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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 48 total)
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  • #298883
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear JHK:

    Can you list “her bad attributes”, as in 1, 2, 3..?

    anita

    #298907
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello Anita

    I am going to provide you with one of the attribute which is her mood swing. Everyone has mood swing at times but her mood swing can be drastic at such it affects people around her and she cares but she chose not to

    #298915
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear JHK:

    When she was in her worst mood that you observed, how did she behave and what did she say?

    anita

    #298927
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello Anita

    She will try to tone herself down when there are other people around us but I do get it often from her and she does have mood swing often. I am used to it

    Is it bad if she only I can tolerate it?

    #298941
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear JHK:

    You didn’t answer my question: think about the worst mood swing on her part that you witnessed, what did she say and do during that mood swing?

    anita

    #298965
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello Anita

    She pushed me away when she is in mood swing and she will ignore people at times

    #298969
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear JHK:

    By “She pushed me away”, do you mean she physically pushed you away, as in pushing you away with her arms and legs, kicking you out of her office, let’s say-

    – or do you mean that she told you something like: I don’t feel like talking right now. I feel like having alone time?

    anita

    #298981
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello Anita

    Not the physical type of push. It is more of the she needs alone time type of push.

    #298991
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear JHK:

    You mentioned earlier today, on this thread, “her bad attributes”. I asked you to list her bad attributes. You then listed…  only one bad attribute: “her mood swing can be drastic“. When I asked you what did she say and do during her worst mood swing, you answered that she said that needed some alone time.

    Well, when a person says: I need alone time, not yelling it, not physically pushing a person away, that is not a “mood swing”, nor is it a drastic mood swing.

    Do you think that when a person says (not yelling) that she needs time alone, that indeed that is a drastic mood swing?

    anita

    #299063
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello Anita

    She has a few bad attributes but I didn’t elaborate further on it.

    Because her mood swing will cause her to be unfriendly thus people do not get near to her

    #299099
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear JHK:

    I think you are primarily angry at her and you are obsessed with her. I didn’t find evidence in your threads that she is a bad person or a dishonest person. She may be but I didn’t see anything in your writing to suggest it to me. On the other hand I see evidence that you are not honest with yourself, with her, and with me.

    I think that what you have with her is not a friendship but an obsession. Best you move on best you can. Professional counseling will  be best for you and should help you to move on.

    “Walk away” is the title of your thread and that is the best thing for you to do and start a process of healing from earlier life experiences, that is, childhood experiences,  that are hurting you now in your quest for love.

    anita

    #299121
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello Anita

    Sorry, I didn’t mean to refer her as a bad or dishonest person.

    I think what both of us have is friendship, not obsession. I went to read it up obsession and I don’t fit the criteria of being an obsessed  person. Could it be some of my actions has suggested that I am obsessed with her?

    Because even at work, people are saying that what both of us haven’t been talking to each other lately which is something I didn’t take note of until recently.

    But it will be very weird to ask her if she thinks I am obsessed with her.

    I like talking to her and we talk almost everyday via text, perhaps because I am not used to her to being less interactive.

    #299161
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear JHK:

    I think that you are obsessed with her, that is, you are focused on her and you overthink about her, but all that thinking does not lead you to clarity, or if it does at times, you lose that short term clarity when you do more overthinking. Your overthinking is fueled by anxiety and it is not an effective kind of thinking, this is why I referred to  it as obsessive thinking.

    You started 8 threads about her since June 6, and every post in these threads is about her. Here are some quotes from earlier posts: “overthinking.. I am too clingy to my female friend… she told me that I was kinda of clingy… Maybe I should have given her some space… Does overthinking hurts a friendship… How to stop overthinking?… I tend to overthink into situations… overthinking makes the other party annoyed… It can be me being insecure that prompts me to be overthinking… my overthinking is more towards this female friend of mine… I feel that I asked unnecessary questions… The anxiety to wait is taxing, because sometimes she does reply but very late.. I am very clingy towards her… I often overthink“.

    Too much thinking that doesn’t lead to clarity, and when clarity is achieved, it is soon lost with more overthinking. I call this obsessing.

    anita

     

    #299165
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello Anita

    I feel that my overthinking is more towards of worrying about the situation, the anxiety of anticipation relating to her. I am more of the emotional type of person, so could it be that I looking into the situation too deeply and over concern into it that maybe I am worrying too much sometimes?

    Maybe it does have the image of obsession but I feel it it not to the extent yet because I am trying to rectify and get enlightenment which shows that at least I am sane enough to think in a rational way instead of getting myself get drifted into the wrongdoing

    If I am obsessed, there are tons of ways that can be execute and just by thinking about it, I feel disgusted about it.

    #299171
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear JHK:

    Earlier you wrote: “I went to read it up obsession and I don’t fit the criteria of being an obsessed person”-

    – will you copy and paste the criteria you came across, and then mark which criteria you do not fit?

    anita

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 48 total)

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