits carried on for so long. If his behavior since in a relationship with you does not include him having any kind of sexual relations with other people, only those photos and iffy messages, within this very beginning relationship, then I would say, let it go, if you can. Let the nude photos and iffy messages you found out go and don’t snoop again.
If you tell him that you snooped … he may have a trust issue with you. Better not tell him, I am thinking, and respect his privacy from now on.
Because of your trust issues I am sure you will keep your eyes open to any real evidence of betrayal. Hope there is none.
anita
February 6, 2018 at 5:26 am #190997
InkyParticipantHi Juan,
Hopefully this is just aspects of his life before you still cycling out. However, you always had a gut feeling something was off. Now that you have proof, that just cements the feeling.
You could be honest and simply say, “This isn’t working”. You don’t even have to explain why.
OR you could also comment on how you are totally turned off by creepy people, “you know, the kind that keeps weird photos or does sketchy texting”. Or if a show on TV portrays a character like that, you could visibly and audibly shudder. This will hopefully “convict” him so he always feels creepy and shameful when/if he engages in such behavior again.
The TV thing works, by the way, about once a year when they portray the character of a desperate woman putting the moves on a married man, I always comment, “They don’t have to be pretty.” Husband twitches.
Good Luck,
Inky
February 6, 2018 at 8:16 am #191033
MarkParticipantJuan,
Do you have an explicit agreement of exclusivity? Have you talked about respecting the relationship by not flirting with others either online or in person?
It may be worth a sit down conversation on what you like to see in a committed relationship, e.g. no porn or keeping in touch with ex girlfriends or flirting with other girls or being on dating websites/apps… whatever it is.
This way he would know what your want from him and from the relationship and visa versa.
Mark
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