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Soul mate

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  • #56459
    Cameron
    Participant

    People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

    A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

    A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…

    Above is what my friend sent me. While I was reading it, I had this strong resistance to believing or reading it. I don’t wanna know it. I don’t want anyone to tell me what I’ve always believed is wrong.
    After the breaking up, I was so shaken and broken. I’ve never experienced this kind of emotion before and it was a huge wake up call. I knew that I needed to make some changes otherwise I would just repeat the same mistake. It’s been a difficult journey. I meditate daily, try to be mindful and talk to God.

    A while ago, I started online dating. I did online dating before and it’s never succeeded. This time round, I decided to be very honest about my faith, my personality and my spirituality. However, I was told by my friend saying I shouldn’t talk about my faith and spirituality in my profile as it scares people off. I didn’t remove them entirely, I just briefly state that I enjoy the art of buddhism. A guy showed his interest and asked me what kind of guys I’m looking for. So I said I’m looking for a kind, trustworthy, peaceful and somewhat spiritual guy. I’m quite a spiritual person so it’s important that he respects and understands that. Then… He disappeared.

    I was very disappointed and wondering if I should take my friend’s advice and not talking about my religion and spirituality. I don’t want to since I’m really proud of being a buddhist and being spiritual and they’re very important in my life. However, the doubt has never left me. I dunno what I should do now as no one shows any interests in me on this dating website. I wonder if I remove the parts, will I get more interests.

    As the same time, I keep telling myself that I should believe myself but the doubt arises so often that it’s hard to ignore it.

    I dunno if I’m making any sense here coz I actually wanna ask two questions here. One is if you agree what my friend sent me. The other is about if I should stop mentioning my religion and spirituality. Thanks heaps. 🙂

    #56462
    Matt
    Participant

    Cameron,

    That sounds like bubkiss to me, my heart and mind also rejected it. Relationships like that happen, but to call that “soul mate” sounds like someone remains bitter over a deep connection that went south. Don’t be afraid of words, just look. What do you see?

    If spiritual development is a big thing for you, there’s good reason to share it. Guys will either like you or not, being spiritual isn’t a turn off to any of my male friends at least. If you had “I want to have lots and lots of babies”, perhaps a little rethinking might be involved. 🙂 Perhaps you’re looking in the wrong spot? Often, its easiest to find compatible people by going out and doing what we love to do. That’s where they’ll be, doing what they love to do. Or, you’ll have so much fun doing it that you’ll take some of that pressure off your shoulders.

    For me, I’ve never had good luck with love when seeking it. Rather, it has always grown for me (including with my wife) when I was just out playing, happy, sharing the joy grown on the cushion.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    #56531
    sojourner
    Participant

    The bit about Soul Mates is a direct quote from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Eat Pray Love. A fantastic read for anybody on a spiritual journey or recovering from a break up.

    #56533
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Thanks everyone.

    Hey cameron @cameron

    When our consciousness grows, everything becomes crystal clear. As long as our human lens is blurred with negative experiences, ignorance or arrogance, everything seems like a disblief if it doesnt match our values or current understanding of how things should be.

    In my opinion, we have many soul mates around us and more new ones come along at different junctions of life. Each soul is teaching us something or learning something from us so that we can all learn about and become UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. We are part of a huge soul group. So please do not get stuck with that perfect fit version of a soul mate. I am living with 3 soul mates currently – 2 dogs and hubby hehehe that I just adore and love to bits. All 3 have taught me so much in life that I could not have learnt otherwise. We all have our own moments from time to time but as long as we remember that we are all here to learn and grow, things come back to fun times quickly.

    As for listing religion or spirituality as your interests on dating sites – it is a personal preference. When we are comfortable in our own skin, it doesnt really matter. It seems you may not be clear about your love for religion or spirituality, because if you were, you would not have any confusion about it.

    Perhaps, the question you need to ask yourself is: what sort of guy do I see myself with ? What do you want in a life partner ? Then visualise that person. A person doesnt have to be spiritual or religious to be awesome. My husband is far from both but he is still kind, funny, loving, respectful and lets me be me. Become the person you want to attract.

    Often we attract people into our lives based on the persistent energy we send out into the Universe. If we accept ourselves the way we are, we find more people who are happy to accept us as we are. While religion and spirituality are good topics for conversation, they do not define anyone. What defines us is how we treat ourselves and others.

    Hang in there and pls do not listen to too many advices as it can corrupt the good work that we are doing on self growth. Too many cooks spoil the broth, yeah ! Stick to simplicity and do what makes you happy.

    Blessings,

    J

    #59249
    Cameron
    Participant

    Hi Jasmine @jasmine-3. and Matt@amatt

    Sorry I replied this late. I was so confused at the time I posted this thread, so after reading your responses, I made a decision to focus on myself and not listening to any advice. The only advice I listen to is within myself and it works wonderfully.
    Tiny Buddha is a wonderful place but at the same time, so many people have similar problems and I didn’t think I was strong enough to read posts without getting influenced. That’s why I disappeared.
    Now I’m stronger than I was so I come back.
    Jasmine and Matt. You two are wonderful people who are strong enough to keep helping others on this forum. I hope I can do that in the further too 🙂
    With love.

    #59254
    Matt
    Participant

    Cameron,

    Thanks for the kind words! Its good to keep our attention on our own heartsong when dancing with others. Question, examine, explore, accept, reject, ignore… as we follow what feels right, the heart grows wise. Welcome back!

    With warmth,
    Matt

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