Home→Forums→Tough Times→Trying to find myself after years of low self esteem
- This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 years ago by Samantha.
May 11, 2013 at 2:49 pm #35457
For many years I have struggled with low self esteem. This begun in my teenage years when I suffered bad acne which through years after left me with scarring. And although my skin has improved a lot and I do feel at a better place I still find it difficult and scary letting people see me without make up on. I’m trying to teach myself now positivity and heal myself and accept myself. Having good and bad days, but ill keep at it. I just want to reach a higher place and be so grateful for all the things I do have and not dwell on this one tiny thing that I let hold me back. Has anyone else experienced something that they feel affected their self esteem? Would be great to hear other peoples opinions. I just want to make the most of this life and love myself and the life I have.
Sam xMay 11, 2013 at 5:29 pm #35459RubenParticipant
I understand what you mean. It is difficult to remove any protective wall you have, whether it be physical like make up or something emotional like suppressing your feelings.
When I was in high school, I suffered from depression because I believed I was inadequate and a failure. I wanted to be like the other kids who were experiencing life and being happy with who they were, but I wasn’t and I knew that. I knew I was different and it definitely brought my self-esteem down. I felt like I was in a class system with everyone else on top and me on the bottom. So I suppressed any emotion that was negative in order to create this facade of a perpetually happy guy, so that no one would see the depressed kid underneath. But it didn’t make me feel like them, it made me feel very alone.
When I finally discarded this facade and accepted who I was, I began to feel so much better about myself than when I was faking it.
If you spend a day, an afternoon, or even a minute without make up on, I believe that no one would think any less of you. In my opinion, a woman’s beauty is determined by how she feels about herself, not by how she looks.
I can tell that you are a strong person because you were able to reach out on this forum to anyone who’s been through what you have experienced and because you have been struggling with this for a long time and haven’t given up. You are still searching for solutions. Not a lot of people have the willpower to do that. You can definitely beat this fear.
It doesn’t have to be today, tomorrow, or even within the month, but I hope that sometime in the near future, you can look at your reflection with no make up on and simply say, “I love you for who you are”.May 11, 2013 at 9:44 pm #35465crystalParticipant
Its very common to feel that way u know…I too have pimples that leave few scars and when I was in 8th grade it got horrible.! My class is abundant with pretty girls and i felt so low that I didnt talk to many people and I only used to study and go home with my one and only friend and i never even looked anywhere else except at my mom who used to come to pick me from school…the mean girls used to mock me and gossip about me a lot and even though I knew about that i didnt go and face them…my lone support was my best friend who was with me at all times..she too is not all that pretty but her heart is made up of gold..she kept boosting my morale and later I startrd feeling ok about myself..after sometime I didnt mind the scars and I went ahead and made some good friends and I started feeling happy about myself…the way i looked didnt matter to me anymore…
After some days I started thinking about the positive things in me and I found that what I have in terms of character,academics and many other things makes me a much better person than those other girls…I feel that u should too think about the much better things in u and dont let this 1 thing hold u back…go ahead and talk your heart out and just for one moment forget about these scars and think of yourself as the best person there.start feeling good about yourself and that only will lead to a high self esteem…I would also like to tell you that make up damages your skin a lot..trust me when i tell u that it does only temporary good but long time damage…I tried all the stuff available in the market but that only messed up my condition..Then finally I decided to just stop all those and used nothing except a facewash and a face scrub…and a year later I got great results…my pimples disappered and even the scars.just leave your face normal and dont apply make up and all those stuff.im sure it will benefit u…
And please think good about yourself..When my mom adviced me all this I felt that she doesnt know how im feeling and it must be easy for her to just say so but when I followed her advice it actually worked..Just being confident about myself and feeling ok about the way i looked made me the most popular girl in my school..I still have a few scars but now days nobody thinks less about me cos of them..just let it stop affecting u..what u think about yourself is much more important than what others think about u..! All the best..And I do hope my advice helped u…
Crystal..May 12, 2013 at 6:28 am #35471
Thank you both for your kind words, it means alot
and its nice to hear of others who have experienced this too. I am determined to get myself in a better state of mind and full of positive energy and healing myself. Hearing your words just helps me even more to keep going and be strong and that i will get through this. We have this one life we should make the most of and do all we want to do and just be happy. Thank you again im so grateful for you both responding to me it has made my day.
Sam xMay 12, 2013 at 6:36 am #35472crystalParticipant
Im glad that I was of some help to u 🙂 take careMay 12, 2013 at 7:20 pm #35483gingerParticipant
This may be a strange perspective… I am so incredibly jealous that this is the type of problem you are dealing with. I so wish had acne and had low self esteem. I am instead dealing with digestive health issues, issues that my parents abandoning me as a child. I have such high anxiety that doctors have to give me an EKG to make sure it is not my heart that has a problem but is my mind that controls it.
I just want you to know that you can control your mind and you are worthy of all of the love and kindness that exists on this planet. Each human is equal and many of us see media or beauty on tv, internet etc… Those forms of”beauty” are photoshopped and not real. Maybe take some time listening to Tara Brach https://www.youtube.com/user/tarabrach she is like my dose of a daily counselor when i cannot see mine. Everything you want someone to say to you she says and it feels true and relatable. I truly believe that learning self-compassion is a skill that takes time but is fully worth it. Maybe you have not tried listening to a you-tube or a podcast but just give one a try, i never did until very recently and it has helped tremendously. this link is for cultivating compassion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Alh1EmP2Of8
Tara Brach is a leading western teacher of Buddhist meditation, emotional healing and spiritual awakening.May 13, 2013 at 12:53 pm #35502
Thank you very much for your response. Puts things into perspective a bit for me. I need to just keep at it and heal myself and get high self esteem. I should be grateful for what i do have going for me. And you have made me see that even more so. I had a look at Taras website earlier and i will view on video on Youtube tonight, thank you very much for sharing it with me.
Thank you again for replying it really does mean alot to me.