This is going to be a rant just warning you. I haven’t had good luck in the dating department and have had a few bad experiences the past year and have made me jaded. Ever since my recent break up, my co-workers have been talking behind my back about how I have become more “negative and snippy”, which honestly is a slap in the face because they didn’t have the courage to say it to my face, like my ex boyfriend when he broke up with me (through text message) this hurts the most. My past relationships have taught me that I should call people out on things, which I didn’t in the past so I might as well start doing it now. My friend claims that they’re (the other co-workers) trying to help me but I don’t see it because they’ve been talking behind my back. I’m so tired of being deceived and being texted this shit, and not being told in person.

I feel like I can’t do anything I set my mind to and don’t work hard for anything. School work has always been a struggle, learning something new has always been a struggle so I usually quit and never make anything of myself. I, with lots of protest, graduated community college but that was like hell for whatever reason. I have average intelligence I think but accomplishing something that takes work is hard for me and I usually end up quitting. I want to go back to college and finish my bachelor’s degree and I enjoy learning- it’s just when it gets tough I hate it. I’ve applied to a few state schools, but I really want to apply to this private school but I need many more materials to go with my application such as letters of recommendation and things that honestly seem impossible to get.

I even have a crush on a guy who probably won’t ever commit to me and is unattainable. My friends are beginning to hate me, I have no real ambition and my love life is a lost cause hahaha.