Hi,
I had been casual dating two women and was planning to commit to one of them and seeing who I was most compatible with. The first woman decided for me this last Monday. I was a little down about it but I was starting to feel more of a connection to the second one anyways.

The second woman was more sensible, down to earth, funny, and had a personality that drew me to her. Today, she decided that her life was too busy and her daughter is too young for her to date. I told her that I was disappointed and that if she feels different in a while, she should let me know. I tried to brush it off, put my profile up again, and messaged some women already.

The problem is I’m already bummed out about it. The second woman had the idea of taking things slow. I obliged her because I know her life was busy. I’m not excited to start looking again. I spent about two months on both of the women trying to get to know them. I really started to care about the second woman. I liked spending time with her. She sent pictures of things that her and her daughter were doing, and kind of brought me into her life.

Now it appears that is done and I’m slowly falling into a funk. I’m frustrated. I’ve been myself. I’ve never tried to be a player. I was respectful and always a gentleman. Do women want an a**hole? Maybe it just isn’t my time but I have been waiting so long that I want to be with someone again. I lost myself a little when my marriage ended and I have struggled to come back from it. Is it because I want it right now, I can’t have love?

I don’t know if I pushed too much in either situation. The second woman was sick this week, she is moving to a different place in her town, and Thursday is the 5th anniversary of her dad’s passing. I’m not going to contact her except to maybe send her a message on Thursday telling her that she is in my thoughts and to take care.
I don’t know if time and space will maybe allow for another chance with her. I don’t know if I am just a sensitive person but I feel I have so much love to give someone special.

I’m looking at things from a place of fear and maybe other people feel that. I was feeling so good for a while there. Two attractive, intelligent, caring women wanted to be with me. Now it’s back to square one. I feel a little rejected again. Not in the same way my ex did , but you feel like you aren’t worth it to someone. I see couples together everywhere I go and want to be part of that crowd again. In my family, there was two divorces and both my brother and sister found someone again.

I am grateful for many things in my life. I have to smile when my 11 and 14 year old are downstairs and singing along to Hotel California. I have musical fun kids who good hearted. How many 11 year olds are into listening to old jazz drummers to get tips on their playing? I’m in fairly good shape and I have parents who care about me.
I’ve changed and learned from my marriage mistakes. I just would like to share that with someone.