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Takes two to tango

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  • December 20, 2015 at 6:01 pm #90042
    jock
    Participant

    I watched this youtube clip and a guy was saying that the victim of a narcissist is just as guilty as the narcissist. he calls them “pathetic”.
    I think the other term is codependant?
    OK here’s what I think he was saying. If you allow a narcissist to control you or dominate you in conversation or behaviour, you are “pathetic”. Also he said that the “pathetic” was just a passive version of a narcissist. The “pathetic” wants control too but in a more manipulative way. The “pathetic” is quite likely to come on to a site like Tiny Buddha and by playing victim, gain sympathy and support. The reality is they need to address their own weaknesses.
    Don’t mean to point the finger to anyone here by the way.

    • This topic was modified 8 years, 4 months ago by jock.
    December 20, 2015 at 7:10 pm #90049
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jack:

    Of course, my first thought is that you are pointing a finger at me. A finger is pointed, I think it is at me. Is it? Is it, Jack? Am I a narcissist? Am I pathetic? (shaking uncontrollably)
    anita

    December 20, 2015 at 7:42 pm #90054
    jock
    Participant

    Come on anita, a child is a different matter.
    I mean when we are fully grown adults.

    December 20, 2015 at 7:46 pm #90057
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I was being funny, Jack, trying real hard. Except that the part where I wrote that I think it is me when a finger is pointed with disapproval, that part is true.

    Funny Me.

    December 20, 2015 at 8:05 pm #90071
    jock
    Participant

    that’s a relief
    can you tango by the way?

    December 20, 2015 at 8:35 pm #90087
    Anonymous
    Guest

    No, I cannot tango. I cannot dance at all, not in a box, not with a fox; not in the rain, not on a train; I cannot tango here or there; hey, I cannot tango anywhere.

    P.S. I am going to give you a warning next time I attend to be funny. I have referred to myself as humor challenged for a reason.
    anita

    December 20, 2015 at 8:52 pm #90094
    who
    Participant

    HAhahaha!
    To: Anitai It’s not that you can’t tell jokes, maybe you just need to work on your delivery..
    And as for the little (tango) rhyme or poem, very cool if it’s your own. Reminds me of the classic DR. Seuss short stories. Have you ever thought about publishing children books or poems for adults?

    And as for your post Jack, before I can fully reply, can someone simply explain what a narcissist is? I’m going to look it up right now.
    and Thank You!

    December 20, 2015 at 9:12 pm #90097
    jock
    Participant

    A narcissist, among other things has no empathy for you or anyone. Can’t make him or her feel guilty. They make themselves the centre of the universe and convince you that, you must attend to their needs.
    I’m not bashing people who feel victims by the way. I feel a victim often and lack strategies to deal with strong personalities. But I have to take some responsibility for dealing with such “difficult” people. I probably appear as the “difficult one” to other people. I’m borderline passive aggressive sometimes.

    December 20, 2015 at 9:15 pm #90098
    jock
    Participant

    December 20, 2015 at 9:54 pm #90107
    who
    Participant

    (narcissist)-boaster-self aggrandizer-egotist-conceited-self observer-vain.

    Not to sure If I’m understanding it fully. Sorry! but my brain works differently when it comes to understanding things.

    I feel like from early stages of our lives into adulthood we all are aka pathetic meaning we weren’t just born leaders or with confidence.
    We all fall down and get back up till we learn how to be confident or aka narcissist.
    From an early age most of us had schooling at a time in our life. Taking orders and obeying teachers good or narcissist because we had to.
    I mean even most narcissist have to take orders from egotistic bosses, or husband and wife, mom or dad, etc. so does that make him or her pathetic?
    Or worse off because they want to be incontrol?
    As people we look up to and idolize many famous people who flat out are controlling, rude, etc. from sports, to music, artist you name it. So to guy on youtube, does that make him and all of us weak pathetic people, because we embrace it!

    Symbolism, race, different cultures, states, judges, cops, wars, sports, landmarks, to me are all part of it. Meaning everyone looking down on the other for bragging rights trying to out do the other. World wide..
    And yes the guy is a bit right on youtube. Meaning that anyone can fix themselves when they dig deep and seek out wanting to help self!
    But we are not put on this planet to be alone, or there would only be one person here.
    We are not pathetic because we seek help or want people to listen. Truth is we all want to be heard.. Example That guy on youtube no different than the aka pathetic. Because he’s blah blah blahing about what bugs him with pathetic people. Why because he wants to be heard and needs feedback for his actions to be guided in some way.
    Maybe narcissist is just another word for bullying… Not everyone knows how to stand up for themselves! different stokes for different folks!

    December 20, 2015 at 9:58 pm #90108
    who
    Participant

    Nice Jack! this one was tuff! made me think hard.

    December 20, 2015 at 10:19 pm #90110
    jock
    Participant

    Good, good, good who!
    You made me think deeper about this too. I tend to be a fan of this guy on youtube because he is funny but maybe he is wrong here. You make some excellent points!
    a great song is “who are you?” by “the who”, by the way.

    December 20, 2015 at 10:23 pm #90111
    who
    Participant

    The guy on youtube is right about (FEELING OUR FEELINGS).

    December 20, 2015 at 10:37 pm #90114
    who
    Participant

    I agree. You made me think deep!
    I don’t think the guy on youtube is wrong, just needs to be worded differently, and more thoughtout! Only because this is a very touch-e subject for people. such as myself.
    The (WHO) another song I will have to check out! The only song I know from them is BOB O”Riley. Great song by the way.

    December 20, 2015 at 10:47 pm #90116
    who
    Participant

    If you can go onto youtube and look up

    Basic Principles of Buddhism
    by Thailandvisualguide

    I really like it, simple but strong.

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