Stuck between stability vs. a calling

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This topic has 11 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 5 months ago by sleepyocean.

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July 12, 2017 at 10:30 am #157638

sleepyocean
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Hello. I’m posting here today because I feel torn, stressed, and miserable about what to do with my career and “life path”.

For a few years now, I’ve been wanting to quit my stable 9-5 job and start my own service-based business.

Many have give me the advice that I should wait until I’m earning enough from the business before quitting the 9-5.

The problem is that I feel I’ve been delaying things with my business. It hasn’t exactly taken off and I haven’t been spending time trying to grow it or get clients. My 9-5 is mentally tiring and to be honest, I just don’t want to do anything when I get home from work, and I just want to relax on the weekends.

My gut tells me I need to quit the 9-5 so it will motivate me to really focus on my business. On the other hand, there are personal issues in my life that are preventing me from taking the leap. I keep setting a date to give my notice, and pushing it back. I fear that I will never be able to quit, even though I know in my heart this 9-5 isn’t for me anymore.

Any advice or your thoughts are welcome and appreciated. If you’ve been in a similar situation, I’d love to know how you made this transition, your struggles, etc.

Thank you.

July 12, 2017 at 11:02 am #157686

Anonymous
Guest

Dear sleepyocean:

Do you feel fearful about giving your notice, losing reliable income? And are you trying to place yourself in a situation where, once you give a notice and the job ends, you will be forced to invest your time in the business?

anita

July 12, 2017 at 11:49 am #157710

sleepyocean
Participant

Hello Anita. Thank you for your quick reply.

Yes, I would say fear plays a huge part in me not giving notice. It all ties into the fear of losing reliable income, flexible work and vacation hours, and health benefits. Basically fear of the unknown too.

But if I’m honest, I have enough savings to last me at least 6 months to a year where I wouldn’t have to worry about not being able to pay the bills.

I do have plans on how I can replace that stable income with my business goals. I guess I haven’t taken action on them as much I would like due to a lack of confidence, and excuses like not having the time, motivation, or energy.

July 12, 2017 at 1:08 pm #157744

Anonymous
Guest

Dear sleepyocean:

You are welcome. Here is an image I have in my mind to explain a point I think is relevant to you: it is like you are driving a car, one foot is on the gas pedal. The gas pedal is all your business ideas, excitement about it, savings of six months, skills. But your other foot is on the brake pedal which is fear. So one foot pushes on the gas pedal; the other pushes on the brake; stop and go, stop and go. Stop…

Fear is a powerful emotion. It has to be managed. If you have a business plan you also need a fear-management-plan, most important.

anita

July 12, 2017 at 1:43 pm #157766

sleepyocean
Participant

Dear anita,

Thank you so much for this thoughtful reply. The analogy of the car makes so much sense. The “stop and go” describes my dilemma and conflicting feelings exactly.

I have never thought about a fear management plan, but I will look into this further. Do you know of any resources for this? Or where I could find more information?

Thank you again.

July 12, 2017 at 1:57 pm #157772

PearceHawk
Participant

Dear Sleepyocean,

I would like to offer a very brief opinion for now. I will most certainly add to that if you don’t mind, after I dwell on it.

You said something that caught my eye right away…”Many have give me the advice that I should wait until I’m earning enough from the business before quitting the 9-5.” I would like to offer that you should wait until you are learning more about the business as opposed to earning enough. I think that by learning more about the business model you will be more informed to move forward with more certainty.

Pearce

July 12, 2017 at 2:36 pm #157788

sleepyocean
Participant

Dear PearceHawk,

I am grateful for all opinions and yours is certainly welcome too.

Interesting point about learning instead of earning. It struck a chord because I do feel I have more to learn. Knowledge is power as they say. Perhaps the more knowledge I acquire regarding the business, the less fearful I will be about quitting.

Appreciate your advice–thank you for taking the time to respond. It means so much.

July 13, 2017 at 10:04 am #157908

Anonymous
Guest

Dear sleepyocean:

You are welcome. Regarding resources for a Fear Management Plan (FMP, that would be…)- a practice of one or two short guided meditations can be a start. Such meditations should start with you focusing on your breathing, and follow with focusing on sounds.

This focus gives you a break from the thinking/ wandering mind, the part of the brain that is otherwise free to think all the anxious provoking thoughts. This is a start.

anita

August 3, 2017 at 7:58 pm #162018

Steph
Participant

I think you should find a balance between waiting until you are emotionally ready to take a risk and financially ready to support yourself for a year while you get the business started.

I am currently in the same situation where I hate my 9-5 job and would like to start my own business, but I am buried with student loans, still paying off some credit card debt, and haven’t been able to save any money. I can’t even say I have a realiable savings account because I’ve really focused on paying my student loans. My short term goal will be to pay off debt, save money and then put my attention towards quitting my job and starting my business…and I have to accept that I have to sacrifice staying at my job for a bit longer so that the long term goals of being independent are met.

After all go that being said, I think you are on the right path, just continues to check in with yourself and set up some realistic goals. It makes a huge difference.

I hope that helps.

-S

August 23, 2017 at 12:38 pm #165324

sleepyocean
Participant

Dear Steph,

Thank you for sharing your story. It’s great you have short term goals in place and know what you need to do before starting your business. I think I need to work on the emotional side of things as financially I think I’m ready. September will be a game changer for me as there will be a lot going on and a few “tests” to see if my business gains any traction.

Good luck with your goals and thank you again for your thoughtful words.

August 23, 2017 at 3:04 pm #165346
Humanoid
Participant
Given you have savings for 6 months plus you are in a good place. Assuming you can supplement that with some income straight away, why not give it 6 to 9 months in your new business and see if you are moving in the right direction. In the unlikely event it’s not working out, you still have a few months savings to look for another job and you can hold your head high knowing you gave it go.

Many a person has been lying in their death bed wishing they could tell their younger self to go for it.

Good luck

Tim
- This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Humanoid.
- This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Humanoid.
- This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Humanoid.
November 13, 2017 at 2:20 pm #177955

sleepyocean
Participant

Dear Humanoid/Tim,

Thank you for adding your thoughts to this post of mine! I didn’t think anyone would respond to this thread anymore, but I felt the need to return and re-read the responses others have left already.

I like your advice about giving the business a go for half a year, and then re-evaluating if things are working out, or not working out. I’m aiming to quit my 9-5 in early January 2018. Excited yet scared still, but I feel it’s something I need to do. And I feel like I’m nearly ready, or at least more ready than when I first posted about this.

I’ve learned so much in the past few months, and a lot is happening within the next month that I hope will bring me more clarity and confidence.

But you are right–I don’t want to lie on my death bed with regrets of not pursuing something I felt so compelled to do. Again, thank you for your words.
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