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Stuck & unhappy but not doing anything about it

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Viewing 10 posts - 46 through 55 (of 55 total)
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  • #125613
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Bed time for me. Good night, Daniel. Be back in about 12 hours or so.
    anita

    #125614
    daniel
    Participant

    Good night rest well.

    #125632
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Thank you and Good Morning, Daniel. New day.
    anita

    #176345
    daniel
    Participant

    Hi anita, are you there?

    #176373
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Daniel:

    I am here, six hours after you posted the above. Talk to me…

    anita

    #176519
    daniel
    Participant

    I am back in the rut and once again, I’ve chosen to withdraw from social contact as much as I can. Being like this isn’t nice, but although I know it’s a repeated pattern of a vicious cycle, I keep coming back to this option whenever I’m overwhelmed, stressed. It sucks.

    #176525
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Daniel:

    On January 17 you asked me: “When the child turns older, isn’t it his job to be independent? To be self motivated, to be responsible, to be everything an adult should be?And if he cannot achieve the above, isn’t he responsible for his own predicament/downfall?”

    I answered you: “When the child turns older and his needs and feelings are filed away in a dark basement in a folder marked “unimportant/ no one cares”- then it is the job of the now-adult to go down to the basement, brush off the dust from that folder, open it, welcome his needs and feelings back into his adult brain and body, and let those welcomed needs and feelings bring life into him. That life is the motivation he needed all along, the motivation to initiate and persist through difficulties”.

    There is no actual basement and so you cannot literally walk down to that basement. It is a figurative basement that literally exists as neuropathways in the brain. Quality psychotherapy is the best place to figuratively go down that basement, and literally, make new neuropathways to correct those that exist.

    You are not responsible for the neuropathways formed in your childhood. You are the only one who can correct those, with help. It is not easy.

    I would say, quality psychotherapy, at this point, is what I would do in your place, in your circumstances.

    anita

    #176559
    daniel
    Participant

    Is counseling considered psychotherapy? I’ve been seeing a counselor for perhaps the past 4 years now.

    #176561
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Daniel:

    I think that counseling is considered psychotherapy but many psychotherapists/ counselors are not good enough to make a real difference. This is why I wrote “quality psychotherapy”.

    Tell me what has your counseling been like for four years: did you see the counselor regularly, how often? What happens during sessions, do you learn anything/ feel better afterwards?

    And what difference has it made for you, if any?

    anita

    #179657
    August
    Participant

    I’m like this too. I procrastinate everything. I just binge watch videos and YouTube etc because it makes me not think about my life. I become comfortably numb. It makes my head kind of cloudy.  Some times I will also have wine and chocolate at the same time which provides even more numbing power. I’m 49 and have no drive to do what is neccessary to better my life as far as career goes. I have also lacked the confidence to grab life by the balls and get what I want.

    Instead  I work in a low paid manual labour position which doesn’t require my intelligence or creativity. I have kind of resigned myself to the fact that this might be as good as it gets for me. I try to see the positive side and I try to save money but in the back of my mind there is a nagging feeling that I’m not reaching my potential and I’m wasting my life. I’m certainly not “self actualising” that’s for sure.

    On the other hand I’m also aware that my worth is not based on how I make money or how much.  I have been born into a capitalist society in which a tiny percentage of people control most of the money and everyone else is forced to make do so to a large extent I don’t have much control over it. As much as I would prefer to be doing something more fulfilling for work I’m also grateful that I can survive in this world and I am doing it the best way I can right now.

    Society conditions us to believe that unless we are striving on the ladder of success and status and material wealth then we are worthless but really it’s a lie. We are worthy for just being born, for just being alive not for how much we produce and consume. Everybody has much right to be happy and live a peaceful fulfilling life as anybody else no matter what you’re doing.

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by August.
Viewing 10 posts - 46 through 55 (of 55 total)

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