Starting over with a ton of baggage

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    I start a new job today which I know is a step in the right direction as I have been unemployed since June. However I have so much still to do to fix my life. I will be homeless again at noon on Friday. I am behind many months on my car payment. I need to file bankruptcy and do many other things to get my life back on track. To say I’m scared is an understatement. I don’t know how to put it all in perspective and figure it all out. I don’t know where to begin with everything or how I need to prioritize it all. I just feel so lost and confused. Any clarification needed I will happily do so. Any input is happily appreciated.


    Dear Robin:

    One thing at a time:

    – find a place to stay in this coming Friday (maybe same place, if possible) .

    – notify the car payment company that you are starting a new job this Friday and ask for their patience. (Is there is a lesser costly alternative to that particular car..?)

    Make a list of things to do today. At the end of the day evaluate your list and make a new one for the next day. Take each day as an independent unit of time, look only at that day as you live through it, postponing, best you can, thoughts about the farther away future.

    Post again anytime, with your thoughts and feelings. I would like to reply to you every time.




    Dear Robin,

    I’m happy you decided to open up. That was very courageous of you, and let me share with you what my thoughts are.

    You sound very stressed. It’s okay, let’s tackle your problems one by one. What you must know is that you aren’t alone in your journey. Everyone is wishing you well, including myself. This is one of the setbacks in your life that you have to be strong to conquer. You can do it, seeing how much you have endured in the past, you’ll continue to do so. As such, put on a smile, take a few deep breaths, and just continue living your life as it is! You are already on the right track, believe me, or not. Keep walking and don’t look back. Yes, have trust in where you are going, and stop doubting yourself, sure? Take it slow and steady, at your own pace.

    Another advice is to let go of things that cannot be changed. I know this sounds cliche, but it is true. I am sure there are a lot of things in your life that you would like to change if you could, but appreciate these flaws and love the imperfections. Push yourself to continue to have the courage to face life. Fight on, Robin! Your thoughts are a powerful medium. Let your thoughts empower you.

    Remember, you are not alone in this.

    Let me know if you have anything else on your mind. 🙂


    Jun Na


    @ Anita

    First let me say thank you for taking the time to read my post and leave a thoughtful reply. Will start making a list every day. I think that’s a great idea. I’m hoping to feel better in making the list and seeing the individual things I’ve accomplished. I will call the car finance company on Friday once I know where I stand with being homeless or not. I have a good friend that has offered to pay a week at a hotel for me. I will post back and let you know what I find out.

    Thank you again!

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Robin.

    @ Jun Na

    Thank you very much for replying to my post. I am very stressed and have been for a while. I appreciate your encouragement but I I feel more like a failure than I do courageous. I’m 44 and I’ve lost just about everything I have and I don’t just mean tangible things. Honestly I don’t know who I am or how to figure that out. I feel like I’ve spent most of my life just existing. Always feeling there has to be more to life than just that. That’s all for now as I’m feeling pretty drained. I will write more later.


    Dear Robin:

    You are welcome. I am looking forward to you posting again. “Starting over with a ton of baggage” is the title of your thread. It would be nice if it was possible for you to start over with no baggage, just you, wouldn’t it.



    Hi Robin. I hope that job is going well. I usually just lurk and read the inspirational stuff here on Tiny Buddha but I had to reply to your post.

    I’ve been and am in your shoes as I type this.In fact I can beat your story 10 times over.I’m 47 years old and have faced divorce,bankruptcy,eviction,unemployment,estrangement from loved ones and health problems in the last 10 years.

    Just got laid off in June from a job a had for three years working extremely hard for a low wage.I too am months behind on my car loan and unemployment only pays my rent.

    I’ve been trying to rebuild a life for myself forever and it’s 2 steps forward 3 steps back everytime. Have I made you feel better yet? LOL

    Best advice I can give is try not to make important life altering decisions while in your weakened state.It seems all the wolves come out when they know you’re down.They’ll try to take your home your car and everything if you let them.Fuck ’em all.

    Tell the car co. they”ll get they’re money.Did you know you can get numerous payment extensions by paying a small fee tacked onto your loan. Did you know you have renters rights? Don’t leave your home and don’t make things worse for yourself.I’m the king of self destruction so I speak from experience.

    Lastly feel free to email me if you need a friend or advice.rsteve60@ymail.com

    Good Luck


    As someone who is facing constant disorder chaos and stress and have been for the past seven years or so I know too well that feeling of not knowing which way is up or down.

    This past two weeks have been particularly chaotic for me.

    This works:

    prioritize the things that must be done for EACH DAY and write them down. In your phone. Paper tends to get misplaced.

    Each morning try to get up as early as you possibly can and start on that list. I know it’s scary because some of the things on that list you may simply be too afraid or worried to face or do ( I’m the mistress of procrastination, I know). I know you don’t even want to call your debtor/s because you don’t want to be scolded about car payments in arrears. I know, believe me. But do it.

    Try not to leave anything off today’s list for tomorrow unless it’s physically impossible to do.

    Start there. I know this post is days old but hopefully I have said something that may still be of use to you.




    Hi Robin,

    Around 2009, the same happened to me. I had lost my job, was facing eviction. I only had a little bit of money left from a 401K. My Dad had just passed, had no family or friends to help me. I went to see an attorney. Since it was a long time ago, I don’t remember all the details. But I remember getting help. I got help with my utilities by going to churches. They will help you. I also got help with 1/2 my rent from Salvation Army and St. Vincent Dr Paul. I remember being so desperate, I went to the yellow pages and contacted every single church and social service organization I could and explained my predicament. Many helped me out. Many churches had a social advocate deliver food from their food pantry for me, because I could not afford has to go and get the food. I had two cats, I called numerous animal welfare organizations and they helped me with cat food and even litter.

    When I went to the attorney, she contacted a credit counseling agency, I was trying to get on SSDI, and somehow, she negotiated the car payments in at a reduced cost along with my credit card bills, so I could try to avoid bankruptcy and try to keep my car for a few more months. Don’t give up. There are places that will help you. I think I was even given a voucher for public housing. There is hope.


    You got best of advices from above people you will do great losing everything doesn’t mean end of life or world and age is just a number don’t think about that imagine there are few people to help you,do everything calmly and one by one you have proper body and sound mind there are much worse things can happen you are lucky that you have a good that is guiding you to make your life better not into self sulking or any kind of addiction………


    Robin I wish I could offer some advice, but everyone here who has answered you have given you solid advice. Each and everyone of them are your safe harbor in your storm. More importantly, I wish I could ease your pain.



    Hi Robin,

    I hope you get this, since this is an older thread. I was just seeing how you are doing and if things are any better. Feel free to post anytime.

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