“I am not thinking on stopping having contact with her, but I do not want to stand in the care-giver and emotional supporter role anymore, who tries to fix family problems“-
– You can practice the NPARR strategy that I wrote to you about on Oct 26: Notice when you are about to say or do (or you just said or did) something that’s in accordance with the old family role/ old habit you want to quit, Pause, Address the situation, Respond-or-not, Redirect.
This strategy is about quitting an old habit and forming (via a new Response, or no response when in the past there was always a response) a new habit, gradually and over time.
thank you so much for your reply and thoughts on the previous message. The car driving comparison is really eye-opening. I need to proccess deeply all of your suggestions and make myself a plan on how I can start doing more for myself and less for my mother to feel happier.
I give myself a few days to think through of what you have written and will come back to disscuss more on that.
Thank you once again for taking your time. Your knowledge and ability to help is just unbelievable to me. I have met so many theraposts and none of them were able to find the core issue, nor came closer to what we are talking about.
I am so happy that I decided to write in this forum and received such help. Anita, thank you once again!
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