Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Too Criticizing of Myself
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January 27, 2016 at 7:34 pm #93999AnonymousGuest
Dear Shirley:
Keep getting to know that fascinating brain of yours, make the best use of it not only in academic studying but also in integrating emotions as sources of information about how you operate, how others operate and how to effectively function in this world…
anita
January 28, 2016 at 4:02 pm #94118JanusParticipantThanks anita, I realize I am not good at word problems especially ones about distance and setting up an equation or proportion based on the word problem so I’m currently working harder to understand physics honors. There are still some distance and velocity problems I’m not sure how to do, but I understand the basic ones since they are like basic algebra. The physics honors teacher explains things quite fast and not much in detail and it can be hard to figure out how two equations connect to each other, how to set up an equation according to the problem and what equation to use. Pre-calc is fun because i am good at algebra. i am still trying to pull my grades up in ap english and ap world history, so far I think have an 86 in history and 80 in english. It’s been only two days of the semester, but I can already feel some strain because there is competition between the other students who are also taking high level classes to get into a good college. I just hope I don’t get an 80 or less for my overall grade in any subject this semester. Most of the students in my physics honors class keep to themselves and everyone works by themselves and they all seem to have an understanding of how to approach most problems, sometimes I feel like it’s just me that needs some help, yet at other times I also see the other students asking the teacher also. I think the reason is that I still need time to get used to the teacher’s teaching style and also I am somewhat under pressure with the competition of other students. Also i have two really smart friends who are in my classes and we often talk about our classes and sometimes we compete with each other on our grades. The two friends are entertaining and supportive, yet we often tend to look up to whoever is currently doing the best in school. I am doing well in pre-calc and I have done well in chemistry honors, so in those fields I’m okay, yet right now I feel like like I also have to do well in physics honors, so I can feel like I’m in league with them. i am working on pulling my two ap classes grades up and keeping a good grade in physics honors.
January 29, 2016 at 10:44 am #94222AnonymousGuestDear Shirley:
When are your exams over? You are very engaged in your studies, very engaged and that is good. Do take time though to relax, to take time out from the pressures, if you can. We all need to do that, the human brain needs a break.. through aerobic exercise, yoga, Tai Chi, guided meditation, walks in nature, time with a pet… even a hot bath.
anita
January 29, 2016 at 1:58 pm #94249JanusParticipantap world history exam is may 12 and ap english is may 11. i also have pre-calc and physics honors finals on june 15 and 16 that is unless i have a 94 or above overall grade and can be exempt, it’s only been three days of this semester, so i’m not sure yet. there are also chapter and unit tests each week or successive week. on feb. 20th, i will be taking the SATs and possibly the ASVAB (military)on Feb. 3. the good thing is that my subconscious mind seems to be absorbing information quite well and i’ve been doing well on the practice tests. i also have a group of friends who help and encourage me; we study together and make each other laugh and also sometimes put pressure on each other when we compete with each other. my physics honors teacher has moved on to acceleration and i find that i understand the topic well. i am continuing to workout and eating healthy and meditating as well. i realized that i didn’t have to worry about being completely in league with my friends today because i mentioned to one of them that i was still working hard on physics honors and my ap classes and he said it was okay, that i didn’t have to be perfect and a genius, what matters is that i work hard. he realized that i can be hard on myself at times and that i always feel upset if i get an 80 or lower on a test and he made me laugh and with some other friends, we helped each other study and relieve some stress. the greatest thing about having smart friends is that you learn a lot and i have been scoring higher, remembering more things and building a more sophisticated vocabulary which helps me when we take tests.
January 29, 2016 at 2:07 pm #94251AnonymousGuestDear Shirley:
Obviously, too much pressure is counter productive, so when your parents stress your achievements only, that is too much pressure. When your friend said that you don’t have to be a genius and what is important is that you work hard, not that you get a perfect grade, that lowers the pressure and makes it possible to function better in every way. I wish your parents understood that!
Keep reaching out to supportive friends for comfort! And taking care of yourself with healthy eating, meditation and workouts! Good job!
anita
January 29, 2016 at 6:19 pm #94269JanusParticipantthanks, anita;) my parents continue to be criticizing and thinking i can’t function out on my own, but my three best friends, all guys, have taught me so much such as how to be confident and trust, first aid, computers, electricity, literature and vocabulary and they are helping me learn lots and i think my grades are improving. i’m currently debating with myself whether to switch pre-calc class to pre-calc honors. i think it would be good because in pre-calc now i’m learning about basic algebra and in pre-calc honors they start with pre-calc stuff like logarithms. i’m also thinking it would be good to do pre-calc honors because i took algebra 2 honors as a prerequisite and really enjoyed that class and the pre-calc honor class will boost my gpa. although, i missed 3 days of work, i’m sure i can catch up b/c i have a friend in lunch that is taking pre-calc honors and he is encouraging me to take it. he’s telling me to strive academically and improve my skills in math which i think is a good idea. i’ve been doing reiki and meditation and my subconscious mind has become quicker at processing things and calculating things and i have more psychic awareness. i can often sense or feel things before they come. such as i had a vision that i would see my pre-calc teacher in the morning right after i got of the bus playing aerosmith music and she was. the night before, i was talking to my day about cars and thinking about a lab in physics honors on acceleration, it turns out that happened today. i also can sense people’s emotions and intents and project positive thoughts out to help stressed people. it’s a great feeling to have people smile at me knowing that i helped them. also it is great to have such supportive friends who encourage me to step out of my boundaries a little and make me surprise myself with talents that i didn’t know i had. the negative side of switching pre-calc to pre-calc honors is that i will miss the teacher, i really like the teacher, she is humorous and comes up with great mnemonics for things so i will miss her. so i am debating to switch and boost my gpa, compete with my friends and also enhance my math skills or to stay with pre-calc and the people i’m starting to get to know and my teacher who i like, it seems like an emotional vs. educational challenge. if i don’t switch to a higher level, i will feel guilty for having a friend in pre-calc honors and won’t boost my gpa and will feel bad also because i know my friend knows i am doing well in math this year, so i can take the challenge. if i do switch, i will miss my teacher and possibly the two other friends i have who share classes nearby my pre-calc room. i feel like i’m being forced to make a decision between one friend vs. two and emotion vs. education and i am two-sided on this.
January 29, 2016 at 6:50 pm #94276AnonymousGuestDear Shirley:
If you can still learn a lot in pre-calc (not honors)- why not choose it over the Honors, since you like the teacher so much? The teacher is a very important, extremely important part of the learning experience…
anita
January 29, 2016 at 7:19 pm #94278JanusParticipantThanks, anita;) I have learned a lot about different types of symbols in set notation, multiplying and dividing scientific notation, although it is a review from basic algebra, it’s a good thing because it’s easy and the review refreshes my mind on topics. i think math and science are my favorites this year, although i am good at english and history sometimes it can be dry learning similar information again and it can be hard to write good essays. at least with math and science, you get hands-on experience with the real world and also it’s shorter to work with. my friends are teaching me all these cool shortcuts for math and physics honors. the one thing that makes me wonder is that i’ve made amends with the guy and now we are close friends again and yet he seems to want to be more than friends, yet i’m more focused on school these days and i’m not sure if a relationship is a good idea now.
January 29, 2016 at 7:41 pm #94280AnonymousGuestDear Shirley:
You sure are focused on school. Probably a good idea to be friends only with this guy and maybe over time, get to be closer friends, and maybe… later you can be involved as a girlfriend/ boyfriend. One step at a time.
For now you need lots of comforting support and maybe you can give that to each other, as friends. You can tell him what you need right now in a friend and ask him if he can be that for you..?
anita
January 30, 2016 at 10:54 am #94329JanusParticipantI just got a update from google chrome on my computer saying that it wouldn’t protect and secure Windows XP and Vista unless you upgrade your computer to MAC OS or something new, or you can download a new version of chrome, but that might cost money which is why lots of desktop computer user are really annoyed. Although, when I went to click on the update to learn more, it disappeared so I looked it up online and found that it had been in effect since april 2015 which why I think something is up with my computer status. So I think I will be taking the ASVAB earlier possibly this Thursday instead. I wanted to talk to him on Friday about it, but I had to comfort him instead because some people were bullying him in school. People can be so criticizing of people who are different especially him. he likes to act in plays and is always trying to make people laugh, but some people think he’s too childish because he is always loud and confident, yet i find him entertaining. i always feel bad when people don’t accept his character, he can be quite adventurous and rambunctious at times and start a couple of fights but he can be the most respectful person to people he cares about. i try don’t judge people by what they do or how they act when i first see them, i judge them by the way they make me feel and the sides that they show me. i’ve always found him to be an entertaining, athletic and caring person. i’ve looked past the surface of how he is loud and tries to seek attention and acknowledge that he has another side to him that others haven’t seen because they don’t know him well enough. my parents are always overly critical and they think that i am too working out and community service oriented. i enjoy meditation, yoga and helping people, but i always make sure i have a good high gpa first. having a 97.5 gpa right now, which may go up or down based on this years classes is great and taking a and honors classes are fun. i enjoy education and love learning new things. whenever i’m with friends,we talk about our lives, adventures and often the friends i choose are mostly the ones who are community service and working out oriented and also intelligent study buddies. they encourage me and even when we hang out, we mostly play sports, help the community in some way or talk about education. it’s great having the support of friends who have faith in your abilities and see your talents and it’s an even greater feeling knowing that you can learn from them and become a better person. i feel like my parents focus on my inadequacies more while my friends boost my confidence. about the guy i was talking about, he was the first best friend i had in seventh grade when i was bullied and isolated. he helped me feel better about myself and it is like he saved my life by bringing in the light and comfort when i was in the dark. he would always be there to comfort me, some of my friends think he may be my soul mate because we’ve known each other for 5 years. there are times when we can just look at each other and know what the other is feeling and thinking and we can feel when one of us is around the other like we have a spiritual connection.
January 30, 2016 at 10:58 am #94331JanusParticipantI admit that there were times me and him annoyed each other because we were still trying to build trust and even though we have many differences like he is more athletic and extroverted than i am, sometimes it just feels strange to be seen together because we have different personalities, yet we have a shared similarity of trying to live life to the fullest, speaking our thoughts and also enjoying science
January 30, 2016 at 11:06 am #94333AnonymousGuestDear Shirley:
What a special friend this guy is to you, and you to him. I like it that you look deeper than appearances and see deeper than the outside dimension to people … and concepts, and nature.
I like it that you choose friends who like you value community service, working out and education!
Your parents are unfortunately critical of you, this is a shame. As I wrote before, continue to look for connection with supportive friends, this is where health is, in being comforted, accepted, understood.
anita
January 30, 2016 at 1:24 pm #94343JanusParticipantThere are times when I am worried about my weight, health, education or just trying to live life. Meditation and working out always helps, it also helps to promote psychic awareness and increase brain speed and thinking because these days i think it takes less time for me to remember a concept and i can think quicker. i have realized that even though i’m not the best at math, i have an innate ability that helps me improve at it and also to help me get at least a 90 in math. also meditation has made me realize that i don’t like english and history as much as i used to and i like math and science more. he’s a great guy and there are some things i regret saying or doing to him because i was afraid of what others would think of me with him and iw was also afraid of who i would be when i was with him, i didn’t trust as easily in seventh grade after being betrayed so many times. yet he opened a new door in my life, there were times when he pretended he was a bully and he used that act to help me build my confidence to stand up for myself. he told me ‘i know that you think you are broken down and there’s nothing left of your self-esteem, but i have faith in you. i believe in you and i always will believe in you and be here for you. all you have to do is try and get out there instead of living in a hole secluded.it’s okay to not be perfect, but you can’t let fear and other people define who you are, you have to get out there and start living life.” he would sometimes sit with some people i didn’t know because he was really sociable and he would invite me to come over and sit with them. after doing a formal introduction, he would leave for a few minutes to talk with other friends and leave me there and tell me that i should make friends. at first this really annoyed me when he did this because i was really shy, but i at least said hi to the people, yet he would always come back and tell me to say more about myself, i think by the fifth time this happened, he pretended he was bullying me and a girl told him to stop it because she thought it was real and she came over to talk to me. i was really shy at first, but it was okay because she told me about herself and i made the decision to trust her, while i was talking to her, i could see him smiling at me from another table. i discovered that me and the other girl enjoyed camping and writing poetry and i had made a friend. one time when i was afraid that i wasn’t able to take the responsibility of the world and also afraid about my grades, he held me while i cried and told him that i was afraid that i would never be good enough in school, it was comforting to just have someone listen and support me. anyway, i don’t think i would have ever taken the risk to elevate my math grades if it weren’t for him. in ninth grade i took regular algebra 1A (half year) and got 97 in it, he and the teacher encouraged me to take geometry honors in 10th grade. I was afraid of taking that class because i didn’t think math was my strongest subject, but he told me to take the risk. geometry honors turned out to be hard while i was learning it, but i understand the concepts now. there were times when i wanted to switch out, when i got a 68 test i was worried that i should switch out, but he told me to keep trying. anyway, i ended with a 82 in that class and now i am taking steps to boost my math grade and actually enjoy math more. i don’t think i would have been that person if it weren’t for him. as for my friends right now, i am learning lots about finance, survival, first aid, electronics and i feel on more solid ground in life from them. it can still be draining to have parents who think i’m just book smart, but i think i’m learning some life skills this year in 11th grade. it’s good to have friends who accept who i am as a person and don’t think i have my head in the clouds when i talk about nature and meditation. i am still working on letting go of negative thoughts and the past, but my self-esteem is higher because i know there are people who accept and care about me as i care for them.
January 30, 2016 at 3:22 pm #94353JanusParticipantI just had an angel card reading and it was so insightful and it is like my life now;)
http://ask-angels-swellpress.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/plugins/destinycards/images/41.jpg
right hand dominant- protector
left hand recessive- messenger of heaven, sensitivity
front uriel- “light of god”, spiritual path, guidance, life’s purpose
behind raphael- leaving past behind, leaving healing on the world, archangel raphael healing with green light, hands on backI think it is time to go for my spiritual path and spread healing.
January 31, 2016 at 8:33 am #94385AnonymousGuestDear Shirley:
I didn’t understand much about your latest post, the short one right above, but the one before it, what a delight to read, how this special friend helped and is helping you, what a resource, and what a great teacher he has been for you. He taught you how being accepted and respected and positively encouraged, how these things help your mental well being and improve your academic performance as well. And in a share before that one, you expressed how you accepted him … I suppose the acceptance was two-ways. What an inspiring testimony!
anita
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