so lost

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    Hi guys. Lately its come to my attention that I am very unhappy at my current job. I’m saving to move to Nashville but money is always short and its taking forever to move. I feel so stuck that I literally don’t know what else to do next. So I don’t do anything. I called into work bc I can’t bear to be in that soul sucking environment today. I want to change careers but I’m so unsure of what I should be doing or what would truly make me happy. Plus I feel very disconnected from the universe. I feel like god isn’t helping me enough or isn’t listening.

    What can I do to get back in touch and change the live I don’t really love anymore? Everyday waking up is a drag. I’m not excited to have to deal with the same stuff everyday. Sometimes I wish I just wouldn’t wake up at all.

    The Ruminant

    Hello Chelsea,

    I can understand how you feel. I don’t have any clear advice to give, only something that I can see of myself looking into the past. Hindsight 20/20 🙂 I’m not sure if it actually helps you though.

    You’re probably expending a lot of energy into wishing that things weren’t like they are right now, and that your life would be different. It takes a lot of energy to fight every moment of your existence. It leaves one exhausted and not sparing a lot of extra energy into actually getting things done. Besides, you’re kind of living in a limbo in such a situation: not really embracing and living in the reality, but not living in the fantasy life either. There are probably a lot of possibilities and opportunities around you all the time, but to be able to see them would require strength, energy and trust. There’s probably not much of those left at the moment, if you keep spending your energy on fighting, instead of going with the flow.

    I recently read somewhere a quote, that I can’t remember fully, so I’ll have to paraphrase: humility is not trying to outsmart the reality. You may hate your current job, but it might offer you a way to get where you want to be. Do the best that you can with what you have right now at your disposal.

    I sometimes think that somewhere in this world there is a person who wakes up really early in the morning and walks miles and miles to do a job that pays less than a dollar per day, and then walks back home to eat and sleep and does it again the next day. Am I above doing such things? For some reason, injecting a bit of humility in my life offers this tremendous feeling of safety and even happiness. Why fight everything, so that it would be how you want it to be right this minute? Why not do what needs to be done right now, and do it well while you’re at it? Why waste time and energy into wishing that things were different, because they’re not going to be different through magic. What if you’re not ready for Nashville just yet?

    So I guess my answer to the question of what can you do to get back in touch with the life and the universe is “humility”.


    Hi Chelsea,

    I second what The Ruminant said but to add…

    I also went through something similar a couple of years ago. I was overworked and under a tremendous amount of stress that I made myself ill and lost so much weight that when I went home after a few months for a holiday (I work and live in the Middle East and yes, things work very different here!) my friends and family were shocked. It took me a long time to get through it but what i realise now i have is that, I am a stronger person, i appreciate and am grateful for life and I will never, ever go back to that point.

    I believe you need to go through this dark phase to see life in a different light and live your life differently going forward.

    A few tips i can give you… surround yourself by positive people. I realised there were a couple of people (friends) around me that emotionally drained me. You don’t need that, you need people with energy, ambition and with light in their eyes. It is OK to leave some friends behind while you travel through this part of your journey.

    Focus on something else until you can move your job and life somewhere else. For me, I got into exercising – first it started with running. I set myself goals and signed up for 5k, 10k races regularly so that it kept me motivated to train. 10 months later, i ran the marathon!
    I accidentally got into yoga, something i never thought I would enjoy. It’s been 8 months now and I have already been to two yoga retreats in Sri Lanka!

    I started trying any activity and sport, because it was focusing my energy and attention away from something i didn’t enjoy and wasn’t happy with. Work.

    I went rock climbing (indoor) and met who i believe is my soul mate. A real light bulb moment! I have never met someone who inspired me so much. Our relationship only lasted a few weeks but it was enough to set me on a journey to plan my next move out of something i was stuck in.

    I tried wakeboarding, surfboard yoga, boot camps, many many different types of classes, the list is and still is endless!
    It opens up so many opportunities and you meet so many likeminded people.

    I am happier but i am not fulfilled. I will not be fulfilled until i can take the next step i am planning to do, hopefully in the next few months.

    So for me, my advice is, focus what energy you have to achieve something new. Surround yourself with positive people. Wake up every day and repeat – today is going to be a good day. Remember, law of attraction… positivity attracts positivity 🙂

    Good luck, you will make it through a much more amazing person!


    Hi Chelsea,

    I am sorry you’re feeling this way!! I agree with The Ruminant and Loopylou and I would also like to add a few more thoughts that may hopefully be of service as well. 🙂

    There have been many times in my life where I felt stuck or things weren’t “moving fast enough,” which led to feeling lost and frustrated, but in hindsight, I have always come to realize that that period of “stuckness” ultimately served me in sone way or another.

    Here are a few other ideas to help you suss out the value of where you are now which will hopefully ease and perhaps accelerate your path to living your dreams:

    1.) Do you have any unresolved business or issues that need to be attended to before you move? This could even mean something like “a clearing of the air” conversation with a co-worker, or completing some volunteer work that you agreed to but haven’t gotten around to finishing.

    When I used to work in film and commercial production, when a job was over, it was referred to as “wrapping out.” This is when the last details are taken care of and is just as vital as the previous phases, though it’s definitely the least exciting. So perhaps ask yourself if you are you really ready to “wrap out” of where you are now?

    2.) Trusting that even though you are in a transitional period (and this is a powerful transitional period for many of us so you are NOT alone), that it is still valuable. Even though you’re not feeling juiced where you are, you are still on your path to where you need to go. Promise!

    3.) The universe is always communicating with us, but it’s often subtle, so subtle in fact, that when we’re upset or distressed, we may not see or feel the communication… signs can be little things like seeing a Robin right outside your bedroom window (a symbol of not only spring, but new beginnings) or hearing a favorite song on the radio, or finding a coin or a pretty feather, or it can be a phone call from someone you were just thinking about… often these loving communiques are of a personal nature regarding what is meaningful to you i.e. did you stumble upon a favorite movie while channel surfing?

    4.) Lastly, I have found that developing and practicing gratitude, even when it does not come easily (especially when it does not come easily), is incredibly transformative. Waking up and going to sleep while focusing on what we have to be grateful for (even little basic things, like, “the sun was out today” and “I am healthy,” etc). does wonders for my mood, confidence, and feelings of communion. I can’t recommend it enough.

    I hope this is helpful! 🙂



    Hi, I wish I had some advice to offer, however I unfortunately feel I know exactly what you are going through, as I am facing the similar issues in my life right now.

    I have thrown away my twenties in a unsatisfying seven relationship and a dead end job. I am now trying to figure out where I want to go from here. How to make a change. What direction to take my life in from here. How do I quit my job and end my relationship, without some sort of plan in place. The real problem is I feel so utterly lost and have no idea what I want to do with my life. I keep trying to get out but somehow end up getting sucked back in. Currently I too am saving to move to another city, however.. my job does not pay well and I am not saving very quickly. I don’t know how I can stay here any longer. Every day I wake up to the same miserable job and the same unhappy relationship and I die a little more inside. I am praying and searching for guidance and wisdom and strength to survive the upcoming months. I feel dead inside and I pray I find myself before it’s too late.


    Dear Anonymous (+ Chelsea),

    I am also sorry hear you are in such distress too!

    There is hope — ALWAYS!!

    First know that ALL things pass. Like Chelsea, what you are going through is a phase, a part of your story… it’s far from all that is meant for you.

    Second, everyone has a purpose! You just need to find yours. What did you want to do when you were little? What made you really happy? It doesn’t have to be a specific job or a career, but it can be an aspect or quality of something that can tip you off to your soul’s purpose.

    Try to reflect, where did you find bliss when you were seven? That might be your first clue… your soul’s wisdom guiding you to why you are here.

    Third, there are always solutions, even if we don’t see immediate answers to life’s challenges.

    Fourth, sometimes, great patience is required of us.

    Please hang in there and trust that where you are now is not where you will always be!!

    Sorry, I am a little pressed for time as I write this, but I wanted to at least let you know that there is definitely hope.


    PS — are you 29 or 30 by any chance? That is a pivotal transitional age for everyone.

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