Home→Forums→Spirituality→Surrender, Accessing Shakti by clearing samskaras, eliminating false selves
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April 12, 2024 at 8:13 am #431635seaturtleParticipant
Hello,
I have been reading from Michael Singer, and Eckhart Tolle, learning about what it means to live in the seat of self, and watch my thoughts. I have also been made aware of the 7 chakras and the flow of energy, called Shakti (from my understanding) that remains dormant in most, do to blockages stored inside of us. Michael Singer calls these blockages “Samskaras” which come from the Buddhist concept of clinging. Please correct me if I am wrong, I am knew to the study of Buddhism and to developing a sense of what it means to be fully conscious. Clinging happens when we resist or hold on to a certain event, and both of these actions, prevent the energy from passing through us and instead become a blockage inside of us, that in order to release, we need to let them to rise, feel it, and allow it to leave us. I would really like to discover more ways to uncover and release these samskaras, my motivation being to have more energy (Shakti) in clarity, to live more consciously.
False selves, is a bit more abstract to me, and I would like to learn more. From what I have grasped so far, they are patterns of thought/motivations that come from our egoic mind rather than our conscious Being. ?
In the Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer, there is a book in his series called “Living From a Place of Surrender,” I listened to it recently on Audible and want to again because I feel like it brought me to a state of consciousness, since I read it I find myself still behaving unconsciously (Something Eckhart Tolle also talks about in “The Power of Now”). I want to live from a place of surrender, by accepting things the way they are and acknowledging the outside world cannot fix my inside world. I also struggle with this concept, versus the control I should take in my life.
Seaturtle
April 12, 2024 at 11:27 am #431648anitaParticipantDear Seaturtle:
I would like it if this thread will not be only a conversation between you and I, but a place where more members will participate in, members with more knowledge of Buddhism.
Seaturtle and Shakti start with the same letter and both have a t in them.. Shakti Seaturtle, that’s the goal?
“I would really like to discover more ways to uncover and release these samskaras, my motivation being to have more energy (Shakti) in clarity, to live more consciously“-
– as in, Seaturtle – Samaskaras = Shakti …
Remove the impurities (deceptions, false beliefs, invalid shame and guilt, misunderstandings), aka samaskaras, and you end up with pure cosmic energy, aka Shakti. Did I get it right?
“I want to live from a place of surrender, by accepting things the way they are and acknowledging the outside world cannot fix my inside world. I also struggle with this concept, versus the control I should take in my life.“- accepting things the way they are does not imply being passive (or shouldn’t, says I). I think that it’s about accepting and surrendering to the truths of this world that we have no control over (we can’t change them), and focusing on what we do have control over, doing all that we can do about the things that we can change for the better.
anita
April 12, 2024 at 12:51 pm #431651HelcatParticipantHi Seaturtle!
I just wanted to deeply apologize for disappearing before. I know that it’s something that hurts you and I’m so sorry I did that. It was not my intent to hurt you. I had an emergency with my baby. I managed to mention the emergency to another user because I was in the middle of writing to her when it happened, I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to message you too. I’m sorry to say that it was very stressful for the rest of the pregnancy and his early life. I wasn’t in a place mentally where I was able to be positive and supportive. Things are getting easier now thankfully.
I’m trying to catch up with what I missed in your previous thread to make things up to you. You expressed a desire not to be reminded of certain things in your other thread, so I won’t discuss them in this thread. I’m happy to hear that your surgery was successful, you don’t have cancer and the doctor was able to preserve your ovary. That is excellent news! I’m happy for you. ❤️
If you would like, I could share some things that I’ve been learning from Buddhism and related Eastern philosophies?
Wishing you all the best! 🙏❤️
April 13, 2024 at 10:37 am #431665seaturtleParticipantDear Anita,
I would like it if this thread will not be only a conversation between you and I, but a place where more members will participate in, members with more knowledge of Buddhism.
-I would love nothing more!
Shakti Seaturtle, that’s the goal?
-Yes (:
Remove the impurities (deceptions, false beliefs, invalid shame and guilt, misunderstandings), aka samaskaras, and you end up with pure cosmic energy, aka Shakti. Did I get it right?
-Yes, that is what my understanding is as well. Invalid shame, guilt and deception (past) and invalid anxiety, fear.. (future). Learning to just Be Now. What I learned is that our minds cannot figure out what/who Being is, giving it the task of figuring out who we are, as the watcher of our thoughts, emotions and outside world (I would also add bodily sensations to that, but those are the three Michael Singer spoke of) is a waste of brilliant mind potential. As humans our minds have discovered amazing things when given the right tasks, and I believe I have given my mind tasks that I am working towards releasing, such as the task to make me comfortable, and more tasks I am sure I haven given it.. I wonder if it is my minds job to release samskaras, or what part the mind plays in that process…? From my understanding, a way to release is to relax in the face of the discomfort. I want to separate mind and “I.”
I think that it’s about accepting and surrendering to the truths of this world that we have no control over (we can’t change them), and focusing on what we do have control over
-How do we get more clarity on separating these two categories?
Seaturtle
April 13, 2024 at 10:46 am #431667seaturtleParticipantHi Helcat!
It brought a smile to my face to see you again! I remember hearing about a family emergency, and I am happy to hear things are getting easier now! Don’t feel badly, I understood, and once you were gaining strength back I can understand that the volume of messages in my other thread may have seemed overwhelming. I also respect you for knowing when is the right time for you to put your energy in other places rather than come to the thread at half battery.
Thank you for keeping certain topics in that other thread, it feels like the right time to peel away from that anchor. (all these ocean metaphors haha I don’t know where they came from “half mass” “anchor,” perhaps I am re-entering fully back into my body, Seaturtle body haha.
Also thank you for your comments on my surgery, it was a heavy process, especially newly single, so alone in the hospital was a bit traumatic. But I am far in to my recovery and just this morning did my first hot yoga class since surgery!! I have held off cause my core went through a lot, but I am so happy I waited and even happier that I got through the whole class (LOTS of sweat first time back haha) and hours later I am not still feeling good on the inside but it is a good way to remember to come back to my body to check on her.
If you would like, I could share some things that I’ve been learning from Buddhism and related Eastern philosophies?
I would love that!! (passes the microphone)
Seaturtle <3
April 13, 2024 at 2:33 pm #431674anitaParticipantDear Seaturtle:
“I wonder if it is my minds job to release samskaras, or what part the mind plays in that process…?“- it’s the brain’s job. There are thousands of neural connections between the different parts of the brain, this is why it is not simple at all to change core beliefs and habitual patterns of thinking and feelings.
“How do we get more clarity on separating these two categories?”– lots of people worry about situations they personally cannot change, at least not in any way that’s objectively significant (Ex., wars, threats of wars, the price of lettuce). When you find yourself worried and ruminating about a situation, or a person, ask yourself if you can change the situation or the person in any way that’s objectively significant. If you can’t, ask yourself what’s the purpose of your ruminating.
anita
April 14, 2024 at 12:24 am #431679HelcatParticipantHi Seaturtle!
Thank you for your kindness and understanding! I’m glad that you heard about the family emergency.
I was happy to see that you are still around too. I really enjoyed talking to you. 😊
Haha! I’m loving the ocean metaphors and seeing you in higher spirits.
I’m sorry to hear that you were alone while you were in hospital. That’s really scary! You were very brave getting through that alone. Well done on attending your first hot yoga class since surgery. Since you are feeling it now, I hope you get some rest when you can and take extra special care of yourself. ❤️
I’m going to write to you about the Buddhist stuff soon. Just got to find some time. I look forward to chatting more.
Wishing you all the best! ❤️🙏
April 14, 2024 at 10:23 am #431686seaturtleParticipantDear Anita,
” When you find yourself worried and ruminating about a situation, or a person, ask yourself if you can change the situation or the person in any way that’s objectively significant. If you can’t, ask yourself what’s the purpose of your ruminating.”
A current example I am actually ruminating is on one of my friends. I am not sure if it is the particular phase she is in, or if me entering this spiritual awakening journey has opened my eyes to a more permanent issue. My birthday is at the end of this month (Seaturtle turns 25! woo hoo 🙂 ) and my dads generous gift to me is a weekend at his palm springs home, where I can invite some girls, I have two friends I have been in contact with recently my roommate, and P, who I used to be closer with and her living in AZ is part of the reason I moved here! But ever since this guy she has been with, she is so negative, and she talks just so much, doesn’t allow a moment of silence. She cuts me off, I can hardly get a story out, I know way more about her life and minor inconveniences than she does about my personal life. She doesn’t listen when I talk she just waits to talk, and my patiences is falling away. In trying to be a good friend I have spent time with her and just allowed her to vent. But my birthday weekend in palm springs… is something I am finding myself wanting to control the energy of. My roommate is a good listener and in a much clearer headspace, fairly honest with herself and third eye definitely is fluttering open, my other friend, hers is closed, she lies to herself and excuses toxic behavior with her current partner. Out of habit I invited them both to palm springs, if I didn’t invite her it would have really hurt her feelings, but now I am finding myself want to have a talk with her about the things she says and how much she talks… my roommate has also pointed both of those things out but she has lots of patience, like me. Is this something that falls under my control? If so, do you have any advice on how to speak with her in a productive way/ an “objectively significant way? I know she has more potential, I have seen her third eye more open (I think, but this was before I started this deeper spiritual journey), it is certainly closed right now.
-In general, a good question, as I awaken my third eye and start to see people close to me in a more raw light, how do I manage it in a non-condescending way without allowing them to bring me down? Have you (anyone reading) experienced this?
Seaturtle
April 14, 2024 at 11:22 am #431689anitaParticipantDear Seaturtle:
Yes, you told me about P. Your roommate expressed to you that she prefers to spend time with you without P. If I was you, I would kindly (find a way) dis-invite P so that you can spend a pleasant woo-hoo birthday weekend with your roommate.
You can still talk with P about things, just not in a context where you are committed to be with her for an extended period of time, as in overnight/ whole weekend.
So, in this case of ruminating, if you commit to these situational solutions (1- disinviting her, 2- talking with her in a limited time and place context), there is no purpose to continue thinking on the topic, is there?
anita
April 15, 2024 at 12:41 am #431699HelcatParticipantHi Seaturtle!
Well done on describing your understanding of suffering, attachment and false selves! Buddhism is fascinating, isn’t it? Daoism and Confucianism are related and also very interesting.
Have you got any meditation practices? A large part of Buddhism are meditation practices. There are many to choose from with slightly different intentions.
I don’t know if you’ve heard of Traditional Chinese Medicine? It’s a practice that is designed to treat these blockages within the body. Some things that can cause blockages are bad diet, environment (wind, rain, cold), lack of exercise, lack of sleep, exposure to toxins (weed for example), stress, anger is considered a particularly harmful emotion for the body. The aim is to create balance within the body.
False selves. The way I think of it is that anyone we spend a great deal of time around. We learn their traits. Good or bad. Because of our experiences, we are conditioned to behave in certain ways. As adults we have some control, over how we change. Who we choose to spend time with. Buddhism is great at unpicking things and helping you to choose what you’d like to keep and let go.
Rumination for example, would be a good example of false selves. All of the negative self talk and fear. A conditioned response, where we default to a learned pattern in times of stress.
Buddha nature, we all have sparks of the divine within us, but our learned behaviours take over a lot. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it is expected. We are not monks and have to live in the world. A lot of Buddhist practices are designed for monastery life. So it’s hard to get too deep into it, but definitely helpful for lessening suffering.
Surrendering and accepting things as they are is difficult! I always resist. I’m stubborn as a mule!
Not being able to fix someone’s internal world… It’s true, only they can. Mostly because a large part involves changing deeply held beliefs.
But you can try and help and if people are ready then can learn. I think memories are really fantastic tools. My therapist taught me a lot and while I was in therapy I would say I don’t know about that and disagree with her sometimes. Then years later, I would find myself reflecting on those old sessions and realising that she was correct. And some of these books about Buddhism. If you come back to them in a couple of years. Parts will make sense that didn’t make sense before.
I think it’s part of this idea, that the only thing we can control is ourselves and our reactions and actions.
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
Wishing you all the best! 🙏❤️
April 15, 2024 at 1:48 pm #431716seaturtleParticipantDear Anita,
“If I was you, I would kindly (find a way) dis-invite P so that you can spend a pleasant woo-hoo birthday weekend with your roommate.”
This is what I want to do, but I am afraid of losing P as a friend if I do that, that I would be being a bad friend, wouldn’t I be?
“1- disinviting her, 2- talking with her in a limited time and place context”
I will start with option 2 and go from there. I have a feeling she will get defensive and if she does, and cannot see her negative behavior and commit to working on it, then I will attempt to disinvite her. It would be easier if I could have a conversation with her and she could remove herself from the trip, with awareness that she is not in a good place that would add to an environment. If I were feeling drained and negative, I would not want to suck the life out of a friends birthday weekend. Worst case scenario is that she acknowledges it and says she will do her best and still wants to come… how to work with that is my next question.
I understand the concept of either letting go, trying to change it or removing myself, anything beyond that is insanity.
Seaturtle
April 15, 2024 at 2:27 pm #431717seaturtleParticipantDear Helcat,
I wrote to you yesterday and for some reason the post is waiting for moderation.. I am not sure why.
“Have you got any meditation practices?”
Yes! For the past 5 years, whenever I have felt myself in a streak of anxiety for more than a few days I have used the app, Headspace, to guide me through morning mediations. There I learned to meditate through going into my body, as well as visualizing a light coming from the sky through the top of my head and glowing out of me as far as I could visually stretch it. Since researching Buddhism, I have learned about meditation through self reflection, before I didn’t realize this was a type of mediation, but I had been doing it before, as is obvious with my posting on here in general. I have also practiced empty mind meditation. This morning particularly I woke up from some negative dreams and attempted to meditate to wake my third eye, I just focused on the space between my eyes, thought of the wisdom it brought, then decided to have some tea with it. I am not sure if there is a more effective meditation practice to open the third eye (aka my ability to see things as they truly are)?
“I don’t know if you’ve heard of Traditional Chinese Medicine? “
I have not, but would like to learn! Last year I did not eat well, lots of takeout, weed was involved, and so was an abrupt move from moderate weather and seasons, to intense heat and dryness. Stress and sleep trouble were also involved. I am still on a self reflection journey to see what happened to me last year, why I felt/was so unconscious. Although I did lots of art in that time, I wonder if consciousness is apart of that, or if art is meditative?
“Buddhism is great at unpicking things and helping you to choose what you’d like to keep and let go.”
This is one of the reasons I am seeking out Buddhist teachings, because I want to let go. Although I have some fear around what those things are, my messages here to Anita have been about my long time friend, P, who since being on this journey, has seemed like part of what I may need to let go. But I have thoughts like “what if she is just that way because of …. right now, and will wake back up, I shouldn’t give up on her?” “Doesn’t being a good friend/family member mean to stick by someone through the lows?” When to release.
“False selves. … A conditioned response, where we default to a learned pattern in times of stress.”
How do I detect when it is my false self wanting to make a decision, or me, and if there is this separation… then who is me? If false selves have conditions and preferences, does “me/I” have preferences too? That is a big question I have had on this journey. I was feeling artsy one day and built this shelf in my room, it is painted sage green and has pink flowers all over it, I put some plants and a jewelry box inside. After I made it I thought “that is my style/ my aesthetic, it resonates with me and I love it.” A short time after, I got to the portion of Michael Singers teachings about false selves and it made me wonder…is that piece of art just an accumulation of what I have “falsely” identified with in my life? If so, what even is my art…the expression of false selves?
“A lot of Buddhist practices are designed for monastery life. So it’s hard to get too deep into it, but definitely helpful for lessening suffering.”
This is what I have suspected. I do not want to be a perfectionist about it because that is just another false self entering the equation. It is hard to live by certain things and not bother others.. if you see someone acting as a false self, asking you to do something, do you say no and call them out, ignore them or just do it?
“Surrendering and accepting things as they are is difficult! I always resist. I’m stubborn as a mule!”
Hahaha, I am stubborn too, although I identify more with a seaturtle, the sign given to me by the stars is a Bull, and I can’t argue with that.
“And some of these books about Buddhism. If you come back to them in a couple of years. Parts will make sense that didn’t make sense before.”
I can totally see this being true, it has already happened to me, this is the third time I read Untethered soul and it took till this time for me to actually see that Surrendering is the answer. Also, The Power of Now, I was given that book when I was 17 and I remember wanting to understand it so badly but I was just rereading the same thing over and over. But now I read and understand which is validating to growth!
Seaturtle and Bull
April 15, 2024 at 3:17 pm #431720anitaParticipantDear Seaturtle:
This is what you wrote yesterday about P: “she is so negative, and she talks just so much, doesn’t allow a moment of silence. She cuts me off, I can hardly get a story out… She doesn’t listen when I talk she just waits to talk, and my patience is falling away. In trying to be a good friend I have spent time with her and just allowed her to vent“.
Today, you wrote in regard to my suggestion to disinvite P to the weekend celebration of your birthday: “This is what I want to do, but I am afraid of losing P as a friend if I do that, that I would be being a bad friend, wouldn’t I be?”-
– if you don’t disinvite her and suffer her presence during your birthday weekend (enduring her negative, on and on venting, etc.)), then you’d be a bad friend to you, wouldn’t you?
And you’d be losing you, wouldn’t you?
To be a true self (not a false self) means being a good friend to you, to not lose you.
You wrote that you plan to talk with P: “I have a feeling she will get defensive and if she does, and cannot see her negative behavior and commit to working on it, then I will attempt to disinvite her. It would be easier if I could have a conversation with her and she could remove herself from the trip”– you are afraid of being your true, assertive self, so you are hoping that she (P) will make the right choice for you. Your false self is scared to be proactive, it prefers to be reactive (to leave it up to P).
To be one’s authentic/ true self means to be assertive and kind, not one or the other.
anita
April 15, 2024 at 4:35 pm #431687seaturtleParticipantHelcat,
“I really enjoyed talking to you. “
Ditto!! 🙂
“I hope you get some rest when you can and take extra special care of yourself. “
Yes I will, that is what today is for. I am going to try and rescue my orchid plant and maybe do some painting if I feel inspired.
Seaturtle
April 16, 2024 at 1:01 am #431736HelcatParticipantHi Seaturtle
I think posts get reviewed when they are long?
I feel like you are a very kind, thoughtful and wise person Seaturtle. It’s wonderful to hear your insights.
It’s great to hear that you practice meditation! The headspace app is great. I enjoyed their Netflix stuff too.
There is a Buddhist meditation I read about that you may find interesting to try. You may have come across something similar before. It’s good for when you notice that your false self arises, say when you are feeling triggered or ruminating. When these things happen, you can notice feelings of stress arising in your body. For me, my breathing might change, heart rate might increase, parts of the body might tense up. The idea is to notice these feelings in your body one by one and sit with the feeling, give it an opportunity to relax and open up.
I feel like any meditation that helps you to feel love and calm is a good way to see things as they are.
Buddhism has a lot of information about seeing things as they are. The idea is that everyone has their own unique perspective. Different people are hurt by different things for example. Then there is the circumstance as it is without emotion. Like if a tree fell in a forest with no one around. The truth is all of these things make a whole. So practicing seeing the whole is a good idea.
I would say that the easiest way to tell if you are falling into patterns of your false self would be to reflect on your emotional state. Are you feeling calm? If so, probably not. If you are feeling stressed, then it’s possible. Do your thoughts remind you of anyone you know? Have you heard something similar before? Remember the absorbing patterns from other people and experiences.
A lot of things that my mothers said to me when I was a child pop up when I’m feeling stressed. But my mind presents it to me initially as if I’m saying it. When I remember that they used to say something similar it helps me to realize that it isn’t me, but a memory.
I think that stress bringing out these false patterns can make us act against our nature.
For example, I value kindness and understanding. But when I’m feeling triggered my thoughts become distrusting, feeling like people are intentionally hurting me and become defensive. You see my pattern of the false self?
I’m not sure if you’ve tried this with your negative friend, but I find this to be helpful when interacting with negative people. I start by asking how they are letting them express their feelings and talking about themselves for a few minutes. Then after that I don’t respond to their negativity and change the subject every time they talk about things like that.
I love rereading these books that always have new insights to be found.
Wishing you all the best! 🙏❤️
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