I think we do need to have a serious conversation about everything. Are you supposed to know 100% that you want to marry this person? Sometimes I have doubts and wish he would be different. The problem is is that he doesn’t even see that he needs to treat me better or appreciate me more. Even when I tell him exact moments where I feel disrespected or unappreciated it doesn’t change. Or are my standards and expectations too high? Or have I gone too easy on this boy and we have gotten comfortable? I don’t want a perfect guy who only thinks of me all day but I want someone that knows when they have a good thing in their life when they do and will do anything to keep it. But I think it’s only human to take something for granted and always be thinking the grass is always greener.

We talked and he is thinking about moving here! It’s great! Some of my worries are that I won’t have enough time to date other guys before he moves here. I force myself to date others but I want to be 100% sure I’m in the right relationship. I guess there is no sure thing but if there are red flags in the beginning, I don’t want to look back and be like oh yeah it was obvious! But how do you know? I just want to be with someone not thinking about if this is how a relationship is supposed to be or if there is someone else better for me out there . . . I love him so much but I just want him to see me as a prize and sometimes I don’t feel like that. He is just a man and I know I can’t expect everything from him. it’s just my dad was such a great dad and husband that my sister and I have always had this problem. We are never fully satisfied in our relationships. But my mom says it’s just us not finding a way to be content.

I know this is a whole other problem but your advice was so good and exactly what I needed to hear, even if I did not want to.

Thank you

This is such a sticky situation. I get why he moved. Young, not quite sure what to do and it’s an amazing city. But there is such a bad stigma on girls moving for boys, especially at the age we are at. I have always felt like I’ve had to gain his respect and keep him intrigued. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life tiptoeing around him hoping that he still wants me after a few years. I don’t know if I’m over analysing. But I also didn’t want him to date me for 7 years and then marry me because I have always been there and this seems right.

He still might move to me in a few months. But still, I’m not sure. Nothing is definite. He isn’t giving me a straight answer and I’m afraid to even bring it up. I feel like I almost have to play it cool and act like I don’t really care to make him interested. Idk if its the situation or if it’s the way boys minds work. They want to earn something and work hard for it. If I am waiting here, telling him every day that I want him to move here and miss him so much, I think he is the type of boy that would run away from that.

He still doesn’t know how much I’m worth to him and that makes me feel unappreciated and disrespected. I want someone that is making plans and telling me clearly what they want and how they are going to make it happen. I still feel like an option to him. But I have to be fair because moving for someone is a big deal. And it kind of makes you feel like crap! lol

I’m still feeling so regretful on not giving this relationship and the new city a longer chance. I rushed it hoping that I would figure it out quickly before I messed up more of my twenties. I was so focused on what I was losing other than what I would gain from the experience. I just want a time machine to go back! And it is a horrible feeling to live with. I love this guy, I could have made it work. I worked so hard to move there and then so quickly everything happened for me to move back. Now, I feel like I’m just going to regret it all for the rest of my life.

I just wish I could go back. I don’t know if I’m in denial and worried that I’ll never find a guy again that makes me feel amazing and adventurous. I don’t want to live where I am right now even though my family and friends are here.

The guy right now is trying to get over me it feels like. He visited me a month ago and it was great! But now I feel like he needs space and we are still in this time where either of us knows what to do.

I just don’t know if I should put down more roots here or just jump and make the leap back to the new city.