On a lighter note, here is the poem (strength without aggression toward the inner bullies and the worldly critics):

“Soul Fire”

When the flame ignites

You all add fuel to the fire

As the flames climb into the clouds, all that I needed was the one thing I wasn’t sure I could find

Caught in the burning glow, I let myself become alight with flame

Burning away who I once was and stepping into who I truly am

Arising from the ashes, letting the smoke of forgiveness rise

With each match the world critics and inner bully ignite, they burn away layer by layer

Yet like iron tempered by fire, I become stronger

I won’t change myself to be good enough for someone else

And all their insults and curses add gasoline to the flames as they try to burn me again

Yet this time, I have the fire of strength within me

As the flames climb, I throw water upon them

Watch as the smoke of letting go arises and as the coals of what has been smolder and die out

I will not be caught in the fiery temper and burned each time

Within me is a soul fire, a strength within me that will light me to my purpose

So light your matches, but you won’t diminish the inner light

With each layer you burn away, I step closer to my soul fire

It is a fire that will light up the world

The worldly critics and inner bully only bring ash and ruin

So I give them back their hate

Erase myself and wash away all the lies I made myself believe

Glow with the inner fire of my soul

i am a healer carrying the sadness and fear of others to the light to let them go

Anytime I can’t say what’s on my mind

I relax and reattach to my angelic self

And I feel the divine fire within again

And we feel one again

For as long as my heart is beating, my wings keep fluttering and I fly above this world watching for anyone who needs my help

I can’t say how long I’ve been encased in illusion

But I feel home at last

As long as my mind thinks, you can take away all of who you think I am, but what’s left is my soul in its radiant grace

You cannot take away the freedom of myself to choose my own life, to forge my own path and follow my own beliefs

With each layer you take away, you reveal more of my soul fire

You only attack what’s physical and as the layers are peeled away, I am me and stronger at my soul

I tried in my life to make everyone happy while I just hurt and hide

I guess I forgot I had a choice; I let the inner bullies and the worldly critics push me to the breaking point

I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

I let their hate and lies become who I was

But now I stretch my arms to the heavens and declare:

‘Let this earth angel unfurl her wings, awaken the fire in her heart and light up the world with her authentic voice.
For as long as I am still breathing and my mind keeps thinking, this earth angel is going to follow her heart home!”

In this farewell, I say goodbye to the ashes of my former self

Wash the regrets off my hands

And become whole again

I let the soul fire light me up in the warmest glow

And the soul fire carries me higher past the fears and doubts that have weighed me down

Taking me higher to a place where I’m alive

To a place of healing and where I can let go

Cause I’m only a castle of glass and I can break like the others

But at the cracks I can let the light in

I might never be the one to fix a leaky faucet or pave the roof but I can be the one who offers you comfort when you are down

I might never be the one who knows all of the life skills such as finances and map readings, but I can be the one to guide you when you are lost and hold you up when you can’t rise

I might never be the one who is a professional athlete, but I can be the one who as a scientist helps research for new health and environmental cures

I don’t want to be the person who battles constantly with societal values because I just want to be okay with who I am

I have my own soul fire and it burns bright

You can break every light in me, but in the darkest parts there resides a flame that won’t be quenched

You can cause ruin and ashes, but you won’t break the fire within

The soul fire burns through me now

The hate that touches me is burned away

So what if there are worldly critics and inner bullies?

What do you care what they think of you?

Every minute you spend in anger , you lose 60 seconds of happiness (math analogy)

Every time you are angry, you are saying to the worldly critics and inner bullies “Here take my happiness as I fill up with hate.”

No I’m not going to hurt anymore!

The inner bullies and worldly critics can take their hatred back.

I’ve already walked through the door of happiness

Left all of this behind and reignited my soul fire

I used to fly on the wings of death, work with the hands of doom, and saw the darkest lights but that only left me in the desolate valley of darkness

On the wings of life, by the hands of hope and radiating the brightest light from my soul fire, I will shine and cross seas and mountains to stand one with myself

My flame, My Spark, My Soul Fire

Authentic Truth and Purpose

I won’t be held back anymore

As my wings unfurl and I’m off dashing into the heavens

thanks for your comments on my poem anita:) i like these comments esp. “at the beginning I was an innocent child that doesn’t need to be forgiven or burned. also erasing what isn’t true about me is a great comment as well.” i tend to want to excel at many things which is why i want to learn how to work well with tools, be athletic and also be smart. i agree that the freedom that i want, which is inner peace can be achieved by taking time to remind myself of who i truly am and be wrought with patience. here is a quote “it takes years for a wise man to build himself, but only a second for a fool to challenge him.” a fool doesn’t really think, but acts instead so it doesn’t take much, but true wisdom takes patience and nurturing. sometimes along the path we meet people we bring us down, so we must rebuild ourselves back up. so i have to find a way to study for midterms and sats in two months. andrew has a great sense of sarcastic humor when things are a bit tough and it makes me laugh. some people find him a bit annoying when he is like that, but i think he sees the humor in tough situations and his attitude has rubbed off on me so i’m more laid-back as well. i enjoy being around people who try to see the best in life and when things get tough, they make a fun joke of it to lighten the mood.