URGENT: My Bestie refused to see me

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This topic has 24 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 11 months ago by Anonymous.

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May 16, 2016 at 9:06 am #104662

Swanky
Participant

Hi there, I have a supposed best friend who refuses to visit me whenever I ask her. Last year, she often visits my home and we talk, laugh, play and do stuffs together. Buh now is not the same, since last year December she has refused to visit me or even do any outing with me. I don’t even know where she lives, because she won’t tell me. I feel so hurt, fed up and neglected. Please what can I do? Your response will be highly appreciated.. Thanks

May 16, 2016 at 9:11 am #104664

Anonymous
Guest

Dear deejacy2:

Your distress is obvious. I wonder: how is it possible that you don’t know where a “Bestie” lives?

anita

May 16, 2016 at 11:13 am #104673
Swanky
Participant
@Anita, she’s comes often to my house, but refused to let me know, each time I asked about visiting her. Our friendship is like 7 months…more Contributions pls.
- This reply was modified 7 years, 11 months ago by Swanky. Reason: errors
May 16, 2016 at 11:48 am #104679

Anonymous
Guest

Dear deejacy2:

Did you ask her why she refused to let you know where she lives? If you did, what was her response? If you didn’t ask her, did you wonder to yourself why she won’t? Have any ideas as to why?

anita

May 16, 2016 at 12:12 pm #104683
Swanky
Participant
@Anita she playfully disses the Question, Like for instance when you ask her, “she’d be like Never!”, and she just goes on and on with that. There was a day she would given me her address, she promised me. I Visited her at her former office, so I couldn’t really stay long I had to rush off for an important appointment, so I told she should text it on chat for me. Since that day, I have being asking her about the addy, but she went back on her word. Since that day, that’s where our problems began, ,she started talking to me so aggressively on chat. I couldn’t cope with the torture anymore, so I decided to let go for two months. In April, she saw me, tried to dodge, but couldn’t cos our eyes met. She was like why haven’t I contacted her All this While, that I just stopped friends with her. At this point, I thought she wanted to rekindle our friendship, but I was wrong. I asked her again if we could see, she said yes, not this week but the following week. I asked her again, she still said “Never”! I told her but its urgent we see, cos we need to sort things out; she Said, she counters that opinion…Since then i haven’t spoken to her, and she hasn’t bothered to contact me.
- This reply was modified 7 years, 11 months ago by Swanky.
May 16, 2016 at 12:21 pm #104688

Anonymous
Guest

Dear deejacy2:

i have to be away from the computer for a few hours. I can’t write much in reply to you because I don’t understand the situation yet.

You wrote: “when you ask her, “she’d be like Never!”, and she just goes on and on with that”- do you mean when YOU ask her something? What did you ask her?

I understand she is a woman; are you a man or a woman? Was there a romantic/ physical attraction possibility in this relationship?

anita

May 16, 2016 at 12:54 pm #104690
Swanky
Participant
Yes I am female and there wasn’t any romantic attraction, but I do like her sense of humour. And she says Never!, whenever I request for us to see or hang out.
- This reply was modified 7 years, 11 months ago by Swanky.
May 16, 2016 at 2:26 pm #104703

Evan
Participant

Hi Deejacy2,

What is it that you feel you need from her? What is missing in your life that she fulfiled?

We often use our eyes to project ourselves. Perhaps in this situation, it would be worth using them to look inward – not outward. I sense for what ever reason, that your friend is unable to, or unwilling to allow you closer at this stage. It feels like she is distancing herself, without respectfully revealing why to you.

We can guess for like……. forever as to why. Maybe she loved you, or maybe something was said that made her realise the friendship could not continue….. thousands of possibilities. One day you may discover why. For now, I would suggest exploring your feeling as to why you feel the way you do. What do you need to move forward?

Best

Evan

May 16, 2016 at 2:53 pm #104705

Anonymous
Guest

Dear deejaycy2:

It is obvious you feel pain over this woman who was your friend at one time, and is no longer your friend. I do hope you make another friend, and this time, someone who will invite you to her home as you invite her to your home.

I was thinking that it is possible that your Bestie, as you call her, was embarrassed for you to visit her in her home and meet her parents/ family. Maybe she preferred to have no contact with you as long as you don’t see her home. I don’t know. It is a possibility.

I don’t know though why she was aggressive with you on Chat. I wish I knew these things. I wish you knew. I am sorry you are distressed and hope you will feel better soon!

anita

May 16, 2016 at 2:59 pm #104706

Swanky
Participant

Hi Evan, I guess am really so attached to her. And since I met her, I haven’t felt the need to get other friends. She was more than enough for me…She made me happy, cos she has a real good sense of humor. She’s the only I confide in, I feel like myself anytime am around her. Honestly, I don’t know what I need to move on, cos have tried being with my other friends, it just isn’t working. It seem to me she just wanna be ordinary friends, but not as close as before and I can’t cope with that…, She tries to shorten our conversations on chat, its not like before…, its not easy to play along..Gosh! I wish I knew what I did…Feel so terrible, its being a week plus and she hasn’t bothered to contact me…..it just seems she no longer cares.

May 16, 2016 at 3:04 pm #104708

Swanky
Participant

Thanks for your advice Anita, I really am grateful..

May 16, 2016 at 3:24 pm #104714

Anonymous
Guest

You are welcome, deejaycy2. Please write again. Hope you feel better real soon.

anita

May 17, 2016 at 1:09 pm #104800

Swanky
Participant

More Contributions please

May 17, 2016 at 1:45 pm #104803

Evan
Participant

Hi Deejacy2,

I can see she has touched you deeply – almost a soul connection for want of a better word. These relationships occur to help us realise who we are. See if this helps explain something within…

How to Tell if a Relationship is Karmic, Soulmate or Twin Flame.

Best

Evan

May 17, 2016 at 2:59 pm #104814

Michelle Scott
Participant

Maybe she is homeless, or living in a very bad area, or living with people that would not like it if she had a friend? Maybe she’s so embarrassed to let you know where she lives, and your pressuring was what caused the division? It seems that every time you speak, you are asking her something she does not want to tell you. If you two are so close, and have a good time otherwise, then I would stop asking, because no matter the reason, it is something that you don’t have any right to ask more than once.
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