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chelsea

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 18 total)
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  • #65422
    chelsea
    Participant

    i just know i’m going to go back to my negative thinking in a matter of time though. this is so frustrating.

    #65421
    chelsea
    Participant

    Okay, i’m opening my journal now. thank you so much. you’ve been a huge help.

    i just am so impatient and ready to get to the city that i love but all these setbacks made me very upset.

    #65418
    chelsea
    Participant

    my troubles seems too big right now to focus on much else.

    what do you focus on?

    i just feel as though i don’t deserve to be happy or get what i want. i wish i didn’t but this is what life has shown me.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by chelsea.
    #65409
    chelsea
    Participant

    I don’t have a credit card. The credit companies keep denying me because I have so much student debt so there is that option.

    #64013
    chelsea
    Participant

    wow, i feel like i wrote this post. I CAN TOTALLY RELATE. i just think we have to work on our self-confidence. my dad has never been apart of my life and so i translated that as “i’m not good enough” and it’s definitely STUCK. i wish i could get over it. i’m thinking about getting some counseling. i feel like i’m driving my bf crazy haha.

    #62585
    chelsea
    Participant

    Thanks, Matt!! 😀

    #61042
    chelsea
    Participant

    i think i’m going to work my last two shifts and quit. i’m over sacrificing my happiness for money. that’s been my entire life and i’m done. completely frustrated this morning and ran across this when i got on facebook.

    ?

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 12 months ago by chelsea.
    #56155
    chelsea
    Participant

    Wow, I am going through the same thing with my boyfriend! I am so glad I found this thread! 🙂

    <cite>@sanna said:</cite>
    That is – your boyfriend isn’t the cause of those feelings, but the messenger/mirror who makes it possible for you to face the things you need to process on to be happy.

    This struck a chord with me but I don’t fully understand, if that makes any sense! What do you mean by “facing things you need to process on to be happy”. For example, my boyfriend has a crazy work schedule. Usually when I am asleep, I will wake up to find him gone fishing, and for some reason, I get very angry with him A. because he just up and left without a note. B. I get scared that maybe something has happened to him while he’s out at such odd hours. C. Although he’s never given me reason to believe he would cheat on me, my mind goes crazy with all these bad scenarios. So when he does finally come in, I am furious. We have a bad fight and end up sleeping separate when all he wanted to do was fish. I FEEL CRAZY. But I also feel like he should be wanted to be next to me since we hardly ever see each other anyway! I’ve even thought about breaking up just to save each of us the stress. But I love him so much. He even said he wants to marry me! But there is no way I could marry him when I freak out every time he wants time to himself.

    #55737
    chelsea
    Participant

    <cite>@gavrev said:</cite>
    I’d pause to wonder whether you’re focussed too much on him and the things which are blocking connection between the two of you, and allowing them to foster stress between the two of you.. I’m not placing any blame anywhere, but I’m guessing maybe you don’t look much towards the things you like about life yourself, such as hobbies or the things that make you “you”?

    i think you nailed it.

    #55736
    chelsea
    Participant

    Thank you for your replies, Gavin!

    Our work schedules typically go with me working 8am to 5pm and him working 3pm to 9pm or 5pm to 2am, depending on which job. As far as relationships, we both define them as a total commitment. No prospects, just focusing on building a future together and becoming better, as individuals and a couple. I wouldn’t be with him if I didn’t see and feel a real life together. I am currently picking up hobbies that make me feel better about myself because I notice my own jealously when he leaves to go and do his thing. As far as how he feels about us, he says he wants to marry me and that i’m the “perfect woman for him”. He’s very, very sweet.

    And about traveling, I actually won a trip to Branson, MO for three days and two nights that is good for any time within the year. I randomly entered a contest at the Opry Mills malls in Nashville, and got a call that I won last week. This is funny because I wrote down in my journal about manifesting some travel and there you have it. I still can barely believe it! 🙂

    #55718
    chelsea
    Participant

    You’re so right, actually. We mostly have opposite work schedules so I don’t feel like we connect as much as we’d like. Sex is rare, unfortunately. And when we are together, I am bitter about the fact that we never see each other, especially when he wants to take time away from us to go do some things that make him happy like fishing or skateboarding. I get jealous sometimes when his time goes to other things when we already have so little time together as a couple. I’m struggling with this right now. I just miss him and love him so much. In a perfect world we would travel and be together all the time. haha 🙂

    #51337
    chelsea
    Participant

    Thanks, guys. I really appreciate the replies.

    I was bullied back then and now I can’t believe I let that happen. I feel like I should’ve done more but it’s too late now. I feel so ashamed when it comes to sex. I feel as though since this happened when I was younger, I don’t deserve to enjoy sex and have fun with my boyfriend in this way.

    I wish i could shake this feeling!

    #50436
    chelsea
    Participant

    thank you, annie! yes, i believe that God has my back 100% but at the same time, i wish there were a better feeling solution than breaking up. i love this man so much. my first real relationship and i’m in pieces right now yall. please pray for him to get his life on track and realize his worth and how much he can do with himself if he really tries. i hope we reconnect in the future. i can’t imagine us not speaking again.

    what can i do in the mean time to quell this heartache?

    #50427
    chelsea
    Participant

    but despite all the bad things in our relationship, he was the sweetest guy i’d ever met and so respectful towards me (most of the time). always telling me how beautiful i am and how im so smart and all those good things… the thought of not finding someone better is terrifying right now. and the thought of him moving along kills me. too many thoughts! i need help and prayer right now. thank God for my friends and this forum.

    #42762
    chelsea
    Participant

    You guys are wonderful. Thank you so much for easing my mind. Dharmesh, your words are so true. I actually DO think of my desires with a bit of doubt in mind because I can’t see the ‘how’ in achieving my dreams. Where will the money to move come from? How will I find a job/apartment in a big city I don’t currently live in? All these questions! I just don’t think the universe has that much love for me because I don’t feel I am worthy of such awesome things because so many people my own age can achieve these things so easily and I feel like everything in my life is a struggle. My dreams feel “bigger” than me. Bad mindset, I know. I don’t want my dreams to fall apart but I’m so scared they will. I just want to be in a place where I don’t feel bored everyday. I’m tired of the monotony but I don’t see how the universe will come through on this one. I wish I had stronger faith but I don’t feel love from the universe sometimes. Everything in my life happens so slowly and behind everyone else. It isn’t fair but life isn’t supposed to be, I guess? I just want to be there and not here in mississippi.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 18 total)