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Tired of being single

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  anita 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #325899

    Grace
    Participant

    I am at the point of being tired that I’m single. I have been in literally no relationships. I’m 17 and  have never had any relationships. I honestly do not know why, I think part of it is that in the past whenever I got asked out I got kinda scared to actually go on dates but I’ve started to get more comfortable with that idea. I Just really want to share myself with someone, I want to have that someone I can talk to when I’m stressed or give them good news I’m happy about. I’m starting to feel like something is wrong with me. When I tell people I’ve never been in a relationship they get all shocked, I would like any advice for how to atleast meet people.. help?

    #325911

    Valora
    Participant

    I feel like 17 is awful young for people to be shocked that you’ve never been in a relationship, but I also know how people are so it’s not surprising. My niece turned 16 several months ago and just recently got her first boyfriend, and many of her friends have never dated anyone, so you’re really not too far behind. There’s definitely nothing wrong with you for not having dated yet.

    Do you feel comfortable talking to new people or do you tend to be shy or not know what to say? Are there a lot of people your age that you haven’t met in your area?

    #325933

    mysoulatpeace
    Participant

    Hello Grace,

    I like your name. Being a teenager is pretty challenging no matter what. As far as not being in a relationship yet…dont worry about it. I know several people who are well into their 30s and havent dated. That is much more of a issue, you have plenty of time. Start out talking with people your age and just seeing if you enjoy the time you spend talking with them. You can literally meet people anywhere. Try to pick positive places tho and not places where people arent positive. I am always around to talk. Take care.

    #326005

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Grace:

    In your May 2018, when you were 15 or 16, you shared: “there’s this guy I liked throughout the end of 8th grade until the beginning of 10th grade, it was always on and off type of thing.. he didn’t want a relationship but he wanted like a friends with benefits, sort of thing.. I was always .. shy on dates whenever we tried that out”-

    – was that a friends with benefits relationship, or a dating relationship?

    anita

    #326243

    Grace
    Participant

    I definitely have become more outgoing than where I was as a kid, but I still take a while to warm up to people. It is kind of frustrating because I seem to attract a certain type that I just do not see myself ever going out with, I get frustrated because my options are not what I want in someone. I’m sure its not just me but that seems to be what I’m getting rn, I used to get flirty interactions with people I actually liked but I think one person misread where I was at and kind of took advantage and I think I just sectioned myself off and started dressing more baggy/ frumpy to not draw attention to my body, which honestly I regret that I did that to myself. Recently though I’ve wanted to dress cuter for school but now that people see me in leggings and a hoodie all the time it draws attention to my body that I’m not 100% happy with. I just want to take care of myself and put myself out there more. And that guy it was a just talking kind of thing, like we were flirting back and forth and told each other our feelings and he got more with benefits on me and I was uncomfortable with that. I am trying to kinda get back out there relationship wise and friend wise because I have secluded myself unfortunately. I think I have fun with new people naturally and make a good impression but when it comes to like romantic stuff I’m cool over text and call but in person I work myself up and kind of freak out and panic.

    #326305

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Grace:

    You are currently living with your mother and her fiancé. Your parents divorced long ago and both dated other people over the years, throughout you growing up. At one point your mother was considering reversing a procedure so to get pregnant with a boyfriend, now an ex. There was a woman that broke your father’s heart and damaged your relationship with him.

    I wonder if there is a connection between this long history of your parents’ dating (and still, currently, you are living with one of your mother’s boyfriend) and your lack of dating. Do you think there is a connection and how have you felt all these years with your parents dating (and still, currently)?

    anita

     

    #326337

    Grace
    Participant

    There could be Im not sure what the connection does to my though. I think if anything my parent’s dating has served as an example for what to watch out for/ look for & etc

    #326339

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Grace:

    Elaborate on “what to watch out for/ look for & etc.”- if you want to. (Maybe it will help understanding your struggles better).

    anita

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