Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→The Loop Without an End
- This topic has 6 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 7 months ago by
Eishita Chhetri.
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January 27, 2014 at 11:17 am #49806
Eishita Chhetri
ParticipantHi,
I’m Eishita, I’m 16 years old.
I’m new to this site and I really love the artworks and articles because they are so true and help me out a lot.
Well, I’m an emotional person (Cancerian after all) with a confused mind and a persona different from what I really am.
My mood fluctuates daily and therefore one day I am highly practical and on the top of the world, the other day I am emotional and depressed.
I have this inferiority complex in me that doesn’t help me proceed in anything. In fact I have these mood cycles which go like – I feel useless, I get highly depressed, I see others better than myself, I isolate myself, I do some self reflection, I read some articles, I get inspired, I am fine, then again I see some flaw or someone points out something wrong in me and I go back to the beginning. I’ve tried breaking through it multiple times, but the loop never ends. If someone could please help me find a way out. Another thing is that when I get into these depression phrases, I become very rude and hurt my loved ones. If anyone could help me balance my emotions that would be of great help. Thanks!January 27, 2014 at 10:51 pm #49866Mark
ParticipantHi Eishita,
Welcome to this forum/site. I suspect mood swings are partially the product of your age and the associated changes that are happening with your body and mind.I have learned that it takes time to change our thinking and behavior. I would say hang in there. Note and celebrate the good times. When you get your lows, go to your gratitude journal and take note of what is good about you and your life.
Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge what is special about you.
Metta,
MarkJanuary 28, 2014 at 1:45 am #49875Alf
ParticipantYou’re only seeing others as better than yourself because you’re judging them and yourself against false standards set by society and drongos in general. No one should ever feel useless or inferior to any other human because there is no right or wrong, there’s just situations and adaptability – E.G. today’s image based standards say being fat is “wrong”, yet only a few hundred years ago when food wasn’t plentiful being fat was “right”.
So try and avoid comparisons and ignore these standards as the majority which usually set them often change their mind anyway. Just try and calm your head of thoughts, center yourself and embrace your passions. You’re still young and life is all about being the best you can and being all which YOU are. Concentrate on fulfilling that great potential and ignore what others would think or make of it, in 5 years time their standards may not even be relevant.
January 28, 2014 at 5:42 am #49887Eishita Chhetri
ParticipantThanks a lot! 🙂 I feel better
January 29, 2014 at 1:49 am #49922Priscilla
ParticipantHi Eishita,
This is just my two cents but I have found that in breaking the cycle of self-sabotage, the only person who can help us is ourselves. That is not to say that encouragement and kind words don’t help, they do. Supporting friends, family, or even strangers such as ones you’ll find here would definitely make the process less hard.
However, in my experience, I can only, truly break free if the change is internal as opposed to external. I don’t know what causes you to feel the way you do but most often than not, it’s because we are chasing some ideals that perhaps don’t even come out from yourself (as mentioned by Alf).
When I was your age, I also went through some emotional upheaval. My method was to become a hermit (not literally, I just really limit myself to interactions that were necessary such as class, etc. It’s not for everyone but it worked for me. I needed that time away from everyone and everything, or simply, I needed to tune out external disturbances and listen to my inner soul. It really helped me find myself, a center that grounds me.
Nowadays, there are far too much distractions. Just make sure you find time to really explore and understand your feelings. Don’t resist them, just feel them, listen to them, get to know yourself better. Feelings are what you subconscious is trying to tell you.
Cheers & Love!
January 29, 2014 at 4:55 am #49926The Ruminant
ParticipantHello Eishita,
I just joined this forum and was about to write my first post, but felt compelled to respond to you first 🙂
I have this view/theory on trying to conquer negative thoughts with positive affirmations: it doesn’t stop the negativity, but it just introduces another voice into the mix. So there’s going to be a battle between two separate voices, each telling you a different truth. This can feel like an endless circle or constantly bouncing back and forth between two extremes.
My view on meditation is that it’s the time when you silence those voices completely. All of them. You stop verbalizing things and explaining to yourself what’s going on. You simply experience things without creating a story about the experience. To me, it’s been a real blessing to learn how to do that, and it can be learned with a bit of practice. The momentary relief from the chatter is wonderful. That’s when it’s easier to see that life is actually pretty neutral. You are neither good nor bad and there is no such thing as “not good enough” or “better than others”. To be able to compare, you need words, and if the words are taken away, you’ll exist in a space where everything is as it should be, and there’s no better or worse.
So I would propose that you take a moment and just try to stop verbalizing what you’re feeling, seeing, hearing… For example, look around you and allow your senses to gather information, but don’t start analyzing it. If you see a glass, just see it and don’t start telling yourself “that is a glass”. I know you will, but just try to practice being aware that you constantly produce words that explain to you what’s happening. Then try to let go of that for a moment and just be. Allow your surroundings to just be as well, without attaching descriptions to everything. You’ll get better at it with practice.
It’s honestly a really good skill to have, because you can then create serenity when it’s needed. The purpose is not to stop feeling, and there’s nothing wrong with being emotionally sensitive to the events in your life. That is just one of your great abilities. The point is to stop ruminating over the pain (yes, I see the irony of my nickname) and creating an identity based on a passing thought. The point is to let go of words that are hurtful and not internalize them. Not only the ones that your own mind creates, but also those that pass the lips of other people. With social media, it’s so common to just blurt out every passing thought without actually thinking of the consequences or whether the words are true or not. As a result, we have masses of people stuck in a cycle of being hurtful and getting hurt. It’s good to give yourself a moment of rest from all that.
Since our identities also rely on words, it can feel a bit weird when there’s no way to describe what you feel and who you are, but rest assured: you’ll not disappear. You’ll just have another view on what reality actually is without some of the constructs of the mind. You might realize your own power and how limiting words can be. You can also put it all in perspective, because you have the power over the words, not the other way around. They are a tool for you to use, not shackles that describe your existence.
You’re much more powerful than you realize and will ever be able to describe 🙂 We all are!
Cheers,
ArmiFebruary 1, 2014 at 11:44 am #50126Eishita Chhetri
ParticipantWell, thanks Priscilla. I do try that out. I try to exclude myself out and find some peace in being alone, and it helps too but after sometime, this feeling again comes back.
Ruminant, thanks for replying! ^_^ It’s difficult to live a moment without thinking. My mind is always working, comparing, making hypothesis, so I become very anxious. I guess meditation will help a lot. I do need to learn how to relax my mind. Yeah, correct. Feelings can’t be described in words, nor can we be 🙂-
This reply was modified 10 years, 7 months ago by
Eishita Chhetri.
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This reply was modified 10 years, 7 months ago by
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