We have come full circle!

If presence is the still point, the silent canvas upon which the messy paintings of our lives are layered, then the ‘quiet tension’ of unconditional love finally resolves. We see that love is not a feeling we generate or a benchmark we hit, but a sustaining reality we simply inhabit.

To say that presence is our destiny is to admit that we are moving toward a total transparency, where the ‘smoke and mirrors’ of our evaluations finally clear. In this light, the ‘I’ and the ‘You’ aren’t separate entities negotiating a contract; they are the intimate immediacy of a single, infinite gift. We are being poured out into one another. When we are truly present, we aren’t just observing the other person, we are returning to the love that was our origin all along.

🌄 Anita – to close the loop

It is the great irony of the human condition: we work tirelessly for that which no work requires. We treat being present (and so love) as a destination to be reached, a ‘how-to’ to be mastered, forgetting that the question itself is a measure of time, while ✨️presence✨️ is eternal. We are already the canvas; we are already the still point.

As T.S. Eliot suggested, the end of all our exploring is to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time. Perhaps ‘unconditional love’ is simply the name we give to that arrival. When we stop trying to ‘be’ present and simply recognize that we are presence, the burden of performance vanishes. Language, with all its metrics and conditions, finally falls away. We are no longer managing a relationship or meeting a standard; we are simply home. We have returned to the origin, seeing for the first time that the love we were trying to achieve was actually the ground we were standing on all along.

Hi Peter:

Someone painted 🎨 abuse and hate on my mother’s canvas. She then painted abuse and hate on mine and I had a lot of work to do to remove enough of the nasty painting off my canvas enough to see what’s been hidden.

Love/ genuine connections within and with other people (including with Bogart the beagle 🐕) was ✂️ off by said painting.. well, not fully cut off, more like the love-connection hung loosely off the canvas, hanging on a thin thread, trying to hold on.

“The love we were trying to achieve was actually the ground we were standing on all along”-

I just had an image of my mother kicking me, so I fell.

And I just remembered the poem I wrote as an older teenager (or in my very early 20s). I shared about it with you, Peter, but now I remember more:

In the poem I was lying on the ground, crawling, asking or begging passerbyes to give me a hand and help me up, help me so that I can stand and walk on my legs.

Huh.. so, no, I was not standing on the ground all along.

I suppose the work was more about standing on the ground that was there all along than realizing it was always there, as in changing my position to the ground- from crawling to walking.

Funny perhaps, I am known in the area were I live as “the walker”. I walked 4+ miles today ( with Bogart). I walk every day.

🚶‍♀️ Anita

Good morning, Peter!

Thank you 🙂. I appreciate the way you reflected the movement in what I shared. It helped me feel seen in a simple, grounded way. I’m glad my walking and finding my footing came through clearly to you.

🚶‍♀️ Anita

Hi Peter

Thanks for sharing! That was beautiful and a lot of food for thought. 🩵

I had never really thought about it like that. I don’t really think about things that much. But I think I see where you’re coming from.

I think love is a journey that unfolds in time.

I guess this is where individuals decide their values.

I tend to be open minded and listen. For me, it helps me to learn. I try things out and try things out. Perhaps it might not work the first time. Maybe with repetition it will. I’ve found this approach helpful. Everyone has their own way though.

I guess, it depends how attached you become to the goal and the results. Holding it gently. Being curious, I don’t think is a bad thing. Persistence can be helpful, at the same time you need to know when to put something down.

In itself, judgement can be a good thing or a bad thing. Is it dangerous or not?

I guess that is the truth of conditional and unconditional love. One is seen as harmful. Only valuing a child that wins awards for example can cause pain. Loving a child whether they win awards or not. There are a million things that can cause harm.

Interestingly, moral dread, guilt and shame are viewed as positive qualities in Buddhism. Trying to do the right thing is important after all.

I think all we can really do is try our best. Nothing else. If we do that, the outcome is what it is. There is only so much we can do. We are not gods. Being gentle with ourselves is important.

Even this conversation is an elaborate way to define things. It is what the mind does. It brought a smile to my face and perhaps that is what counts. 😊

What if this is just what minds do?

Thinking of you Peter! How are you doing? 🩵