Wait, are you saying that you were diagnosed with cancer at age 39? Or was that your mother was diagnosed and then died? I am sorry. My English isn’t as good as it should be. Even though English is my only language. I sometimes have a hard time understanding people’s posts.
Exhausted? Yes, dealing with the lost of someone can be exhausting. Funeral, paperwork, financial, and government responsibilities.
And then to top it off, your own health concerns??
The only thing one can do is to go thru it. One day at a time. One moment at a time. Feel what you feel. Take the time to focus on yourself. What makes you happy. I use to think that if I was going to pass away that I would do drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. But, I don’t want my life to be a bunch of moments being high all the time. Sure for a short moment maybe. But, I want me to be clear since my time would be short. Maybe a short list of things I wanted to do. Learn to dance? Play the piano? Talk to strangers? Go on a cruise? Visit a different country? Canada? Italy? China? How about a hot romance … novel, lol.