Was it a mistake or a wise decision?

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    Hello! everyone, I have gone through a situation where I acted very differently (as my few friends say me), Its kinda hard to go over this and I need some suggestions whether I was wrong or right.

    I talked with a girl over the phone for few days and I started to like her. I could feel that she wasn’t showing that interest as I did. We were still chatting and talking frequently almost every day. At one point I felt that she is not interested to talk and I stopped texting her but she started to text me back and again we were taking and sharing our daily routine and hobbies. She mentioned that she is sarcastic funny and was making jokes about my appearance and dressing sense. When I asked she said she is just playing.. To bee honest, I liked her so much and I was ignoring all these things that she might be playing or teasing me.

    One day she asked me if I have any plan to visit her city and she shared her availability. I visited her. I picked her and she started to say mean things again and again, such as you don’t know very well how to drive, I was in new city where I could not hold me phone for gps and she was giving me directions from her phone.. she was just taking and taking something I interrupted her and asked for directions again.. While coming back she asked me to go back without following the gps lol.. I was wondering that I was in new city how its possible and she said to me that “you  don;t have good memory”. . I was so frustrated and angry that my brain was kinda hanged and could not think what to do and say.. I just said Its not possible because I am in new city..  Hope fully started to follow the gps again. When I dropped her she asked me ‘ do you know we went to four places’? I was kinda confused that she was taking about just wondered and said which four we just went to just two places.. and she just walked away in sat in her car. moreover, while I was driving she kept saying who has given you that driving license.. bla bla.. I was just listening and didn’t say any thing. She contradicted my each and every point. She was just praising herself and her car and all that..

    I had no idea why I asked her again to meet tomorrow. ( I could be I liked her so much that I was just ignoring what she has said before)

    Next day we met again and wen to a walk. I could feel like she was interviewing me asking a lot of question one by one and whenever I ask a question she gave a answer in sarcastic way..( felt like she was in depression or something and I felt like she don’t even know what she was saying, she was cute and really skinny) I did’t want to hurt her with any of my comment. I was just polite with her all the time but she kept commenting on my clothes and she was praising other guys. ( I did’t stop her because I through she might realize by her-self that she was going over the limit)

    Now I regret that I should have stopped and should have shown assertiveness. One day again she said something really rude over the phone and I texted her to stay in her limit. I never started the conversation again. She started to text me again very sarcastic text.. making fun of my skin color… at that time I didn’t say her anything. I was born a brought up in family and community which respect women a lot and always avoid to say anything bad to them..

    After few days we talked over the phone again and she kept saying so many mean things to me.. which I can’t right on this forum.. I was just listing (Now I regret that why I did’t speak up at that time.. She was from one of the known family and didn’t want to use any disrespectful language against her ) Her sarcastic comments and putting me down each time bothered me a lot each and every day..  Finally, I felt so ashed and helpless, I wanted to went out.. I called her left a voice message and said never take someones politeness as their weakness and used each and very abusive word..

    She wrote a text that If I hadn’t used the abusive words she could have accepted me as bf ( at that time I did’t trapped again and blocked her)

    Now I regret that why I allowed her to ruin my peace from the first day? Why I could not understand that she was using her  sweet voice and cute appearance; just to make fun of me and my feeling..? Its kinda hard to go over all the episode.. any suggestions??







    Dear carry:

    It was definitely a wise decision to end all contact with this girl, and it is a wise decision to continue to do so. All you can do is to learn from this experience. When you meet another girl (or any person) who attacks you with put downs, negative criticism, end your contact with that person immediately.

    As you experienced, when you accepted the initial put downs, she escalated to stronger verbal abuse.

    You were taught to show respect to women: fine. So instead of reciprocating a woman’s verbal abuse of you (put downs, making fun of your clothes, driving, etc.), simply end the contact as soon as possible. For example, while driving to see her, when she was on the phone negatively criticizing you, “as soon as possible” would have been to turn around and drive home.

    In your title you asked: “Was it a mistake..?” By “it” you mean ending contact with her, correct? Are you thinking then that it might have been a mistake to end contact with her?



    Man listen up, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

    As a matter of fact, from what I have read, it is the girl that is facing a deep inferiority complex. And to cover her inner voice which keeps reminding her ‘I am not good enough’, she shows herself as high and mighty, unfortunately for you, she had to make you look down for her too feel good.

    Its a very good decision to end it, especially when you have been groomed in a way to respect women like that. She is like a broken glass, interacting with her will only get you hurt.

    Take my advice to heart, it is good to be sweet, but don’t be too sweet like honey or people will swallow you. And don’t be too bitter, or people will spit you out.

    When someone says something bad about you, you answer them back confidently. Your answer doesn’t have to be a counter insult, or a boast about yourself but it has to portray an air of confidence that is etched within your bones saying ‘You can believe in whatever you believe in, I know who I am, and I love it and you know you love it’


    It was certainly a wise decision… Move on in life, there are many good people around…


    Stay Blessed!

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