The loss of money wouldn’t sting so badly, except for I had just purchased a new rifle at the suggestion of law enforcement that came out to about $1,900.00. A nice piece of kit, but yeesh at the combination.

Was also looking at going on a trip, but wound up bailing on that idea, and now looking at something shorter just to get out of town. Perhaps I over-reacted in response to the money thing, who knows. Amusingly, the closest way to get “out-of-town” to any significant city is to go up to Canada. It’s also much cleaner… I miss how this State used to be when I moved up here.

Just not very good at being happy I guess. Have a history of depression. I don’t usually try new things anymore because stuff always seems to be a disappointment. People generally tend to be disappointments as well. Basically, most of that which exists seems to be disappointing. Kind of at a state of apathy.

Hard to say. In my line of work, I get lied to just about every day that I am at work. Based on some of the posts on these fora, it appears that other people get lied to by folks about relationships, etc. Based on posts on these fora, it also seems that people aren’t willing to honor commitments and think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

With regard to crying defendants, the only thing they are sad about is getting caught. Psychopaths don’t give two hoots in hell about their victims, but they are really unhappy when the get caught. Also, research is showing that psychopaths don’t have the fear of consequences reaction that normal people do. So, being scared isn’t an issue. It’s all a sympathy scheme. And, yes, it does work with some judges. Personally, I don’t care if for example, the female multi-time drug dealer is on the stand crying about the fact that she has to go to prison for a long time; if it really bothered her, she should have stopped dealing after getting caught a few times before.

I truly don’t know what to think. That one gal who seemed happy to see me, apparently not so much. I think that people will express interest until they get what they want, and then move on. I think that people will make things appear to be a certain way, regardless of what the real situation is. Perhaps that is why I have never found a significant other, but having a hell of a time finding a reason to trust people.

Anita, not sure what you mean by didn’t respond, interact, etc. with those folks. I admit that I probably appeared tired and stressed, and didn’t have my “A” game on (hell, I don’t really even have a social “A” game), but I didn’t sit there like a bump on a log. I average 12 hour work days excluding lunch, I get tired, sometimes even to the point where 12 cups of coal black coffee do nothing. Simply because I look tired doesn’t mean I don’t care, it just means that I’m tired.

Showed up late to the one lunch with the most recent woman, when it was agreed on to meet the next day at the same time, and the time I encountered her at the start of the conversation was ~12:25 (when she entered the restaurant), I figured that she was talking 12:25ish. When I arrived at 12:25ish, was surprised to find out that she meant noon and was done eating. I probably should have verified the time, but it’s not like I had the exact time and just decided to show up late.

With the other one canceled one of three lunches due to stuff popping up at work. Was late for the first one, but as she could see, I got stuck in a court proceeding that just would not end (traffic infraction court no less). She was literally standing outside the door of the courtroom. You can’t just tell the judge that you have something else that you would like to do, and you can’t tell the defendants to stop blathering about inane “defenses” to his/her conduct. Hell, I even called her and let her vent about work stuff, etc.

In both cases, we met, talked. Asked about them, etc. I did check the time periodically, but that is something I do generally at lunch anyway, since it’s usually an hour break. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t come to a screeching halt for either of us simply because it was decided to have lunch together. Would I have loved to have spent the afternoon with either of them without any concern for time, yes. But, unfortunately, that’s not how things work.

So, at a loss as to what responding/interacting means.

Anita:

Very, very funny about the judge and my social life. He/she doesn’t care. They care about their social lives, and sometimes the social lives of criminal defense attorneys (i.e. will continue if defense has a vacation planned). They don’t give two hoots in hell about attorneys working for the State, we are fungible items. Amusingly, the state supreme court is more likely to grant extensions of time than the local trial courts are.

I remember getting told by the first woman that she didn’t think my schedule would allow such things as travel out of the country. I don’t get it. One out of three lunches gets axed because I got a flaming sack of feces on the desk, and one was delayed due to getting trapped in court. It’s not like I never showed up for any of them. What am I supposed to say? Sorry Officer Bob, your search warrant paperwork to recover the weapon just used in “X” will have to wait because I have a lunch date?

I get suspicious of people who are always immediately available. Stuff happens. If you aren’t busy, less stuff happens. Think of the women who post on these fora about how great husband/boyfriend was when they first met, etc., and then they discovered that the guy is basically lazy and worthless lout. Nobody ever stops to think how/why the guy can be so attentive, etc. early on? It’s easy to be attentive, etc. when you don’t have anything going on and you see a gravy train approaching.

I mean really, what would be better to have as a significant other… one of those pot-head types, somebody who is , or somebody who probably works too much and is pessimistic but is faithful and actually contributes financially?

And, what is “enough” time? I was working with a detective on a significant new case that needed to get dealt with ASAP. His new wife called him asking when he was going to get home. Isn’t the obvious answer when the matter gets done? What does calling do other than increase the amount of time it takes to get the project done by creating a distraction?

I admit that I just don’t get the social thing. I am tired of being single at 39, but just am having a hell of a time conquering the social thing. I also don’t get the whole “happy” thing, and am apparently good at “killing” a room so-to-speak. Intense interest in changing the situation, but nothing works.

Passed the deadline of my goal of being in a relationship. Watching others find folks, but no clue how they are actually accomplishing that. I do know that I’m tired of being single.