January 12, 2014 at 3:35 am #48955
I started this message three times but on all times I wasn’t happy with it. Basically I’m unhappy at the school I go to now, it makes me feel stupid and worthless. Luckily I found a new field to study and when I think about it it fills me with such happiness and peace of mind. That kind of happiness is only achieved when you do something you love. These feelings are mirrored by how my current school makes me feel; stupid and worthless. I’ll be quitting this school to apply to the other one this summer, but summer is still long way ahead and I need help to get through these few months.
I don’t really know how to feel or what to do. It’s a struggle to wake up at mornings to go lectures that don’t interest me at all, but then I feel guilty for not going or I’ll feel stressed and anxious because I think I’m an idiot because I don’t master this one field.
I really wanted this new year to be a change for me to embrace myself and be happy. But I feel this one thing is a huge wall that I don’t how to get through other than to wait for it to crumble. This is the first time I’m asking help for something like this.
I’ll be thankful to anyone who read this.January 12, 2014 at 4:09 am #48956memmParticipant
It all really come down to your point of view; for example it’s too easy to say that the lectures don’t interest you “at all”, perhaps there’s at least some part of it that is interesting? Otherwise you can just go there to socialise, or to sketch the lecturer’s annoying face and practice your drawing skills.
Situations are whatever we make of them, good and bad. Nothing is ever going to be so perfect that you’re going to be constantly interested / entertained, you have to find those things yourself and sometimes you have to get creative while looking.January 12, 2014 at 5:32 am #48959
Thank you for answering. I really do appreciate it.
There really isn’t much of anything that’s interesting anymore. It’s been like this for about 6 months now. When I go there I’m almost ashamed about how little I understand or how little it interests me. Then I just feel inferior to others.
But you’re right. It’s what I make of it. I know that life isn’t always exciting or interesting. But I also know that it should be better than this and I have made the first step to make it better. Now I just basically have to wait.January 12, 2014 at 7:22 am #48961memmParticipant
I actually think life can just about always be interesting if you keep an open mind, like I said sometimes it just takes some out of the box thinking, but it can be done.
It’s also great that you’re taking steps to go for the things you enjoy doing, that’s honestly really awesome.
There’s absolutely no reason to feel inferior either, those people are doing their own thing and you’re doing your own, that’s all there is to it. Just be your own person. Try thinking less about how little interest your current situation holds and more about how you can use that time / space to your advantage instead, I’m sure you can find something good if you put your mind to it.January 12, 2014 at 9:34 am #48967LindsayParticipant
Can I ask why you are sticking it out this semester? It seems to be still early enough to drop your classes. And I’m not suggesting that you should drop them. More wondering why you aren’t. Are these classes that you’ll get transfer credit for at the new school? Will it look bad on your upcoming application that you dropped this semester? No place else to go? Family would be furious if you dropped out? I think the reason could be the key to making it more bearable. I say this because I dropped out of college for semester because I was miserable. Ended up going back. I still hated it, but at least I understood my reasons for sticking it out and knew that it was temporary. It helped.
So, if you are going to be getting transfer credit or using this semester on your application to the new school, I think that could provide some motivation to do a good job and stay focused. I know how hard it is to stay focused for 4 months when you are completely unhappy. But look at the grand scheme. If you spend 4 years in college, 4 months isn’t so bad. It sucks, but keep the big picture in mind. This is also how I got through studying for LSAT while working full time, and how I got through studying for the bar exam. I just kept reminding myself that 2-3 months isn’t THAT long in the grand scheme of things. And if I really bust my ass now, I’ll never have to do it again.
You also might think about creating a vision board to hang by your desk, or to create on in a journal. With phrases and pictures to motivate you and remind you WHY you are doing all of this. To inspire you. To keep the long term goal in mind.
Also, see if there are non-school activities that you can get involved in. Check out meetup.com. Maybe there is a meditation group? hiking group? book club? club for foodies? It will help you get away from the oppressive atmosphere that you are currently in.January 12, 2014 at 12:59 pm #48973
Thank you again, I will keep that in mind.January 12, 2014 at 1:08 pm #48974
Thank you for answering Lindsay.
The reason why I’m sticking it out is because my apartment is pretty much tied to my school. So if I were to quit school I would almost certainly loose my apartment also. Even if I moved to my parents’ it would be very difficult to find a job anywhere. At first I was really afraid to tell my parents about it but in the end they were really supportive and their support has helped me alot.
I love the be active and I do run and go to the gym often. An injury has kept me from doing brasilian jiu-jitsu but I’m soon starting physio for that and hopefully it’ll help. Lifting has been my escape for past few weeks.
You’re also right. 5 more months isn’t that long of a time. But during those lectures where your mind wonders to places beyond comprehension even minutes feel like hours.
Thank you again for answering, you’ve given lot to think about.